Transgender Community

Welcome!

2037-01-01T00:00:00Z

Posted by: ftmichael.livejournal.com

Welcome to transgender! Please read the tags and memories before posting questions, as your question may well have been answered already.

(This post is a permanent work in progress.)
( Other communities you may find useful )

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Critique wanted on trans* fic

2012-12-23T06:03:00Z

Posted by: percygranger

Thanks to the mods for approving this. I have an unusual request for this comm, as far as I can tell, and would appreciate any help you can offer!

I am currently helping a friend of mine write a fanfiction story (Sherlock BBC fandom) that involves a character who is ftm. The story is for an exchange, so the identity of the author must be kept secret until it is released by the comm mods.

We're wanting a critique by at least one person (more would be wonderful) who is familiar with transgender issues, and can tell us whether or not the story/character interactions ring true to them. It would be great, but not necessary, if volunteers are a) familiar with/like fanfiction, preferably Sherlock, and b) can critique coherently.

We basically want insiders' perspectives to make sure we're treating the subject with the sensitivity it deserves. This is the first time either of us have written a trans* character. We've done some research, but it's hard to get the specific answers we need from general overviews and such.

The basics of the story: It's currently a WiP, and it's shorter: 2,500 words, mostly likely to end up around 4,000. It is male/male/male slash (yes, there is a threesome). There are some minor d/s themes. It needs to be turned in by the 29th of December, so there is a limited time frame for volunteers.

Please message me if you're interested. Or if you want to leave some advice in comments, please feel free to do so!

Thank you for your time!

Edit: So many responses! Thank you all for volunteering.

Edit the 2nd: I have no idea whether people are tracking this post, but I thought I might as well place it here. The story is up! You can find it here: http://sesa.zvilikestv.net/2012/, the title is The Shape of You.

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Boundaries

2011-07-12T15:25:00Z

Posted by: marshwiggledyke.livejournal.com

Sorry, I'm really really a huge noob to all of this. Hallo!

I've recently come out myself as FTM, pre-everything, and have told my friends, who have mostly been really accepting. My parents have not been at all supportive, and I've been living away from home for about three months because of this.

My concern is that I want to be as much of a respectful, enlightened man as possible, but due to spending most of my childhood and adolescence on my own (it's complicated), I have a horrific understanding of social boundaries and knowing what is okay and what isn't. And now that I'm ID-ing as male, I'm getting called on some behavior that was previously okay coming from a butch dyke.

For example, a long-term friend who I've been on lots of road trips with, and have consequently shared a hotel bed with, recently told me that she's no longer comfortable sharing a bed with me, because I was male and she female. I'd never ever thought that our relationship would need a few extra rules because of the FTM thing, but now I'm thinking about it, and thinking about it hard. There's probably a lot of female spaces that I enjoyed that are no longer welcome to me (which is a little saddening, because I've had a lot of fond memories of the lesbian dive in my town) but I just don't want to be an asshole and fuck up my relationships with my female friends (or annoy female strangers, for that matter).

Are there any boundaries other FTMs could advise me on- stories of problems you've specifically run into when negotiating gender dynamics? For that matter, are there any women who would advise me on the kinds of faux pas you abhor in men, so I can not make them? Thank you.

I don't use the gents because I don't pass very well and it's not safe, but I really try not to use the women's unless it is an absolute emergency. :( It feels disrespectful.

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MtF Transition Guide for Doctors?

2011-06-02T03:09:00Z

Posted by: charlie-ihsan.livejournal.com

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Nick Gorton Medical Therapy etc for transgender men book.

It's accessible to a general audience, but it's also VERY useful to doctors.

Is there ANYTHING like this available for MtF Medical professionals? I'm seeing a new NP on the 9th and if I can give her both then it'd be great. She supposedly already sees trans patients, but I'm going to try and get them to start doing hormone replacement therapy for trans folks.

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Educating a friend

2010-11-29T00:04:00Z

Posted by: escherzo.livejournal.com

So, someone I know has posted a few times about a "tranny party" themed college party she went to. I have yet to think of any response to it but I feel like I should say something because a. it's making me kind of uncomfortable and b. "tranny party"? really not okay.

Any advice on how to explain exactly what the problem is there without coming off as rude? I'm not sure quite how to approach it.

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A plea, if you will

2010-11-24T21:41:00Z

Posted by: cykotyks.livejournal.com

Hey all! I've got a bit of a story (that gets a little ranty) and a related request.

( First, the story. )

My request is this: based on the things she's worried about ("knowing" and HRT, mainly), does anybody have...
A) Any bookmarks or links to reliable studies and information on these subjects?
B) Any tips for my own Googling - what I should look for and avoid?

His mother is very science-minded and I think might believe anything that a study tells her is true. Hard facts and extensive research studies are ideal, but I've no clue where to start looking for all this. We're hoping that if we can give her enough information, enough reason for her to believe that we're serious about this, that she'll stop pestering us about it and may actually help out. Anything available on the internet is also ideal, as we don't have a lot of resources for other things, but book titles may also work, since I can pass them along as recommended reading.

Any help at all is appreciated, and thanks for sitting through all this!

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Looking for Reflections

2010-10-29T19:33:00Z

Posted by: jewels23.livejournal.com

Hi everyone. I am writing on behalf of my campus queer organization which is trying to improve trans awareness. One of the ways we are attempting this is by having some experiences cis people can reflect on to better understand transphobia, cis sexism/centrism and, in general, what life is like for trans people. This strategy was used, previously, to get straight people to think of things like how annoying it is when people assume your straight forcing you to always explain your queer or how would you feel if you were being told your relationship was somehow less valid and less deserving of legal recognition for no reason. We are hoping to get some diverse experiences and opinions from the trans community so if you have any ideas it would be appreciated.

The current ideas we have been given include:
"Think about what it's like for trans people in the gym. They may worry about others hostilities especially when there may not be a policy allowing them access to appropriate facilities. Also think how you would feel if you were in the process of transition and told to use the opposite sex change room, would you feel safe there if your presented as and had characteristics of the opposite gender and how insulting would that be to your identity?"
"How would you feel if every time you went to the washroom you had to be worried about people complaining about you, insulting your identity and saying you did not belong?"
"Think about how you would feel about accessing health care when your trans. You may have to worry about a doctors transphobia, worst of all when accessing emergency services. The doctor may be more fixated on your trans status rather than what medical problem is being presented or they may outright refuse or delay treatment."
"How would you like to have people always ask about your genitals and medical histories (what surgeries you had, what medicine are you taking)?"
"How would you feel about applying for a dorm that is sex segregated if you were trans? What if administration only allowed you in the dorm of your sex assigned at birth? And what if you identified outside the gender binary, would you be comfortable in a highly gendered environment?"

I will also apologize now if I am being to invasive, inappropriate by asking this in your space or if I am being unfair asking for you to educate me on your trans experiences. It was only my intention to get more experiences in order to help others understand trans people better.

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Documentaries on transgender people.

2010-08-22T14:47:00Z

Posted by: pyxylover.livejournal.com

I'm a pretty active member in PFLAG and a few other equality based organizations. In most of these organizations, I am the only trans person there. Often I feel left out because the main topic of discussion is gay or lesbian issues. I have stayed for two reasons. 1 is they are very accepting and supportive. 2 is to slowly educate them on what it's like to be trans and to educate them on how things can be different for people like us. I have really opened the eyes of many, but have much work ahead of me with the rest of them. As I sit in a meeting this Saturday watching another documentary on gay youth......I was thinking the whole time how nice it would be to watch a documentary on trans people and the troubles they face. Does anyone out there know of any good ones? I've added a few books to our library already, but I don't know that many people in the group check them out. But will also take suggestions for those too. So far I have found that just being an active part of these people's lives and letting them watch me grow and deal with my own issues has been the best way of educating them, but at least for once I would like for us to watch a movie that sheds some light on what it's like to grow up trans.

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Looking for common myths

2010-08-09T21:30:00Z

Posted by: ragetti-wench.livejournal.com

I plan on doing a short 20-30 minute presentation on transgendered people for my Minorities class and I'm looking for common myths to debunk about transgendered people, whether on the whole, or specific to MtF's or FtM's (I do not at all mean to insinuate that I'm not including MtN's and FtN's, but this is a short presentation and I was forced to narrow my focus).

So far, I have already addressed these topics:

Aren't Transpeople just Transvestites?
Are All Transpeople Gay?
Do You Wake Up One Day Knowing You're Trans?
Are All Transmen Butch/ Transwomen Overtly Feminine?

I'd be glad for any other topics. This project isn't due for a month or so, but I'd like to take my time with it.

X-posted to ftm

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Educating the ignorant on Trans issues.

2010-05-16T17:35:00Z

Posted by: zoeyprncs.livejournal.com

So, I've been spending this week sharing my "live all, tell all," approach to those probing and often intrusive questions asked of transsexuals. I must humbly admit I was wrong, let me explain.

I have been reading "She's Not There: A Life In Two Genders," by Jennifer Finney Boylan. I finished it this afternoon, and among the many powerful thoughts she shares in the book one has brought relevance to this subject and a change of heart. She writes:

"I no longer hope that everyone will be able to understand what this condition is about. It seems to elude an accurate description......the way in which we can become obsessed with clearing our good name even after our innocence has been established. It is a very human impulse, but it's ultimately fraught with peril. The more we feel compelled to keep explaining ourselves, the less like other we become......In the end, the best thing seemed to be to keep my head high, to maintain a sense of humor, and to be forgiving (Boylan, 2003, pg 250)."

I've realized I'm more a cliche than I thought, and all I have left to do is laugh at myself. That and stop badgering those close to me, constantly checking to make sure, "they're ok with me," or "do they understand?" I just have to be content with being me, and let other have their way with their opinions.

My mildly amusing afternoon on a Sunday.

Zoey

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"Courageous?" "Brave?"

2009-11-12T23:18:00Z

Posted by: samuelocean.livejournal.com

I was wondering if anyone else has ever been approached by people who found out about their trans status and proceeded to go on about how courageous and brave they are, and whatnot. I was just wondering how it makes others feel.

I have been told this numerous times, even by other transpeople. Some of it has to do with my age and where I live (in a religious and military city), I know, but still. "It takes a very brave/courageous/whatever person to do what you're doing." Uhm, no. It takes money, research, and a decent set of doctors/therapists who know how to operate under the radar of the insurance company. It's courageous to be willing to go overseas and risk death following orders/fighting a war you may not believe in, for the greater good.

It bugs me. Because I'm doing what I need to do. I don't think I'm brave or courageous. If anything, I'm rather socially awkward and cowardly, as I tend to live under the radar. I transferred to a new highschool last year where the vast majority of students knew me as female in middle school. I denied knowing what they were talking about and insisted that "Dude. My name is Tobias. Do I -really- look that much like a girl? o___O" and just went on the hope that they wouldn't really recognize me after four years. Same thing in my college classes this year, where I run into students from both of the highschools I attended.

I just... feel almost like it's rather patronizing. And it just makes things rather awkward. I mean, what do you say to that? "Thanks; I'm the new Batman."? Great hells, the way I see it, I either transition or kill myself. It's like cancer. You either treat it and hope for the best, or you give up and die. Not much courage or bravery there.

I dunno. This is just one of those things that have been bugging me for a while. What do you guys think?

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What would you say to these people?

2008-02-25T00:36:00Z

Posted by: ardynm.livejournal.com

Hey everyone. I'm here to ask for some advice.

( I'm a TA at a community college and I've been asked by a professor who's teaching a psychology of minorities class to come speak to her students. )

I did want some input on this, though. I have 'till Wednesday to come up with the mini-lecture, so I figured I'd ask the question... If you could talk to a group of community college students, what would you like to teach them?

Hope to hear some comments.

Ardyn.

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Becoming an ally

2008-02-19T21:23:00Z

Posted by: sparklesgrrl.livejournal.com

I'm not trans, but I have several friends who are, including one of my best friends, who's a trans guy.

I'm the president of the GSA at my high school, and we're looking into doing more work with trans issues.

Any suggestions on how to be a good "ally"? Any activities I can do with my group?

Thanks.

Peace,
Sparks

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Speaker for educating employees about transgendered co-workers?

2008-02-05T19:47:00Z

Posted by: casey526.livejournal.com

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for anyone who has had a speaker come into their company and educate the employees about transgender issues in the work place. I found a page on tgender.net listing speakers, but would like a referral for a really good speaker to possibly come into my company and speak to my co-workers.

Any information would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks much,

Casey

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trans @ 2008-01-25T22:00:00

2008-01-25T22:00:00Z

Posted by: legendline.livejournal.com

Hey folks,
I have a presentation to give next week for an upper-division women's studies class. Six of us are facilitating an article, which talks about specific cases of trans* people who have married and then seperated, and the legal decisions in each case (most of which, sadly, were to anull the marriages as same-sex marriages on the basis of the trans persons assigned gender. huge sigh).

Anyway, part of my portion of the presentation is to give everyone a basis for language use during this talk. I don't want to make the mistake of going off only my own experiences or preferences, so thought I'd ask here what kinds of information people think should be covered.

I am avoiding Trans-101 type info (basically, avoiding things about how to talk TO a trans person) because that's not in the scope of the article or discussion; but I was going to put a link or two to a good Trans 101-type website on the handout, just in case anyone has any questions about that sort of thing. Anyone have any good websites for that?

The info I'm really looking for and will be mostly covering in my 2-minute intro and on my handout is how to talk ABOUT trans people. I'll put some definitions on the handout, such as ftm, mtf, transgender, transsexual, etc. I'm interested to know what other people think is important in facilitating an open, academic converstation like this? Any links to websites I where I can find more info on respectful converstation, etc?

edited for extra punctuation removal

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heterocentric medical questionaire

2007-11-26T16:04:00Z

Posted by: jjblue.livejournal.com

I am going to a gyn/pelvic reconstruction specialist for a consult on some gyn problems. They sent me a questionaire in the mail. Among the questions: Have you had sexual intercourse in the last month? Does your partner have any erectile dysfunction that is affecting your relationship?

Hello, heterocentric much? How do I answer as a non-penetrative partner with a transguy mate?

It really bothers me that this questionaire basically assumes that patients are in heterosexual relationships, or seeking heterosexual sex. Why can't they have a line that asks patient to describe their typical sexual practices? Or say sexual contact rather than sexual intercourse?

There HAS to be a way to better word medical questionaires like this, rather than requiring those of us who aren't hetero to use half-truths, explanations, or no-but/yes-but answers.

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trans @ 2007-07-17T21:48:00

2007-07-17T21:48:00Z

Posted by: octogoggle.livejournal.com

I'm a third grade teacher. My school has a no-blogging policy regarding work issues, so I made this LJ just now to protect my regular LJ. Please don't think I'm a troll.

I had a short faculty meeting today and my supervisor pulled me aside to tell me that in my class this fall there is going to be a transgendered boy this coming year (is that correct, 'transgendered boy'? She is male but identifies as female.) Her family has apparently had trouble with this in previous schools, and she is starting new at my school to "start fresh" - she'd had trouble with dressing as a female and such before and had some problems with bullying (and depression related to being transgendered ).

I'm not sure why my boss decided to "warn" me but she did say she placed the kid in my class because the other teachers in my grade are much older and much more conservative (I'm in my 20's). I'm still a bit of a rookie teacher - and I'm not sure how common this is.

Anyway - I get to meet the kid and her parents in August ,but aside from using her chosen pronouns and nickname I'm not sure what else I can do to be sensitive to this kid. I really don't want to make a total ass of myself, especially since its her big chance to have a fresh start at a new school, which I think is great. Like I mentioned, she's had a lot of problems with depression and body image issues (no specifics from what my boss had to tell me today) and dressing and acting as she wanted has markedly improved her mental state, though doing it at her old school where everyone knew her as a little boy was tough.

Do you think the kid and her parents will want to tell the class right away, explain it in kid-friendly terms? Keep it a secret? What suggestions or help could I offer? Barring outright "special treatment", what is there to do to make the kid and her parents comfortable and happy (besides, of course, being the best third grade teacher ever ;P )

Thank you all so much in advance for any advice, and please forgive me any ignorance I may have. I really hope I can learn a bit more before I get to meet my new student.

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Dumb Trans Questions

2007-06-11T22:40:00Z

Posted by: bipedalmammal.livejournal.com

What is the dumbest and/or most insensitive question you've been asked about your trans experience or trans identity? I'm writing material for a performance and I'm compiling my own list and could use some other good examples.

Thanks!

cross-posted

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trans @ 2007-06-08T10:38:00

2007-06-08T10:38:00Z

Posted by: biofucked.livejournal.com

Hey everyone.

it's been forever and a day since I've posted in here, but I really need some help.

I'm planning on writing an article on transgenderism for a website I am a member of, and to have it put into our "Read" section amongst other articles and interviews, etc.

As a transperson, I've had some difficulties over there with a few individuals being ignorant about trans-issues, or choosing to be hateful. With what I plan to write, I simply want to be informative and professional about it, so as to give some people some education about Transgenderism, and what it's like to be transgendered. I don't want to be rude, condescending, or demanding about it. I just want to give some information to a few people so that perhaps they can try to work on their pre-determined prejudices.

Though links and resources are helpful, I've worn those out and am now looking for personal accounts, thoughts, and objectives.

So, on a personal level, if you were to tell a group of people who think/assume transgendered people are fakers, or wannabes, or whatever...

-What would you want them to know and understand about what transgenderism is?
-What is it like to live as a trans-person?
-How would you explain transgenderism to a person who's never heard of such a thing, or is rather closed off to the idea of it?
-What, do you think, are the basic things to be covered when telling someone about transgenderism?

Any, and all opinions, thoughts, experiences welcome and anticipated.

EDIT: Feel free to comment here, or email to kingsedition@gmail.com

Thanks so much,

-Eastyn
x-posted.

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asking questions

2007-01-02T20:20:00Z

Posted by: jjblue.livejournal.com

How do you feel about people asking questions (not about surgery or sex) of transpeople (like questions about life experience, when they knew, what their friends/family think)? Are there certain questions you won't answer?

And if your answer is "it depends", what kind of questions/people would you answer?

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Trans Respect/Etiquette/Support 101

2006-11-16T20:35:00Z

Posted by: ftmichael.livejournal.com

Trans Respect/Etiquette/Support 101
by Micah Bazant (updated from from TimTum: A Trans Jew Zine)
Copyright Micah Bazant, 2006

Please use widely
Add and subtract from this document as needed
Please acknowledge this source
Please send suggestions, feedback, etc to info@timtum.org.
( Read more... )

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Introduction to SGO

2006-11-05T20:53:00Z

Posted by: cosxoverx.livejournal.com

I wrote this for my own personal amusement, but I'm thinking about distributing it through my college's LGBT center for their upcoming Transgender Week:

http://www.kreativekorp.com/miscpages/gender/SGO.pdf

I want as much input as possible, so that the definitions are as accurate as they can be. I'll take any suggestions for changes, clarifications, additional terms, or whatever.

Cross-posted to _queer_teens_, genderqueer, transgender, and transyouth.

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Policies at College/University

2006-02-27T11:40:00Z

Posted by: pirate-poet.livejournal.com

A task force was recently formed at my school to address and evaluate the campus in terms of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, qiestioning, and intersex issues. I'm one of the student members of the task force (it's a mix of largely undergrad students, staff, and faculty). I'm also the only transperson on the task force.

I was placed into a sub-committee specifically evaluating policies and their inclusivity or lack thereof; we are to write recomendations for change to make the policies more inclusive of GLBTQI people.

I wanted to know what policies you can think of at a university that can be looked at? I am having trouble thinking of some.

Obviousally, the anti-discrimination policy... but I'm not sure of what else to look at... I'm thinking of the student/staff health insurance policy, bathrooms... but what else?

Thanks in advance.

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List of non-trans privilege?

2005-10-23T16:01:00Z

Posted by: pirate-poet.livejournal.com

I am having trouble finding the "List of Non-Trans Privilege". I was hoping of someone had a copy of it, they could post it here or send a link. The website at which I used to find it (http://ftmichael.tashari.org/transgender.html) is down.

Thanks.

Edit:

Nevermind. I found it relocated here: http://nbtsc.org/~ftmichael/privilege.html

Sorry to have bothered you all!

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GLBTQIA Books for School and Public Libraries?

2005-08-20T11:37:00Z

Posted by: pirate-poet.livejournal.com

I'm making a list of recommended GLBTQIA (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, ally) books to have in an elementary school library, a middle school library, a high school library, and a public library... what books do you recommend for these various libraries?

I'm specifically having trouble finding "age-appropriate" books for elementary and middle-schoolers... but any input and any book suggestions are welcome; just tell me what sort of libraries you think they're good for.

(Please let me know if you've read the books you're recommending).

Thank you.

x-posted

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