Transgender Community

Actions!

Mon, 16 May 2011 10:41:00 GMT

Posted by: trailrat.livejournal.com

I've been thinking about this for a while now. I wasn't quite sure how I should go about posting about it and I can only hope I can do justice and make sense of my thoughts!

Also, this will contain certain gender stereotypes and if that offends I apologise in advance.

This is about ones actions and the way one presents themselves and the way we change what we do as we transition.

I help a friend with the setting up with a club he runs. I also attend the club so that over the course of the evening I can assist if need be and help "break down" the club at the end of the night!

The setting up of the club is probably where I fail the most in my transition! It's not something that can be done in a dress as it requires lots of lifting, usually heavy lifting. So I usually go to the club dressed in a pair of old worktrousers and steel toecaps left over from my days working in warehouses. Also because I stay at the club, I don't wear make-up when travelling to the club because the last time I tried it, I sweated and the make up ran and the club doesn't really have facilities for washing off and reapplying make-up. I usually take make up with me and apply before the club opens! So aside, from the long hair and the breasts I fail on presentation. Yet, my friend and others that know me still use the female pronouns.

Already I can feel my post breaking down, I'm not sure where I'm going with it but I have started typing!

I guess what I'm trying to say is do you still carry on with activities that you use to do that force you in some way to use the props and presentation of your pre-transition gender? Should I find a more feminine way to assist my friend in the setting up of the club?

I hope you can make sense of this and see where I am coming from.......

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Binding issues

Thu, 17 Mar 2011 03:18:00 GMT

Posted by: hil0.livejournal.com

I have a problem that might cause binding issues, and I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar problem.
I'm a natural DD-cup, and both my breasts have several hard lumps of glandular tissue in them. Because of this I haven't dared trying to bind yet, both in fear of it not working, and in fear of pain, since just lying on my stomach is quite painful.
Has anyone else had similar breasts, and if so, how did binding work? Does anyone know of a "home-made" solution to the problem?

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Utterly frustrated

Fri, 08 Oct 2010 12:11:00 GMT

Posted by: bbjkrss.livejournal.com

Ok, this is kind of a multi-layered entry, 'cause I've been keeping all my anxieties real quiet lately.

I'm starting to go really frustrated about all this. I want to present as male at school, and I've been trying- I've gotten the teachers and a lot of kids that know me to call me Ritchie, but almost no one calls me "he," and even the ones that do are pretty irregular about it. That's the more important part to me, and I get frustrated.

(But at the same time with naming issues- I don't know if I chose the right name.. I like it when my friends call me it, and when a certain person used the name it made me happiest I've ever felt, but then when my dad/stepmom use it... it FRUSTRATES me beyond belief and I really just wish they'd go back to calling me Sarah again. I have no idea why this is, and it scares me, because does it mean anything? Is it just because I was used to my other name for 16 years? I don't know and it's driving me crazy.)

I need to figure out a way to pass better (I did it so well over the summer, why is it going so poorly now?). My voice sucks, and I can't really change that (though it's not particularly high, it gets that way when I'm excited, and I'd really prefer not to speak in a monotone...), but clothing's a huge issue. I really want to buy guy clothes for the winter (like, stylish ones. I think I'm kind of turning into a mildly stereotypical gay guy..) but even smalls are big on me.. but then when I buy "guyish" women's clothes, they show off the female body and I hate it. I don't want to wear baggy clothes, I want to look nice, but I have no safe way of binding right now (can't buy a binder and multiple bras don't always work).

So, yeah. Just really frustrated about everything. And then.. the worst thing of all... the fear that I'm still gonna hate myself even when things start to change. I *want* to love myself, but... I just can't see myself ever being the way I truly want to be.. and that scares me, I guess. Anyone have any advice... for any of these things I just totally ranted about? >.<

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Dysphoria :/

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 17:26:00 GMT

Posted by: gleek-boy.livejournal.com

I don't have a question or anything, I just really need some support right now.

Recently I've been feeling quite confident about myself, increasingly since I've started social transition. But I still look like a girl. So much so and it's killing my spirit.

I've had long hair for years now because I'm a metalhead and I've always wanted to stay true to that side of me so I was stubborn about cutting my hair. But just now I was feeling so distressed that I cut a huge chunk out of my hair and I just look and feel so ridiculous. :(

I've made an appointment with a stylist to get it cut really short. But now I feel like a sell out and I'm terrified I'll still look like a woman. Plus I'm gonna be looking like an idiot until then with my terribly uneven hair.

I just feel so alone right now, and as though there's no light at the end of the tunnel for me.

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Oh Vanity

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 14:29:00 GMT

Posted by: thequeerbitch.livejournal.com

I apologize if this post seems irrelevant or something.. I just need to get it off my chest.

( Feeling unattractive as a male. )

And to anyone who read and commented on my last post here, thanks a lot. I introduced myself to my teacher and my classmates as Nate and it went over really well. One person asked me why and I calmly explained I am transgendered and identify as male, her response was "That's cool." haha. All that anxiety for nothing ;p

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Volunteering Disclosure

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:26:00 GMT

Posted by: espreite.livejournal.com

I'm planning to volunteer at a local historical society this summer, and I'd really like to present as male while doing so. The application for volunteering has both a spot for legal name and name preferred for name-tags and records, but my preferred name is not obviously male. Should I disclose my trans status at the time of applying, or wait to see how they react to my application first? Or is this a bad idea and I should just present as female? I pass iffily - people believe me if I'm explicitly introduced as male, but they tend not to peg me as such otherwise, though I suspect that will get better after I get a haircut. Any thoughts/suggestions/advice would be wonderful.

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Those 'Harmless' comments

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 21:38:00 GMT

Posted by: mondayscalamity.livejournal.com

I'm writing a new article and I need some help.

I want to highlight the effects on the individual who suffers from a prejudiced, transphobic, offensive, or discriminatory comment on the street.

I've just returned home from visiting the local shops to get some food supplies, and gained a first hand experience to deconstruct and look at, but am hoping to gain a few other viewpoints to use in order to explain how the girl feels when someone calls out, 10 paces after they've passed her and aren't in line of sight "you're a man in drag you."

Any other related points would be helpful too.

I've calmed down a bit now, but when it happens I always feel so upset by it. I don't feel like they are harmless ignorable comments; I feel like they're comments that say: “You've failed, you're not a woman,” it's a statement that implies that one should just stop trying, that one is wrong, will always be wrong, and will never be accepted. I hate how it makes me feel so small and worthless, like my life isn't worth living.

I hate that I have to put up with that crap, and I want to have something that I can point to and go "you don't know how I feel, go read this and then come offer me sympathy".

Anyway, rant away, if you want to.

Edited just to clarify: I'm looking for people's experiences and feelings on when this sort of thing happens, I added my own experience and feelings as an example, not the point of the post.

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Scared/New/Unsure

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:09:00 GMT

Posted by: oh-hi-adrian.livejournal.com

Okay, I'm FtM trans and I've not yet come out to anyone. I've hinted to a few people about whats going on, but I haven't flat out told anyone that I'm a guy and I want to transition. So basically, I'm scared out of my mind as to what its going to entail, the friends and family I'm going to lose, etc.

I've bound quite a bit before, but its real hard cause quite frankly, I've got a big chest, not real sure what kind of binder to get to accommodate that. Not real sure about anything.
Not sure what transitioning is going to entail entirely.
I mean, I know basics, but I need to know more.
From people who actually know what its like.
And MtF opinions and advice is welcome too.

Another main concern is voice. I have a very feminine voice and I'm also in a band and I'm afraid that even if I do manage to develop a decent masculine voice, that I won't be able to sing with it.

Any advice/support/or anything would be absolutely fantastic.
Basically, I'm just scared and confused, and completely freaked.

Thanks.

--Adrian

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Height woes

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 21:28:00 GMT

Posted by: twoxmale.livejournal.com

Sorry to post again so soon and always asking questions on here. I keep searching everywhere and I cannot find any concrete answers to this because it's so specific.

If I were to go on T, and take some sort of growth hormone at the same time, could I actually become taller? I wonder this because, from what I understand (correct me if I'm wrong), T basically confuses your body into thinking you are going through puberty again in a way, so maybe it would cause your body to be receptive to growth hormones again even if you are past the age when you would be (which I am, I am 26)...

This is something that's really been bothering/depressing me a lot. I hate being short and very badly regret not doing anything about it when I still could have, such as going on T and/or growth hormones when I was younger. I'm 5'4", and while some men are this short...it's really rare and I really do not like it at all. I'm horridly self conscious about it.

Failing this, is there any way I could compensate for being short through clothing that is acceptable for men to wear? I can't exactly wear high heels or something.

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Androgyny...how to pull it off?

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:29:00 GMT

Posted by: twoxmale.livejournal.com

I've been doing a lot of introspection lately and had another session with my therapist where I discussed the current situation. I made a post before that briefly mentioned this. I do not meet the textbook definition of gender dysphoria, because I do not strongly identify with the stereotypical gender roles of the opposite gender. I fall somewhere near the middle. My desire is to come across as androgynous, but leaning towards male and using male pronouns. The male equivalent of a tomboy, I guess, whatever you would call it.

I am having a lot of trouble explaining this to people and very few people seem to get it, and I'm not sure how I am going to achieve what I am aiming for. Several people seem to think that, as biologically female, I cannot pull off a look like this, this, or this. None of these examples look very masculine at all, so I'm a bit puzzled, though this may have to do with people not understanding what I'm aiming for. I'm not sure.

I've been thinking over the possibility of surgery only without hormones, or with only a very low dose, because I do not want to risk a personality change, drastic appearance change, or increased sex drive. My mannerisms, body language, etc. are just naturally not feminine at all as it is, and it's always been that way. The main indicator that gives me away (when binding and wearing a baggy shirt, at least) is my voice, and I don't know if it's possible to train my voice to be convincing enough without hormones or not.

Is anyone knowledgeable enough to know how possible my goal is, and how difficult/expensive this would be if it is?

Sorry for all the questions.

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Voice techniques

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 12:06:00 GMT

Posted by: jamiethegrey.livejournal.com

A bit of background:

I'm 17 and FtM. I've been out to my parents for about 14 months, but they still won't try to get it, I turn 18 soon, but I can't start T until I'm out the house, and I have a year to go.

I'm looking for non-T related ways of lowering my voice. Exercises I can do, or... well... anything. Any suggestions?

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gender vs. my other identities

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 20:28:00 GMT

Posted by: martinanonymous.livejournal.com

( This is me venting. I'd love to get support, similar stories, advice, or anything along those lines. )

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Compliments

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 00:18:00 GMT

Posted by: the4thcircle.livejournal.com

In this conversation, I am NirdGerl. The guy in question has asked me to anonymise his part in it because apparently he's a well known freenode staffer and he ~~fears the wrath of the transmafia~~ Doesn't like to leave a papertrail.

<spaceinvader> lol 7chan
<NirdGerl> ?
<spaceinvader> "Post some females with very short hair coz i am gigantic faggot"
<Anon> NirdGerl, this is true, though that does majorly limit the number of people involved. Or whatever I mean.
<NirdGerl> I think if you're a man and the only part of a woman you find attractive is long hair, you're probably gay.
<NirdGerl> Is like the pictures that get posted in the /tg channels of utterly gorgeous preop transsexual women/
<Anon> I assume you mean M->F?
<NirdGerl> Where you've got gorgeous faces, supermodel figures, great breasts, good skin, and in the middle, a flacid little penis.
<NirdGerl> and guys post "OMG, I find this arousing, am I gay!?"
<Anon> that description makes me laugh.
<Anon> fuck, forgot to charge my laptop
<NirdGerl> Frankly they'd have to be gay to NOT be attracted to all the curves of the girls there.
<NirdGerl> Personally I find F->M trans guys very attractive.
<NirdGerl> I have a nude calendar of transsexual men.
<NirdGerl> HAWT.
<Anon> I've seen some very convincing ones.
<NirdGerl> yeah, i think society needs to shift away from that.
<Anon> makes you go "wtfvulva?"
<NirdGerl> No one cares if you find them 'convincing' or not.
<NirdGerl> Although the societal pressure to fit this label is the source of many woes for the early transsexual.
<NirdGerl> if you were talking to a biological woman for an hour or so and slipped in to the conversation "By the way, you really are convincing, you look and sound just like a woman. it's amazing."
<Anon> I'm not saying that transsexuals need to be convincing. I'm just saying that I've seen some who really are.
<NirdGerl> You'd probably get a massive slap.
<NirdGerl> And yet thats the amazing compliment transwomen are meant to work towards.
<NirdGerl> Pf.
<Anon> well, yes, it's far harder for someone who's transsexual to look just like a biological member of the gender they're switching to than it is for someone who, well, is a biological member of it.
<NirdGerl> I still think the average transwoman would rather be told they were pretty.
<Anon> I'm sure they would, I'm not saying it as a compliment to the people, I'm pointing out an observation that I've seen some very convincing F->M people.
<NirdGerl> I'm explaining how that's a bad attitude with which to approach the topic.
<Anon> I'm not gay. I'm not able to comment on how good a guy looks. Guys just look like guys to me.
<NirdGerl> hmmm.. Never thought of it like that.
<NirdGerl> Being bisexual I sometimes forget that there are people out there who can't appreciate the appeal of either sex.
<NirdGerl> Anon, can i post a transcript of this to my blog, to get a wider opinion?
<Anon> sure

So... opinions?

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Fri, 21 Dec 2007 15:05:00 GMT

Posted by: hrolleif.livejournal.com

Let me ask you all something...

I've been on T now a bit more than 10 months. I seem to be passing very consistently now even when I look in the mirror and see omg hair that needs cutting, making me look feminine, still people are seeing a man. Everyone calls me sir. No one seems to think twice about it. I'm not sure if my voice is screwing it up, but I do worry a bit. And that's the question, does the worry go away eventually? I'm very nervous like at any moment people are going to be seeing me as female, thinking they initially made a mistake. That happened to me once in august and I've been *really* anxious about it ever since. I was always anxious about it, but that incident just made it worse. So, if it went away for you, how long did it take? Are you still experiencing it? Is it less than it was in the past? I'm really wondering because it's probably the most bothersome thing for me right now and it's all in my own mind.

xposting this other places

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I've been thinking about a lot.

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 13:08:00 GMT

Posted by: allie-beee.livejournal.com

And frankly, I don't even know where to start.
If I come across as ignorant, there is really no excuse for it except to say that I'm trying to get all of my thoughts out and sometimes I lack the notion to re-read things and word it so that it appeals to everyone. You can't please everyone though, right? Anyway, so with that said, here goes.

I'm seriously considering taking hormones because I feel very strongly that I am a male in a female body.

For those of you who have transitioned, or have recently started transition (or those considering it, who have already worked out a dating plan)-

Do you tell people once you meet them, "Oh, by the way, I'm a man (or woman) but I'm transgendered so I may be different in some areas."
I mean, I hate hate hate labels but labels are everywhere and you can't escape them.

I know that there are people out there who will like you because of who you are, boy or girl, transgender or not.

But every once in a while, you will meet someone who expects you to be a natural-born man or woman.
How do you handle that?

To put it rather bluntly, and excuse me, do you strictly limit yourself to transgender groups?
That way, the people you date aren't taken back when they find out you look like a man but you don't have 100% the body of a man? Or look like a woman and don't 100% have the body of a woman? (Meaning, it wasn't the body you were given at birth.)

I personally do not want to have bottom surgery and that is one reason why I am bringing this up.

I often wonder what it would be like if I met someone who assumed I was 100% male (physically) and then they find that I don't have a penis. A dildo could work, but that doesn't sit well with some people.

So, any thoughts or suggestions as to how to deal with the rejection of some individuals?

I will always hold my head up and take comfort in the fact that there ARE some people out there who will like me for who I am, but I'm expecting, the way society is today, that some people will be taken back by it.

Also--- when you date someone and you really like them, at what point do you tell them you were born a different gender (if you do)? And how do you tell them?

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Being Perceived as a Genetic Female (GG) in Public

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 00:45:00 GMT

Posted by: belleza-mia.livejournal.com

I recently started college in girl mode. I've transitioned through name change and my driver's license has good info on it. I'm also taking hormones but I wear fake titties.

I've been working on my voice a little and I guess it's worked out because at school, none of my classmates know I'm trans. I know I don't always dress like a GG, but I guess due to my age and genetics, I "pass". And I don't live on campus, so nudity in showers/dorms isn't an issue luckily.

So being perceived this way is REALLY bizarre. Because all through high school I was with people who knew the shit out of me, so I could never just rest easy in my skin and be respected for my identity/gender expression (not that people at my college wouldn't hate the shit out of me if they knew my real trans identity). So now that it's actually happening, I'm weirded out! Ahh!

I guess I'm asking for people in similar situations to tell their stories and how they've felt. It's just too weird for words, but luckily not really in a bad way. Thoughts? Note that this is a late-night post, so please pardon me if the post seems incoherent.

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Wed, 24 Oct 2007 23:06:00 GMT

Posted by: legendline.livejournal.com

I think someone turned off my "pass" switch today. :`-(

On the brighter side, I educated four cisgender somewhat unaware but kind groupmates on bathroom accessibility issues based on gender. And they don't hate me for actually talking about who I am (rather than just pretending it doesn't exist but correcting their pronouns as I have been doing the last few weeks).

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Chin and jawline means I look like a man...any suggestions?

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 19:44:00 GMT

Posted by: irish-deutsch.livejournal.com

-for minimising or disguising this? Think I look good...but a good looking man!

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Fri, 20 Jul 2007 14:16:00 GMT

Posted by: snugglebitch.livejournal.com

I've been doing a bit of ruminating about my transition in my livejournal. It's my "triumphant return" to livejournal, after not posting in months. I thought I'd open it up to the community for discussion.

Entry behind the fake cut.

Is this something others here have dealt with? What are your thoughts on the matter?

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x-posted to tguk

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 16:37:00 GMT

Posted by: xeddieizzardx.livejournal.com

X-posted to tguk

Hey.

I know there's probably been many question of FTMs and passing; I know a little I just need a basic outline on what to do and basically where in the UK I can get certain necessary things.
I'm taking a trip to London to see a concert, and I thought I'd try passing for a guy for once since I'm around people that wouldn't recognise me (plus, i've now finished school).

Any tips?

Just to let you know I'm Pre-T.

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Anticipating the loss of male acceptance

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 06:47:00 GMT

Posted by: anima-engine.livejournal.com

Cicero would be appalled with this entry. Pardon. I try to avoid making "dream posts" (because I generally hate reading them), but this one perfectly illuminates what I am feeling and worrying about right now. I will do my best to make it a worthwhile read. Thank you.

Last night I dreamt that a MTF transgender conference was taking place at a local college. All of the TG women I admire were there. I was eager to attend, but the doorman at the entrance of the auditorium denied me admittance. He politely explained that all attendees were supposed to be "trans only", assuming that I was not trans because I was dressed en homme. In my best femme voice, I pleaded with him to look beyond my appearance and let me in. He did, but only after warning me to "stay at the back" and "not to make a scene".

The conference was a small affair. About 30 transwomen chatted with one another on a circular arrangement of wooden benches. I entered the room quietly and tried to blend into the background. This did not work. Every pair of eyes regarded me as a potential intruder, probably because I was the only one dressed en homme. I smiled nervously and to my great surprise was called into the group by Lynn Conway.

She studied my appearance and asked why I had come, in a polite yet assertive tone of voice. The other women leaned forward with inquisitive looks on their faces as if asking the same question. I apologized that I didn't have time to dress en femme, but that I was a transitioning woman just the same. To lend myself some credibility I quoted Lynn's writings from her website and provided a quick summary of who I was and why it was so important for me to be there. My sincerity seemed to win her over. She smiled and introduced me to the rest of the women with handshakes and hugs, which elicited a few tears of relief. I was delighted to be among them.

When I left the conference to go to the local gym, I noticed that my body had changed somewhat. The hair on my arms, chest, and legs had disappeared. My face was smooth and feminine. My voice had risen to a higher pitch. I was comfortable with my new self, but upon my arrival at the gym the guys regarded me as an entirely different person. The usual friendliness gave way to smirks and jeers:

"Hey there, are you sure you can handle that much weight? Uh, if you think those lat rows will make you look tough, you better think again. How long have you been coming here anyway? Three years? If you ask me I'd say more like three weeks."

In their eyes I was no longer a man. Apparently no fate on earth could be worse than that. In defiance, I flexed my biceps and scowled at them, but they only shook their heads in pity.

When I awoke, I weighed the pros and cons and decided that it was more important to be true to my femme self than revert back to my old guy self for the sake of avoiding criticism. This is good news for my evolving persona, but how will I deal with the loss of my male privilege? I have taken it for granted up to now. People generally leave me alone, and I like that. This is not guaranteed in the future. I hope I'm not too set in my ways to roll with the changes.

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Dear Elitist Physically Attractive Transpeople,

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 14:04:00 GMT

Posted by: ellie-l.livejournal.com

Fuck off. Seriously. Just because someone didn't become as pretty as you before they went full time is no reason to talk shit about them. You have no idea what their life circumstances have been and your blatant disdain is filled with ignorance, intolerance, and bigotry. I dare you to tell me coming out my senior year of college before I could start hormones or even laser was a bad idea because, oh my goodness, I wouldn't pass and the end of the world would come crashing down! You mean I walked around looking like...like...a crossdresser?!?! Oh noes!

Fuck you.

Sincerely,
Ellie

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Compromising My Identity To Pass

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 22:19:00 GMT

Posted by: mordred-sade.livejournal.com

I'm currently having a conflict with myself. In particular, this conflict is about the times when being myself and passing as male are at odds.

Now, being myself includes feeling male, internally. There's no question about that. However, sometimes I look/dress/act/am interested in things which get in the way of my passing. Passing is very tenuous for me at this point, being pre-testosterone and pre-operative, and I'm hoping it gets better when I start the T on May 10th.

I can't stop beating myself up about cutting my hair, though. I liked my hair long--shoulder length. It was a mark of individuality, of rebellion and of ME, because I liked it. I believe strongly in not compromising who I am, for anyone or anything. I'd gained weight by the time I grew it out, though, and my tits were more visible. My butt and hips had filled out, too. After I grew it out, I didn't pass at all. I tried not to let it get to me, but then this conflict reared its ugly head. Even the transition comittee commented on it.

So, eventually, I sheared all my hair off. I passed...but I hated how I looked. I felt like a sell-out for defying my strongest ideal in the name of fitting into a mold. Now I can't look at myself without a bandana over my hair.

Has anyone else found their sense of self conflicting with passing at any time? Has anyone ever done something they wish they hadn't, for the sake of passing?

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Faux-Cleavage blush

Sun, 07 Jan 2007 04:51:00 GMT

Posted by: hottieingoth.livejournal.com

Okay, I have all of these nice new clothes that were given to me by various people, not to mention a really beautiful lacy corset top that my sister bought me for Xmas...

My deal: I am pretty shy most of the time, so I dress rather conservatively (but still goth-like) in sleeves (long or short) and nothing that really shows off any of my chest... Now I got all these clothes that fit me and are really nice, but alas, they are for the most part meant to show off at least some cleavage, which I have none...

How can I fake cleavage with breast forms? I tried this thing I thought was really nifty called the "Cleavage Creator" but it was basically just a push-up bra for trans-ladies and really made my breast forms look awkward...

I'm only asking now because I met a really sweet guy who wants to take me to this really nice restaurant in the city, and I have this gorgeous dress I would LOVE to wear out with that corset I mentioned above...

Any ideas or tricks? The simpler the better, as money is kinda sorta tight, between therapy costs, scripts, my now fluctuating work schedule, and now helping my sister with her 4 kids while she goes through her separation... Though feel free to drop ANYTHING, I am willing to pay if I have to... thanks

**hugs** I love all of you, this community is the best... :)

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On Passing

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 11:37:00 GMT

Posted by: lisbethk24.livejournal.com

Long ago I learned that passing is a chimera. You simply can't know whether you pass or not. What are you going to do? Walk up to people at random and say, "Do I pass?" You certainly won't after you say that. Whether you pass or not, most of the time it simply doesn't matter. If people leave you alone and treat you with a little dignity and respect it really doen't matter what they think of you.

It's a whole lot easier to know that you didn't pass. All you have to do is hear the word "sir" to know. But I think we get over critical in our listening. How many times has someone said "maam" to you and you thought they said "man?" About the only times you can objectly know you passed is when you are on the edge of passing and you pass to one person and not another.

It's like the time I was checking out in a supermarket. I was bagging up and I heard the woman teller from the next isle talking in a low voice to the teller in my isle. He said something, and she blurted out, "You mean you didn't notice?!" Or the occasions when someone has called me "sir" and immediately appoligized for getting my gender wrong.

Once you're too far past that line you don't get those clues anymore. Then you don't know unless you tell someone what you are, and they say, "I would never have guessed." But that's not exactly a productive way of going about passing.

I ain't no raving beauty. But I'd rather be an ugly woman, or even a freak, than a handsome man. Even so it would be nice to have one person in the world who thinks I'm beautiful. I think every girl wants that. But you don't have to pass to be beautiful.

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