trans | (no subject)

So, I've come to a state where I can see clearly what my gender identity is, in a way that feels totally unconflicted and without question marks. It just feels relaxed and like me. I know that as far as there is a 'normal' transwoman, I am not it. I would say that I don't even identify firmly as a woman (at least not all the time). I still KNOW that I don't identify myself as a man, but I think I am going to get comfortable with the fact that I am hopelessly genderqueer. I am a crossdressing gayboy that also likes girls, as well as an outdoorsy tomboy transdyke.

I still feel like transitioning. I know I'm going to be transgressing whatever gender boxes I try to put myself in, but I feel like I want my "home base" to be in girl-land. Though if I didn't, I'd be saving a lot of money, but that's still the only reason that I would stop transition.

I'm not getting SRS.

I'm not even sure that I mind being called Ryan too much. At least sometimes.

That's where I'm at right now. Just felt like sharing.