Transgender Community

Welcome!

Thu, 01 Jan 2037 00:00:00 GMT

Posted by: ftmichael.livejournal.com

Welcome to transgender! Please read the tags and memories before posting questions, as your question may well have been answered already.

(This post is a permanent work in progress.)
( Other communities you may find useful )

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Thu, 24 May 2012 16:31:00 GMT

Posted by: kshea333.livejournal.com

Hi all,
I've posted here recently about considering going by a more gender neutral name that can be read either way, and I've slowly started telling close friends and understanding family members about it, which has been helpful and I'm feeling mostly good about this decision. I feel like I already know the answer to these questions, but I wanted to ask them anyway even just to get some validation/support.

1) After you started going by a different name, did it take a while to get used to it, or were you sad about letting go of your birth name?
( more )

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Hallo!

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 16:14:00 GMT

Posted by: wasispeeding.livejournal.com

No idea what I'm doing but gotta start somewhere I suppose. Someone suggested the LJ trans community to me so I figured I'd check it out. I have no idea what to do on a blog/live journal/whatever, as I've never written one. So I just sat down and started writing. Planning on writing more about myself, and on darker and brighter subjects.

A little over an hour later I came out of a manic daze and realized it looked like a short, dark novella. xD It's here if anyone wants to read it. http://wasispeeding.livejournal.com/

Anyways, hi!

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[controversial] on transmisogyny and male privilege

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 16:59:00 GMT

Posted by: aaskew.livejournal.com

(apologies in advance because this possibly comes across as a 'what about the menz? :(' post. I've tried my best not to make it so, but this is a topic I'd like to discuss further)

Julia Serano coined the term 'transmisogyny' to describe the intersecting oppressions of transphobia and misogyny experienced by trans women, but what about how these two affect trans men? For instance, if someone condescendingly tells a trans man, "silly girl, you think you can be a man? :P" it would seem to likewise involve both transphobia and misogyny, but in a different form from that which affects trans women.

( continued )

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[Controversial] What identities are identifying that way "sufficient" for?

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 20:09:00 GMT

Posted by: sissy-bloke.livejournal.com

I would guess that lots of us would agree that someone is whatever gender they say they are, but what kinds of identities is that logic suitable for?

Someone claiming "I am a cat-lover" would probably be pretty uncontroversially accepted as a cat lover.

Whereas a lot of people would balk at agreeing that someone who says "I am a pineapple" is indeed a pineapple. (Obviously I'm using a silly example, somewhat less silly ones to follow.)

What is it that makes one identity true by virtue of claiming it and one unclaimable?

( What about the following examples? )
Edited to add "controversial" tag and to clarify that I am not trying to say that someone claiming any of the above examples cannot actually be what they claim - some of those claims may be perfectly valid and I'm trying to tease out what makes an axis of identification something that is based on what a person says and what doesn't.

Edited to change my original examples. I tried to use examples that would prompt discussion, but I realised belatedly and thanks to some commenters that they would probably prompt discussion about things that were unrelated to my original question and had the potential to cause shit-storms, for which I apologise. I hope the examples I've used now are less controversial, but please pick me up if I've mis-stepped.

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Hormones and Feelings.

Mon, 05 Sep 2011 21:41:00 GMT

Posted by: trailrat.livejournal.com

Two weeks ago I was told that I could increase my hormone (estrogen) regime from 2mg daily to 4mg. I was also informed that because my T level was already on the low side of average that they wouldn't be considering a T-blocker until they see how the increase has affected me at my next appointment. They told me this because I asked.

Anyway, quickly became apparent that the increase screwed around with my already fragile hold on my emotional state when I took them in the morning, so I started taking them in the evening.

This leads me to ask, is there a good time or bad time of day to take your hormones?

I was told that I could take them spread out over the day, 2mg in the morning and 2mg in the evening but I'm no good at consistency and I know I'll either OD or forget. I was told there was no risks takng the 4mg all at once so that is what I have been doing.

And this leads me on to what I believe may be a result of the increase. I sure hope so because I can't relate it to anything else.

The past week has been strange. I have all the symptons of a depressed like state yet I feel no depression. I do not want leave my flat, nor my bed for that matter. I don't think I have had a proper meal in days and certainly not a consistent meal structure any way. Normally, I see eating as an inconvience of my time. A necessity of survival and a continuation of living. But lately even that instinct of having to eat to survive has dwindled. I feel no hunger neither. (I may have blogged about that on my personal page at some point)
Also things feel shifted slightly, out of phase with reality. Things seem sharper, brighter and a little unreal. Things feel intangible to the touch sometimes. Sounds sound louder, I have had to remove batteries from the clocks in all the rooms because the ticking was driving me mad. Even my heart and my breathing feel loud! I know I have read two books too, because they sit at the side of my bed but I don't remember doing so.

I feel like I should be worried by it all but to be honest, I feel care free. I feel weightless and liberated from mortal boundries. And that too should concern me.

I really don't know what to make of it all.

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<- Doesn't know how to use a journal.

Fri, 02 Sep 2011 07:06:00 GMT

Posted by: artemissuicide.livejournal.com

Things have slowed down lately, not in any physical, or emotional sense- things just seem to have more time to get sorted out into a way that makes sense.

From the moment I was born, and even now; my mother has always wanted a little girl. I tried to appease her, really I did... But fact of the matter is, while I may look as real as any girl; I am a boy, and gay as gay can be... Mostly. I don't really know what I am internally, I know I have all the wrong parts, but am content in keeping the few that I have come across. I guess I am a conundrum, whatever.

I have been trying lately to find peace within myself, trying to work with what tools I have been given, and find a sense of what normal means- how I feel when I am 'normal' to me, and what that looks like to the outside world... I am filled with a million questions though. It is easy to label yourself as something, finding other people that fit the label is the hard part. I was wondering if feeling this misplaced has a cure- if there is anywhere to go, or things to do to just be?

This whole cross-gender thing, it fits, but it's never something I've talked to anyone but my mom about... So now I'm kinda lost, I thought posting here might help...

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Can a trans person reclaim WBW?

Thu, 21 Jul 2011 07:53:00 GMT

Posted by: rebeccasf.livejournal.com

Here's an excellent response to the WBW t-shirt thing from last week. Ida even makes a case for trans womyn reclaiming WBW based on its origins.

http://livingequitably.org/content/100-wbw-0

Unfortunately, I won't be able to participate in this discussion as I'm leaving for Camp Trans in Michigan later this evening and won't return until Aug 1st. But I wanted to throw this up for others who are interested in this topic and breaking down cis only spaces.

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Passing.

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 13:20:00 GMT

Posted by: anakhe.livejournal.com

Well, this is the first time I've posted on here.. My name is Kélen, and I feel genderless, in a way. Over the past six months, I've transformed from wearing somewhat girly clothes to a more masculine look. When I was dating, I was trying my hardest to look like a guy, and had full intentions on going on hormones and getting surgery. But my partner and I have since broken up and I was too numb to care about how I looked. I stopped binding, I stopped wearing the clothes I'd gotten with my ex and stopped binding. (Apparently I don't even need to bind because I'm about 34 A?). I found it was just causing a lot of breathing problems than making me look male. Then again, I was simply using tensor bandages (Never again!).
However, ever since I stopped "trying" to look male, I get pegged more as a guy than at that time. And I just feel a lot better about myself now than then. It's almost as if the "trying" made me stand out because I wasn't being myself, really. I had this weird fake confidence about me that apparently sit right with people. But now, even with breasts, I get called "dude" or "buddy" waaaaay more than I did then. When I do, I lower my voice just a bit. But I think my voice is fine enough as it is.
I think what it was was the little female part of me was just being abandoned and I wasn't myself. I was trying to ignore her and let the male out. Which is what I needed, in a way, but I could have gone about it differently. Thus, those were learning experiences. I feel a lot more myself by just leaving people up to interpreting me as they want. I won't deny I have a female body, but I won't deny that part of me, if not most of me is male.
I just thought I'd share my experience with people since others have posted their own which are most helpful ^ ^

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hello

Sun, 01 May 2011 19:34:00 GMT

Posted by: ezraiam.livejournal.com

hey there, i'm ezra, at least on here. i just made this account mostly so i could talk to all you people out there in the trans* community who have had experience with this kind of thing!
so here's the deal...
i'm 19, and have been out as a lesbian for about two years, but i knew way before that i fancied girls. they're just... entrancing. anywho, i just started college and being away from home and friends who have known me since i was 6 has made me question how comfortable i am as a "girl". when i was 8, i prayed to not grow breasts and most of my friends were boys. since then, i buried those feelings. now all year i've been questioning whether i want to live my life as a woman, or as an ftm. i know there's a way to live in between, but honestly that road really does not appeal to me. it seems too vague, for lack of a better explanation and i'm not a vague person. some days i wake up and i've got myself so convinced that i should come out as trans, but then the next day i can't even contemplate being a man full time but the thought of growing up into a woman scares me too.
i want to decide if i'm trans or not, because waking up every day trying to decide which pronoun to use in my head is driving me crazy. i know i didn't do a very good job explaining my mental situation, but i would really appreciate any help.
thanks again!
ezra

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Gender neutral pronouns-- is that all there is?

Sun, 07 Nov 2010 19:03:00 GMT

Posted by: gleek-boy.livejournal.com

We are all aware of gender neutral alternatives to the he/she pronouns, but it's recently occured to me that that's about as far as it goes in terms of referring to someone in a gender neutral form.

It occured to me when recently asked if I have a boyfriend or girlfriend by an acquaintance. I wanted to respond "oh I don't know, depends how my partner is feeling today!" but I didn't want to baffle that person. I tend to just refer to my partner as such, but I was wondering, are there any gender neutral words you like to use when referring to your partners who may not wish to be called "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"?

Similarly, as an FtM more on the GQ side I've been thinking a lot about family names recently. More specifically, words such as "brother", "sister", "mother", "father", "husband", "wife" etc etc, and what some gender neutral alternatives might be. I definitely want kids in the future, and whilst at present I wouldn't mind being called "dad", I would prefer something less gender specific.

Does anyone have any original or favourite gender neutral words that they'd like to share?

x- posted

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feeling pink - remembering feeling like a girl

Wed, 13 Oct 2010 12:11:00 GMT

Posted by: butter-n-sugar.livejournal.com

the other day while packing up our house to move, i was thinking about being a kid and also about the color pink and it's associations with femininity.

without prompting or pushing....i had this flash memory of being a young kid like 5 or 6 or 7, and i was looking at something pink and there was a smell (like candy) and a feeling of being connected to that pinkness somehow...it feels weird to have this memory of maybe the last time I ever really "felt" like a little girl, rather than felt just like a kid. idk, maybe i'm reading too much into it, it was just a feeling....but it stood out to me.

also, in looking through most of my school photos from childhood, i see that i really did look like a little dude....all the way along....(until puberty that is). i feel confident to say that the gender i am was likely there all along, i just didn't know how or who to be.

now that i have done the medical/social transition part i do feel more comfortable and confident but i am so curious about how i got to this place.

also....i have been invited to be in a riot grrrl cover band by a musician friend of mine. at first i just answered yes to her query without even thinking....now i wonder why she wanted to invite a guy to be in her grrrrl band. is it just a case of me being a "safe"/"acceptable" kind of guy? am i reading too much into it?

i do wish i didn't have to think of those things, but as a trans guy interacting with a lot of dykes/lesbians it does get me to thinking. i'm even thinking of bringing it up with her in order to get some clarity...

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Being pretty out but not wanting to be seenas trans, or something like that

Thu, 09 Sep 2010 03:05:00 GMT

Posted by: ellyrouge.livejournal.com

Okay, that might seem a weird issue, but it really buggers me at this time.

Here's my situation: ( details )I don't want to be completely stealth but I don't want people to out me either, and I have the impression that it's just some impossible thing to ask, and it's depressing me because I sometimes have the impression that there are things that will require me to cut myself off of my current friends and my current life if I want to experience them.

I don't know if other people have gone through similar stuff, but I would love to have some advice because I really feel torn apart and don't know what to thing anymore.

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Oh Vanity

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 14:29:00 GMT

Posted by: thequeerbitch.livejournal.com

I apologize if this post seems irrelevant or something.. I just need to get it off my chest.

( Feeling unattractive as a male. )

And to anyone who read and commented on my last post here, thanks a lot. I introduced myself to my teacher and my classmates as Nate and it went over really well. One person asked me why and I calmly explained I am transgendered and identify as male, her response was "That's cool." haha. All that anxiety for nothing ;p

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beyond trans?

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 20:54:00 GMT

Posted by: butter-n-sugar.livejournal.com

The other day I was thinking about my status as a person who is sometimes stealth and sometimes not. And it got me to thinking about the way transgender is such a complicated word with so many layered meanings. And i came away thinking that i felt like medical and mental transition had allowed me to change my gender and that maybe I didn't need to use "trans" as part of my identity anymore. As a person who is not trying to live in the in-between space , who is not andro , who is solidly male in the world and in my mind being transgender only makes sense when I relate myself back to the dyke community.

that's when i bumped up against what is (for me) the most difficult part of this process. Now that I have been living as male for 10+ years and passing 100% for 3+ I want people (especially women and dykes) to treat me as a man and to some how magically forget that i was ever anything other than who i am now. i know that i can not change their actual though process and nothing that they do is ever threatening or even upsetting, it's just that i can sense that they are still holding on to that older outdated image/idea of who i am. I don't think there is a solution for this problem,since it's mostly an internal process for me but it does give me things to think about.

i feel so at home in this male-ness, it makes me wonder was i always male internally just experiencing the world as a person who is being perceived as female?

ya i'm just a bit introspective.... :)

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A conversation at work

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 15:26:00 GMT

Posted by: halfbloodme.livejournal.com

I work as a teaching assistant at a primary school and today was our last day before the holidays. When out on the extra long playtime after assembly, one of the kids in year 3 came up to me and gave me a hug, nothing unusual there until said kid and their sister who is in year 5 started having a conversation.

Sister: I like that Miss Emery is a girl, she's very huggy.
Me in thought: I'm not a girl but we won't go into that now.
Kid: Why do you say Miss Emery is a girl. She could be a boy like me.
Me in thought: Not a boy either but thank you.
Sister: You're a GIRL. Your name is Caitlin*.
Kid: No I'm a boy.
Sister: Mum says you're a girl, you have the same bits I do, you're a girl. Yeah you're a tomboy, but you're a girl.
Kid: Dad calls me Charlie and I like Charlie better. I'm NOT a girl.
Sister: Mum says Dad is an idiot for agreeing to call you Charlie*.
Kid: When I turn 11 I'm moving in with Dad.
Me: Come on now kids, lets try and enjoy the last day of the school year and not argue.
Sister: Miss, will you tell Caitlin she's a girl?
Me (whilst trying to remain neutral and not cause a full scale riot when the kids are picked up and their mother finds out I'm not going to force their child to conform to a gender or sex): It's not up to me. Caitlin or Charlie, whichever you prefer is what I'll call you.
Kid: Yay thank you Miss.
Sister: I think adults are weird.

(*names changed to protect identities in line with the data protection act)

Working in school (whilst my ideal job), is very cisexual and cisgender biased, I've yet to find a gender neutral title that the kids can use and that won't out me to parents and cause a riot, although I'm working on it. I've so far learned how to deal with questions of boyfriends (I am attracted to women), how to deal with questions on why I won't wear dresses and got my hair cut short and why I don't dress like a girl or like a boy but a mixture. Now it's a case of learning how to deal with situations like the above and stay neutral whilst carefully avoiding fitting into the hetronormative and the sexual and gender normative positions most of our parents and the other staff take. This year has been a real learning curve.

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Why does gender disphoria come on so fast and leaving under two names

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 14:05:00 GMT

Posted by: numberland.livejournal.com

I identify as non-binary-gendered and until recently could deal with my female name and presenting neutral most of the time. Recently things have changed. A home and with friends who understand this I have been often of late presented quite feminine and felt comfortable about this (not least because the weather is so hot here). However at the same time in general I've been feeling much more uncomfortable. I've decided to start using a gender neutral name in some situations and now I tend to feel horrible about people using my female name (though not afformentioned friends - I think that comes down to being known as not just female) and avoiding signing it on emails if at all possible. Similarly having decided to get my hair cut I then started getting very self conscious of my hair to the degree of attempting to cut some of it myself because it was just too much.

Have other people had such feelings when having identified a problem and action you then find putting up with the problem in the first place far less bearable? It sort of makes sense but doesn't help that feeling of wrongness. Gender disphoria for the fail!

Secondly, I'm trying to decide what to do about my names, I kinda want to keep my female name probably as a second name for various reasons if nothing other then it leaves me to option to use it or use the new one as desired but I'm already using the new name in some circumstances and am trying to decide how far to go at least in the short term. Again, I would love any thoughts or advice from people who have been there before in terms of using two names and the process of telling people.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts

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Help?

Thu, 01 Apr 2010 00:36:00 GMT

Posted by: saraookami.livejournal.com

I'm still confused about myself, and which gender I feel I should be. Its been causing me so much stress and I'm hoping maybe I could get some feedback on the situation.

Ever since 2005 I get moments where I feel I should really have been born a boy (I'm biologically female) and then other times, I'll be fine with being female.

Recently I've been going through the phase of feeling like I really should have been born a boy. I'm even hating my visible female features and getting stressed that I'll probably never have the money to make the wanted changes to my body. I've tried binding with a binder I bought from Underworks but I cannot stand wearing it.

I've talked to my therapist about this and he said that it kinda sounds like gender identity disorder (that I still am not sure about though)and that maybe it would do some good to find a mentor to go to for support and such.

This whole situation just sucks really bad. Any advice, feedback, and information would be a lot of help.

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Thought Experiment

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:44:00 GMT

Posted by: auntysarah.livejournal.com

If you could decide, on a day by day basis, to wake up with either a conventionally male body, or a conventionally female body, or any combination of gendered attributes, and it would last for the day, and then you could make a fresh choice tomorrow, would you take advantage of this on a regular basis, or just use it once to transition, or what?

And why?

For me, I think I'd spend a lot of time as my birth assigned sex - male, simply because it seems that on those days where I don't care, society seems easier to navigate as male. If I started to experience dysphoria, or need to attend some sort of formal situation, I'd switch back in an instant. I do wonder if I'm unusual for thinking I'd spend a lot of time as my birth assigned sex though, and am curious to know if other trans people feel similarly?

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help

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 18:47:00 GMT

Posted by: a-dub37.livejournal.com

haha TiffanyTourette is my girlfriend... i made a live journal for all of you that said i should. Im super confused. i just want to know who or what i am.. i dont want a dick but i dotn want my tits. im more relaxed when ppl think im a guy but always worried they will find out im a girl. altho someday ima be a mommy or daddy and niether sound right...

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Transition to be happy?

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 23:41:00 GMT

Posted by: jovial-julia.livejournal.com

One of my friends the other day asked me "So are you transitioning to be happier?" This actually made me think because transition has not made me happier, at least not yet. It has made me much happier with myself but I don't think it made me happier as a person since I deal with a lot more crap now compared to when I started to transition. Not to mention the money I have spent on transition would have meant a much easier life if I was not trans. But the one thing I have gained is I actually feel like I'm alive now. Before everything felt like I was sleepwalking through life. So no, transition has not made me happier, but it has given life to me.

I tried to explain this to my friend and a therapist once but neither one really understood. So I am wondering does this make sense to anyone here?

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Cut for graphic content and potentially offensive subject. CONTROVERSIAL.

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 19:48:00 GMT

Posted by: jackcantdie.livejournal.com

( Read more... )

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A Mess of Gender Confusion;

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 10:22:00 GMT

Posted by: blueawakening.livejournal.com

This group may not be the place to discuss this, I've read your posts and it seems many of you are far beyond where I am at personally. I've been dealing with "gender dysphoria" all of my life. As a child my desires were so clear, I wanted to be a boy and I liked girls. As I grew older, I learned what lesbians were, assumed that I was one, and dealt with the trials and tribulations of homosexuality, deciding that must be my social categorization. As I grew older still, lesbian just didn't seem sufficient to describe me. For the past ten years, I've been dealing with the internal struggle of what feels like a jaggedly split divide. I do not feel that I am a woman, I don't know if I want to be a man, and the very thought of physically altering my body terrifies me. Hormones... surgery... it is such an enormous and permanent choice. Lately, I've longed for the confidence I had as a child, I want to be a boy and I like girls. The duality of my current existence is killing me.

How did you know you wanted to go through with it and become trans? How old were you? What was your process? Currently, I am identifying as "genderqueer" and refusing to choose a gender. I want to be one of those open people that can accept "fluidity" in gender, but there is a strong pull in me to make a decision. Any opinions on "genderqueer?" Have any of you ever chosen the label?

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Androgyny...how to pull it off?

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:29:00 GMT

Posted by: twoxmale.livejournal.com

I've been doing a lot of introspection lately and had another session with my therapist where I discussed the current situation. I made a post before that briefly mentioned this. I do not meet the textbook definition of gender dysphoria, because I do not strongly identify with the stereotypical gender roles of the opposite gender. I fall somewhere near the middle. My desire is to come across as androgynous, but leaning towards male and using male pronouns. The male equivalent of a tomboy, I guess, whatever you would call it.

I am having a lot of trouble explaining this to people and very few people seem to get it, and I'm not sure how I am going to achieve what I am aiming for. Several people seem to think that, as biologically female, I cannot pull off a look like this, this, or this. None of these examples look very masculine at all, so I'm a bit puzzled, though this may have to do with people not understanding what I'm aiming for. I'm not sure.

I've been thinking over the possibility of surgery only without hormones, or with only a very low dose, because I do not want to risk a personality change, drastic appearance change, or increased sex drive. My mannerisms, body language, etc. are just naturally not feminine at all as it is, and it's always been that way. The main indicator that gives me away (when binding and wearing a baggy shirt, at least) is my voice, and I don't know if it's possible to train my voice to be convincing enough without hormones or not.

Is anyone knowledgeable enough to know how possible my goal is, and how difficult/expensive this would be if it is?

Sorry for all the questions.

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becoming genderqueer

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:21:00 GMT

Posted by: perfectfigure.livejournal.com

I hope it is ok to post this here -- I've been watching the transgender community for awhile but have not posted, mostly because my realization that I'm not quite as cis as I thought I was only came recently.

Anyway, I posted a kind of rambly journal entry about "becoming" (or realizing) genderqueer. I thought I'd share my (mostly intellectual/internal) "transition" here.

( Read more... )

Edit to fix cut because I always forget how to do them. xD

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