trans | Classism and Surgery

The widely held idea that a transsexual has only "changed genders" after surgery is incredibly classist. Even in the most "accepting" places, a transsexual's gender identity is not accepted until after surgery. I've been living as a woman for almost 10 years now, the only reason I haven't had surgery is that I'm poor. Does this make me any less of a woman than someone who is able to get surgery after 1 or 2 years of being out? Is a ftm transsexual who can't afford surgery any less of a man because of his lack of wealth? Why the hell is it that you have to have money to be considered who you are?