trans | would love to engage in a discussion

hi,
i'm a student in denver, colorado, and i am currently taking a class on the biology of women. i like to consider myself an "academic feminist" and am pretty well versed in feminist theory. that being said, i am really committed to being an ally for the transgendered community-- though, it is so hard when i've never had any questions about my own gender identity besides the usual "what is masculine, what is feminine?" i've had a hard time separating the constructions of femininity from what it means to be female -- i mean, i know wearing pink doesn't make you a girl but what really does? what is innate? how is it that i wake up in the mornings and just know, and feel comfortable, in labeling myself a girl -- is it because i bleed, have the capacity to give birth, ect? i am really trying to engage in a dialogue of difference... this is an issue that has fascinated me from the get-go and i would love to communicate one-on-one with a community member.
recently, i read "she's not here anymore" by jennifer finney boylan, and some of the ideas presented were problematic to me--- particularly the needing to dress like a girl to feel like a girl. i've read other material in which the sexual re-assignment surgery was done but the individual presented herself as androgynous (by society's definitions).
i apologize if any of my wording was problematic itself-- i am really trying to give "stream of consciousness" in order to speak from my heart.

thank you,
erica
olddwarfheart@hotmail.com