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pkbarbiedoll.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
trans2005-01-29 09:26 am
pkbarbiedoll.livejournal.com) wrote in trans2005-01-29 09:26 am
Non-ops, crossdressers, androgynes oh my!
===================================
edited jan 30
Okay I totally don't have my shit together. I'm just a stupid brat desperately trying to make sense of the world and unfortunately my post here was nothing short of inciteful and wrong. I'm leaving it below, unedited, because I want everyone to see how fucking stupid this is.
I almost deleted the post yesterday due to guilt. I knew I was wrong otherwise I wouldn't have added the "PPS" at the bottom of my post.
Then I read a post![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
perigree made this morning which opened my eyes.
So if you really want to know about labels then read this instead.
Again I am sorry for any hard feelings I've caused.
be well,
Adrya
============================================================
Well I personally wouldn't use the term 'non-op' to describe crossdressers - unless they 'crossdressed' full time and considered themselves women. but then they wouldn't be crossdressers anymore. ;o)
See I once identified as a crossdresser many years ago when I was struggling to find out who I was. I no longer view myself that way because that implies many things which simply aren't true.
I think its safe to say that most crossdressers are not 'out' and as such do not experience day-to-day living hardships that transsexuals endure pre and post transition (safety, employment, ect).
M2f transsexuals do not crossdress. We are women, not men pretending (or fantasizing) to be women.
Some of us just want to distinguish this obvious (at least to many of us) difference between crossdressers and transsexuals. We don't want our experiences cheapened by people that sometimes appear similar on the outside but who have little in common on the inside.
Gender scale notwithstanding, this is something the community is going to have to learn to live with since many of us are clearly not interested in gender-fucking. We just want to be known as plain ole' women (or men if f2m), however right or wrong that is.
I know many crossdressers are mature and don't care about the sexual aspect of thier persona. One of them wrote a newsletter called Grace & Lace, and put together a book called By the Grace of God which helped me tremendously with my spiritual reconciliation. If I hated crossdressers I wouldn't have read those newsletters or book.
Many cds on the other hand are very sexual, and some are borderline predatory and have very male 'energy'.
Like with SCC.. I went to the convention to meet an aquaintence (to TALK lol) and well.. I was asked to go upstairs to wait while clothes were changed. I intended to sit in the hallway but they insisted I go inside their room. The next thing I know the aquaintence is nearly buck naked and I felt very uncomfortable, like why the hell was I asked to come up here for this. I know its bad but I felt like I was being paraded around in a meat market. I wanted to hold a sign saying "I'm not here for sex". Its lovely that the SCC con is available to CD's since it is a safe place for them to be who they are. But you see I felt like I had -nothing- in common with the guady prom dresses and sparkly wigs and dresses up to -here-.
Oh and when I first drove into the parking garage for SCC one of the cd's saw my car coming in and turned around to pick something up off the ground, showing off thier pretty little butt and I was thinking, how incredibly gross and inconsiderate.
So you see *that* is why some of us occassionally react negatively towards the CD crowd in general.
I don't want to be known as a man in a dress interested in a good time because I'm not a man. We don't want to be known as men in dresses looking to get our rockers off. Sorry.
So when the cd community learns to educate its own on basic manners and etiquette - and respect for others then we wouldn't have such a large rift between us.
But because CD's want to be who they are (including showing off their panties in public), and they have every right to be, they shouldn't be forced back into the closet on account of anyone including transsexuals.
I'm just not sure its always helpful having all of us lumped into one group. I guess really the only reason we do is that like me, many transsexuals explored crossdressing early on in their path.
In any case crossdressing isn't evil I don't think that is what is being said in these discussions. but there is a difference between crossdressers and transsexuals.
PS. I know there are grey areas but without black and white there would be no gray.
PPS. I'm sorry if any of this offends anyone.
edited jan 30
Okay I totally don't have my shit together. I'm just a stupid brat desperately trying to make sense of the world and unfortunately my post here was nothing short of inciteful and wrong. I'm leaving it below, unedited, because I want everyone to see how fucking stupid this is.
I almost deleted the post yesterday due to guilt. I knew I was wrong otherwise I wouldn't have added the "PPS" at the bottom of my post.
Then I read a post
perigree made this morning which opened my eyes.So if you really want to know about labels then read this instead.
Again I am sorry for any hard feelings I've caused.
be well,
Adrya
============================================================
Well I personally wouldn't use the term 'non-op' to describe crossdressers - unless they 'crossdressed' full time and considered themselves women. but then they wouldn't be crossdressers anymore. ;o)
See I once identified as a crossdresser many years ago when I was struggling to find out who I was. I no longer view myself that way because that implies many things which simply aren't true.
I think its safe to say that most crossdressers are not 'out' and as such do not experience day-to-day living hardships that transsexuals endure pre and post transition (safety, employment, ect).
M2f transsexuals do not crossdress. We are women, not men pretending (or fantasizing) to be women.
Some of us just want to distinguish this obvious (at least to many of us) difference between crossdressers and transsexuals. We don't want our experiences cheapened by people that sometimes appear similar on the outside but who have little in common on the inside.
Gender scale notwithstanding, this is something the community is going to have to learn to live with since many of us are clearly not interested in gender-fucking. We just want to be known as plain ole' women (or men if f2m), however right or wrong that is.
I know many crossdressers are mature and don't care about the sexual aspect of thier persona. One of them wrote a newsletter called Grace & Lace, and put together a book called By the Grace of God which helped me tremendously with my spiritual reconciliation. If I hated crossdressers I wouldn't have read those newsletters or book.
Many cds on the other hand are very sexual, and some are borderline predatory and have very male 'energy'.
Like with SCC.. I went to the convention to meet an aquaintence (to TALK lol) and well.. I was asked to go upstairs to wait while clothes were changed. I intended to sit in the hallway but they insisted I go inside their room. The next thing I know the aquaintence is nearly buck naked and I felt very uncomfortable, like why the hell was I asked to come up here for this. I know its bad but I felt like I was being paraded around in a meat market. I wanted to hold a sign saying "I'm not here for sex". Its lovely that the SCC con is available to CD's since it is a safe place for them to be who they are. But you see I felt like I had -nothing- in common with the guady prom dresses and sparkly wigs and dresses up to -here-.
Oh and when I first drove into the parking garage for SCC one of the cd's saw my car coming in and turned around to pick something up off the ground, showing off thier pretty little butt and I was thinking, how incredibly gross and inconsiderate.
So you see *that* is why some of us occassionally react negatively towards the CD crowd in general.
I don't want to be known as a man in a dress interested in a good time because I'm not a man. We don't want to be known as men in dresses looking to get our rockers off. Sorry.
So when the cd community learns to educate its own on basic manners and etiquette - and respect for others then we wouldn't have such a large rift between us.
But because CD's want to be who they are (including showing off their panties in public), and they have every right to be, they shouldn't be forced back into the closet on account of anyone including transsexuals.
I'm just not sure its always helpful having all of us lumped into one group. I guess really the only reason we do is that like me, many transsexuals explored crossdressing early on in their path.
In any case crossdressing isn't evil I don't think that is what is being said in these discussions. but there is a difference between crossdressers and transsexuals.
PS. I know there are grey areas but without black and white there would be no gray.
PPS. I'm sorry if any of this offends anyone.