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tgjerusalem.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
trans2006-09-18 10:11 pm
tgjerusalem.livejournal.com) wrote in trans2006-09-18 10:11 pm
how do you respond to this?
I recently got into an argument on a public message board, after one guy posted that if he ever found out he'd had sex with or even kissed a transwoman, he would severely beat her and she would deserve it. Of the people who responded, a few were outraged/disgusted, many were of a general "well, I can't understand, but beating people is bad..." sentiment, and maybe 1/4 agreed.
How the hell do I respond to shit like that?
And some of them weren't ranting trolls, either. They just calmly, sincerely explained that in their minds if they are "deceived" into having sexual or pre-sexual (kissing, flirting, etc) interaction with someone who is "really a man," they have been "violated" and that person brought any consequences suffered upon themselves. Anything short of actual murder appeared to be considered a fair response.
This started because the original poster had been attracted to a woman at work, and had considered flirting with her until discovering she was trans. Had things progressed to even the casual work-flirting stage, he said he would have broken her ribs. I don't know how much of this was idiotic bravado or what he was actually capable of, but the sentiment seemed sincere.
I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of changing his opinion on the matter, but there were a lot of undecided people around who had the same initial reaction but who had at least enough empathy to feel bad for someone who gets beaten, and who could potentially be made genuinly sympathetic if they understood the realistic situation and human experience of these women.
But it's a message board, anything longer than a paragraph won't hold their attention, and I'm up against people who put forward an absolute, "Chromosomes don't lie, I don't care if you want to wear a dress and cut your dick off, that's your business, but I'm a straight man and I've got a right to know if the person I'm considering getting it on with is really a man, and if you don't tell me up front you've wronged me and I'm going to punish you for it" schtick. Most people buy this. I don't know how to explain why it's wrong fast enough that they'll read it all.
How the hell do I respond to shit like that?
And some of them weren't ranting trolls, either. They just calmly, sincerely explained that in their minds if they are "deceived" into having sexual or pre-sexual (kissing, flirting, etc) interaction with someone who is "really a man," they have been "violated" and that person brought any consequences suffered upon themselves. Anything short of actual murder appeared to be considered a fair response.
This started because the original poster had been attracted to a woman at work, and had considered flirting with her until discovering she was trans. Had things progressed to even the casual work-flirting stage, he said he would have broken her ribs. I don't know how much of this was idiotic bravado or what he was actually capable of, but the sentiment seemed sincere.
I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of changing his opinion on the matter, but there were a lot of undecided people around who had the same initial reaction but who had at least enough empathy to feel bad for someone who gets beaten, and who could potentially be made genuinly sympathetic if they understood the realistic situation and human experience of these women.
But it's a message board, anything longer than a paragraph won't hold their attention, and I'm up against people who put forward an absolute, "Chromosomes don't lie, I don't care if you want to wear a dress and cut your dick off, that's your business, but I'm a straight man and I've got a right to know if the person I'm considering getting it on with is really a man, and if you don't tell me up front you've wronged me and I'm going to punish you for it" schtick. Most people buy this. I don't know how to explain why it's wrong fast enough that they'll read it all.