trans | pronouns

heehee, my first lj-cut! click it to read about my pronoun issues ;)

when i'm with people who understand trans issues and i tell them about my issues, they often ask me which pronouns i prefer to have people use when referring to me. that's very considerate of them and i really appreciate their asking.........BUT i don't know what to say! i mean, i tell them female because it's what i'm used to and it's what non-trans-sensitive people use for me automatically because it's obvious i'm biologically female. i don't feel like that fits me though, but i'm kinda scared to have people call me by male pronouns because i think it would freak out a lot of people. i'm thinking of just having my trans friends call me by male pronouns when we're around each other, and go back to female in public. i really don't know if i'd like to be called by male pronouns, but of course not, because i've never been called by them before, so how could i know if they fit me better or not? it's worth a shot. maybe i'll tell my new trans rap friends about that next week when i see them. gender-neutral pronouns are great, and i prefer them for internet stuff, but most people have never heard them before so i don't think they'd work for the irl world. hmmmmmmmmmm.......

(sorry for the cross-posting)