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trans2010-09-12 02:17 am
windfox87.livejournal.com) wrote in trans2010-09-12 02:17 am
Entry tags:
Shopping
Well this is my first post to this group and I figured a brief intro is in order before I get to the subject du jour. I go by windfox on line, I'm 22, I've been out as Trans for 7 1/2 years, on hormones & full time for approx. 5 months, I'm an activist in the LGBT community and I focus on Trans issues where possible -I also was a token Trans person for 4 years, but let's not get into that-, and I'm a second year seminary student with the Unitarian Universalists. That is exceptionally brief, but I do think about internet safety and it is late with church I cannot miss tomorrow morning.
So I was out getting some exercise wandering around the Mall of America and as I was leaving I decided to drop in at Victoria's Secret. Now I've been there before -ok not that location, but still same store same area- and I've never once had any problems. And I didn't today, apparently I was at my girliest, there and every other shop I stopped in it was "can I help you ma'am" the whole day, which is really nice since I've only been on hormones 5 months & still have people screw up my pronouns at school.
At one point I was talking with the store clerk, unusual since I'm still nervous enough about being in there that I generally don't talk, and she mentioned going to a fitting room and trying one on. Now that was a bit much for me, I quickly explained I was only window shopping -the truth too, gotta love being a broke student- and she wandered off. That encounter brought up an interesting thought, why did I panic when she mentioned trying it on, I have enough of a chest that it would have earned a pity glance & awkward explanation -the classic hormone condition dodge- at best if fitting issues came up. Now if that were it I would stop there & ask about bra shopping, but then I wandered into a store that is a long & tall women's clothing place. I had been there before & given the type of store with it's location -the area is the Transgender capitol of the US-, figured I would have no worries if I wanted to try something on -even though I couldn't afford anything even if I wanted to-. But that anxiety of trying something on in a women's clothing store hit again, I knew being nervous about trying things on in a Victoria's Secret was one thing, but a store that seems bound to see a steady stream of Transwomen some of whom probably look much more masculine than me even on a bad day.
I would add that despite being full time I'm still very shy about restrooms, my school & my seminary are the only 2 places I'm currently comfortable -sad to say but anxiety is one my side issues.
So the question for everyone, are fitting rooms an un- or under-discussed gendered space in the Trans community, or do they fit in with discussions of restrooms. Let's hear your wisdom, your stories, your experiences, and your insights; maybe I'll learn something that will help me past this odd phobia.
So I was out getting some exercise wandering around the Mall of America and as I was leaving I decided to drop in at Victoria's Secret. Now I've been there before -ok not that location, but still same store same area- and I've never once had any problems. And I didn't today, apparently I was at my girliest, there and every other shop I stopped in it was "can I help you ma'am" the whole day, which is really nice since I've only been on hormones 5 months & still have people screw up my pronouns at school.
At one point I was talking with the store clerk, unusual since I'm still nervous enough about being in there that I generally don't talk, and she mentioned going to a fitting room and trying one on. Now that was a bit much for me, I quickly explained I was only window shopping -the truth too, gotta love being a broke student- and she wandered off. That encounter brought up an interesting thought, why did I panic when she mentioned trying it on, I have enough of a chest that it would have earned a pity glance & awkward explanation -the classic hormone condition dodge- at best if fitting issues came up. Now if that were it I would stop there & ask about bra shopping, but then I wandered into a store that is a long & tall women's clothing place. I had been there before & given the type of store with it's location -the area is the Transgender capitol of the US-, figured I would have no worries if I wanted to try something on -even though I couldn't afford anything even if I wanted to-. But that anxiety of trying something on in a women's clothing store hit again, I knew being nervous about trying things on in a Victoria's Secret was one thing, but a store that seems bound to see a steady stream of Transwomen some of whom probably look much more masculine than me even on a bad day.
I would add that despite being full time I'm still very shy about restrooms, my school & my seminary are the only 2 places I'm currently comfortable -sad to say but anxiety is one my side issues.
So the question for everyone, are fitting rooms an un- or under-discussed gendered space in the Trans community, or do they fit in with discussions of restrooms. Let's hear your wisdom, your stories, your experiences, and your insights; maybe I'll learn something that will help me past this odd phobia.