ext_161876 (
tsdrummergurl.livejournal.com) wrote in
trans2005-03-11 12:20 am
A Must Read!!!
It's Official! I finally came out to my mom last night, and we started arguing. She started rambling on about stuff that didn't make any sense. One thing she said was, there is no way i can become a woman and still like girls. And that no girl is gonna wanna be with me. Newsflash!!! Ever heard of a Lesbian? Lesbianism also applies to mtf transsexuals. And also, she says she wants me to get help and have some tests done on my brain patterns or something like that, to see if there is some chemical imbalance that is causing me to think that i wanna be a girl and hopefully we can find a way to correct this problem. I try to tell her the only way to correct my problem is with some therapy sessions with a certified gender specialist, hormone therapy, and surgery. She asked me why I didn't come to her earlier about my GID, and i said i was just afraid and really didn't think i was mentally prepared. She then asks, "Why do you wan't to be come a girl?" I answered, It's something i have to do. I'm very unhappy, and i believe i was born with the wrong body. When i was younger, around age 6 to about 9, before i went to bed, I would constantly wish or pray to God to turn me into a girl. And now I realize that i have 2 choices. It's either come out now, or the only other option i can think of is suicide. Then she decided it was time for helpful statistic time. She was tellin' me that Teens have the highest rate of suicide, which I already knew. The second highest is "gay people". Thats how she said it. I said, " What about the Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Other transgendered people?" "Oh, I also meant them when I said gay people", she added. And yet this is the same woman who said she supports me 100%? Let's see what else mom had to say...."Do you know what happens to people like you?", she asked. The are murdered everyday. Excuse me if this sounds offensive, but, "So does that mean African-Americans and other minorities are killed every other day?" i asked her. She stood silent for a minute..... I said, "No matter what their race, religion, or sexuality is, people die everyday. Did you learn anything from those specials on The Discovery Health Cannel and The Learning Channel?" "Yeah I have seen all of them and i fully understand what you are going through", she answered. "Bullshit!!!", I yelled. So she walked back to her room. At about midnight she comes back out to the family room, and yet i am still on the computer. She says my name and gives me a hug while saying, "Always remember, that no matter what, you are my child and I will always love you. I started to cry. Well, lets skip to the next day. She was picking me up from my Culinary Arts classes and she says it is best if i don't tell any of my other friends untill we know for sure what is going on, but then she mentions that she talked to my grandma today and told her what was going on with me. Luckily shee took it well. And then my mom mentions that she told her ex bf who used to live with us, and that he took it well and also they have been talking about getting back together. She also said that he was supposed to call me around 11 pm tonight, because he wanted to talk to me. About what, I dunno and here it is now a quarter till midnight and i am sitting here typing and still no call yet. well thats all i have to say for now.
-Lates and Peace out, Adrianna :) (Oh how beautiful it sounds now, more than ever).
-Lates and Peace out, Adrianna :) (Oh how beautiful it sounds now, more than ever).