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trans2004-06-10 11:56 am
dontwearmyshoes.livejournal.com) wrote in trans2004-06-10 11:56 am
Sex with a heterosexual transvestite male (x-posted)
This is a rather long post... sorry, so please
The intimate life between me and my S.O. has been wonderful from the start. He is a sweet, kind, attentive and gentle lover. For the first time in my life, I actually *like* sex!!! I hate using the word "sex" as it's so much more "making love" than anything else. I mean, it's truly been amazing with him! He has no desire to incorporate the crossdressing in our intimate life, however i've been letting my "male" side out quite a bit during our trysts. It's been...well, weird... but lovely all at the same time.
With that said...
• Does anyone else find sex is different with a transvestite? And if so, how? Things I have noticed is that his goal is to please me above all else. He is gentle and sweet, and he actually *loves* doing things to me that perhaps other non-CD'ing partners weren't so apt to. The biggest thing in particular is oral stimulation. My S.O. simply *LOVES* pleasing me in this way.
• He is non-threatening in the bedroom. he isn't a jerk! He's not overly aggressive (if I want him to be aggressive, he tries to be which has lead into some fun, and we're still working on that), but he really seriously isn't a jerk about sex. He's not piggish or chauvinistic or dirty or porn-like. Everything is very nice and very sweet with him. Even his mannerisms with platonic girlfriends and women he meets is very gentlemanly. He doesn't oogle or drool. I don't feel threatened if he looks at another woman. Half the time I think he's checking out her outfit anyway...
• He seems to like and appreciate sensual things I do for him more than other non-CD'ing partners (and I find myself wanting to do things more and more for him). Things like running a bubble bath with all the candles lit, candles in the bedroom, incorporating soft fabrics in my bed and my bedtime wear, music in the background, wine, etc etc etc. Even making dinner for him seems to really touch a soft spot within him and he is so *appreciative* of everything.
• One word: FOREPLAY! Holy cow... I didn't think there was a man alive out there who believed in this word. My S.O. *has* to have this and I'm more than glad to "give in!" Our love making sessions have lasted up to six hours!! on an average they're about 2 - 3 hours, deliciously exhausting! He is really into touching and feeling and the site and sounds and being close much more than he is into the actual act of penetration. Sometimes we don't even get to that part of it.
• he shows me constant affection in a non sexual way—holding hands, cuddling, caressing, talking, calling me once in a while at work because he knows I've been going thru a hard time with all this and he wants me to know things are ok. He thinks about me constantly, he brings me little gifts (books, music). I've never in my life been showered with so much affection, attention and the feeling of being *loved*...
• We've discovered he is a multiple orgasmic male. Wow! That's a mouthful. This is something neither he nor I thought men could do until I did some research (google the phrase "orgasm without ejaculation" and you'll find more info). I never knew orgasm and ejaculation were two different things in a guy. he's relieved to find out he's "normal" as he's always associated his "internal orgasms" with his being a transvestite. I've never been able to multiple orgasm until I was with him. I always thought I just wasn't built for it. But something in him is bringing it out in me. I am having the time of my life not only watching how pleased he is with himself that he can make me orgasm for HOURS, but seeing how relieved he is that multiple orgasms are something he can enjoy with himself fully as a male (and even when he's exploring the feminine side of himself) and that it's completely normal.
• Speaking of him bringing things out in me, I have never in my whole life felt like such a woman (never felt like much of a girl anyway, so this is all new to me). I feel so feminine every time I'm around him. I feel pretty and sexy and sensual. He makes me feel like I'm the only woman in the world.
• He expresses sincere interest in what I'm doing whether it be asking about my day at work or even listening to me vent about drama with my family. He has *literally* missed NBA basketball playoffs just to have a deep conversation with me.
• Although I am not comfortable with the thought of seeing him dressed as a woman, and he doesn't want to share that with me anyway, I made the first move the other nite in incorporating a bit of gender reversal within our intimate life. I wanted to give him *something* that would show that things will be ok, and that i want to share this part of my life with him in a safe say. At the age of 47 he has finally discovered his nipples! :::giggle::: Or rather, I've discovered them for him. My dominate (male) side has kicked in lately with some of our bedroom play, and for the first time in his life, he allowed himself to let someone else take him "there"... meaning, he let himself experience with me, the feelings he feels when he's only by himself and dressed up. he said that the other nite, he actually felt like his body was female, that he experienced the pleasure much in the same way that I must. Right now everything I'm doing is mostly focused on his chest area and he is *highly* sensitive. He never thought to (and was afraid to ask anyway) for this kind of stimulation from the two previous female partners that new about his CD'ing. Do you want specifics? Ok, here are a few... lights out, candles lit... I have a wonderful wrought iron headboard and a super silky long scarf in which I proceeded to *lightly* wrap around his wrists and tie to a slat in the footboard. Neither one of us has done this before! It went beyond my usual teasing and massaging his chest/nipple area... I began to imagine it as though he had breasts! Hairy breasts, but nonetheless, breasts! (and this is a little embarrassing, but I could picture him with a MANGINA! HAHAHAHA! I was trying to get into his psyche as much as I could, so I figured, why not!) anyway, if you work your hands right, you can really get a handful of chest when massaging and playing. He went WILD! He said he was a little scared at first, but put his trust in me and let himself go. This was so odd to hear since I've spent most of my time fearful of this whole thing. I felt somewhat kindred to him that he would have fear and trust issues with me, but then remembered we've only been together six months and we're still getting to know each other. All this made me feel closer to him that nite. and it felt good to let myself go a bit, and be the guy, but especially to watch his face and know the pleasure he was feeling, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well--it was like sharing a first ever kiss with someone else who's never been kissed before either. it was magical.
as I said, he went absolutely koo-koo over the entire thing. I brought him to orgasm several times in a couple hours (that's a big plus for the multiple orgasmic male... they can keep cumming in successive intervals if the orgasms are "dry"). anyway, back to the story: he said he felt as though I was *inside* of him, that he was really shocked at the sensation of what I was doing to him, and that he never before has experienced any of this with anyone else (he was *literally* wide eyed after all this! It was so fun to watch him!). He felt it was spiritual (and I agree, most of our intimate time feels very spiritual). This was a lot for us to digest in one evening. We agreed that although this was amazing, that we needed a bit of a break from all the gender issue related stuff for a while. he's not used to having to think about it so much, and reiterated that crossdressing was a small part of his life, but he understood it needed to be out in the open lately so we can work thru this. it bothers him, though, that he is thinking about it so much lately.
We made love the next nite (very traditional "vanilla" lovemaking session) and I have to admit, it wasn't as delightful as what we did the nite before! i want more!!
so how can i be ok with what we are doing in our intimate life and still be freaked out in my day to day life with the thought of him dressed as a woman???
Anyway, that's it... any discussion would be appreciated...
The intimate life between me and my S.O. has been wonderful from the start. He is a sweet, kind, attentive and gentle lover. For the first time in my life, I actually *like* sex!!! I hate using the word "sex" as it's so much more "making love" than anything else. I mean, it's truly been amazing with him! He has no desire to incorporate the crossdressing in our intimate life, however i've been letting my "male" side out quite a bit during our trysts. It's been...well, weird... but lovely all at the same time.
With that said...
• Does anyone else find sex is different with a transvestite? And if so, how? Things I have noticed is that his goal is to please me above all else. He is gentle and sweet, and he actually *loves* doing things to me that perhaps other non-CD'ing partners weren't so apt to. The biggest thing in particular is oral stimulation. My S.O. simply *LOVES* pleasing me in this way.
• He is non-threatening in the bedroom. he isn't a jerk! He's not overly aggressive (if I want him to be aggressive, he tries to be which has lead into some fun, and we're still working on that), but he really seriously isn't a jerk about sex. He's not piggish or chauvinistic or dirty or porn-like. Everything is very nice and very sweet with him. Even his mannerisms with platonic girlfriends and women he meets is very gentlemanly. He doesn't oogle or drool. I don't feel threatened if he looks at another woman. Half the time I think he's checking out her outfit anyway...
• He seems to like and appreciate sensual things I do for him more than other non-CD'ing partners (and I find myself wanting to do things more and more for him). Things like running a bubble bath with all the candles lit, candles in the bedroom, incorporating soft fabrics in my bed and my bedtime wear, music in the background, wine, etc etc etc. Even making dinner for him seems to really touch a soft spot within him and he is so *appreciative* of everything.
• One word: FOREPLAY! Holy cow... I didn't think there was a man alive out there who believed in this word. My S.O. *has* to have this and I'm more than glad to "give in!" Our love making sessions have lasted up to six hours!! on an average they're about 2 - 3 hours, deliciously exhausting! He is really into touching and feeling and the site and sounds and being close much more than he is into the actual act of penetration. Sometimes we don't even get to that part of it.
• he shows me constant affection in a non sexual way—holding hands, cuddling, caressing, talking, calling me once in a while at work because he knows I've been going thru a hard time with all this and he wants me to know things are ok. He thinks about me constantly, he brings me little gifts (books, music). I've never in my life been showered with so much affection, attention and the feeling of being *loved*...
• We've discovered he is a multiple orgasmic male. Wow! That's a mouthful. This is something neither he nor I thought men could do until I did some research (google the phrase "orgasm without ejaculation" and you'll find more info). I never knew orgasm and ejaculation were two different things in a guy. he's relieved to find out he's "normal" as he's always associated his "internal orgasms" with his being a transvestite. I've never been able to multiple orgasm until I was with him. I always thought I just wasn't built for it. But something in him is bringing it out in me. I am having the time of my life not only watching how pleased he is with himself that he can make me orgasm for HOURS, but seeing how relieved he is that multiple orgasms are something he can enjoy with himself fully as a male (and even when he's exploring the feminine side of himself) and that it's completely normal.
• Speaking of him bringing things out in me, I have never in my whole life felt like such a woman (never felt like much of a girl anyway, so this is all new to me). I feel so feminine every time I'm around him. I feel pretty and sexy and sensual. He makes me feel like I'm the only woman in the world.
• He expresses sincere interest in what I'm doing whether it be asking about my day at work or even listening to me vent about drama with my family. He has *literally* missed NBA basketball playoffs just to have a deep conversation with me.
• Although I am not comfortable with the thought of seeing him dressed as a woman, and he doesn't want to share that with me anyway, I made the first move the other nite in incorporating a bit of gender reversal within our intimate life. I wanted to give him *something* that would show that things will be ok, and that i want to share this part of my life with him in a safe say. At the age of 47 he has finally discovered his nipples! :::giggle::: Or rather, I've discovered them for him. My dominate (male) side has kicked in lately with some of our bedroom play, and for the first time in his life, he allowed himself to let someone else take him "there"... meaning, he let himself experience with me, the feelings he feels when he's only by himself and dressed up. he said that the other nite, he actually felt like his body was female, that he experienced the pleasure much in the same way that I must. Right now everything I'm doing is mostly focused on his chest area and he is *highly* sensitive. He never thought to (and was afraid to ask anyway) for this kind of stimulation from the two previous female partners that new about his CD'ing. Do you want specifics? Ok, here are a few... lights out, candles lit... I have a wonderful wrought iron headboard and a super silky long scarf in which I proceeded to *lightly* wrap around his wrists and tie to a slat in the footboard. Neither one of us has done this before! It went beyond my usual teasing and massaging his chest/nipple area... I began to imagine it as though he had breasts! Hairy breasts, but nonetheless, breasts! (and this is a little embarrassing, but I could picture him with a MANGINA! HAHAHAHA! I was trying to get into his psyche as much as I could, so I figured, why not!) anyway, if you work your hands right, you can really get a handful of chest when massaging and playing. He went WILD! He said he was a little scared at first, but put his trust in me and let himself go. This was so odd to hear since I've spent most of my time fearful of this whole thing. I felt somewhat kindred to him that he would have fear and trust issues with me, but then remembered we've only been together six months and we're still getting to know each other. All this made me feel closer to him that nite. and it felt good to let myself go a bit, and be the guy, but especially to watch his face and know the pleasure he was feeling, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well--it was like sharing a first ever kiss with someone else who's never been kissed before either. it was magical.
as I said, he went absolutely koo-koo over the entire thing. I brought him to orgasm several times in a couple hours (that's a big plus for the multiple orgasmic male... they can keep cumming in successive intervals if the orgasms are "dry"). anyway, back to the story: he said he felt as though I was *inside* of him, that he was really shocked at the sensation of what I was doing to him, and that he never before has experienced any of this with anyone else (he was *literally* wide eyed after all this! It was so fun to watch him!). He felt it was spiritual (and I agree, most of our intimate time feels very spiritual). This was a lot for us to digest in one evening. We agreed that although this was amazing, that we needed a bit of a break from all the gender issue related stuff for a while. he's not used to having to think about it so much, and reiterated that crossdressing was a small part of his life, but he understood it needed to be out in the open lately so we can work thru this. it bothers him, though, that he is thinking about it so much lately.
We made love the next nite (very traditional "vanilla" lovemaking session) and I have to admit, it wasn't as delightful as what we did the nite before! i want more!!
so how can i be ok with what we are doing in our intimate life and still be freaked out in my day to day life with the thought of him dressed as a woman???
Anyway, that's it... any discussion would be appreciated...