overall i think the parents have the right idea here. but i worry, with their purely social-constructionist views of gender, if they will punish Pop should ze declare hirself to be a specific gender, and especially if ze wants to present as is stereotypical for that gender (for example, ze declares hirself to be female & wants to wear makeup and doesn't want to play with "boy toys").

the question is, are they allowing Pop to choose & express hir gender on hir own terms (even if the parents don't like the results), or are they trying to force Pop into some kind of rigid notion of genderlessness? the latter would be as misguided as forcing Pop into a rigid notion of the sex/gender sie is "supposed" to be.