trans | Therapist Rant

I recently came out to my therapist. At first, she seemed really supportive and even congratulated me! She saw it as a big step. But when I told her last session that I was curious about hormones, she seemed to take that option off the table for me. She told me that I'd need to see somebody else for "that kind" of therapy, and that testosterone could increase aggression. And I'm just like, "wha--? But you were so welcoming..."

I've been seeing her for 5 months, but I've only just started bringing up gender as an issue...because I've been facing street harassment for being visibily queer. This is something I've talked to her about before (almost every session!), but not on the level of "I'd like to be a guy" so much as facing that harassment. But I've been living this way for a while, and the more I pass, the better I feel about myself. I was hoping by being really direct with her about it, she could help me transition. But I guess she just sees it as an emotional breakthrough for me, like, I had never expressed these feelings of maleness until I got into her office. Maybe she expects me to "work through those feelings" or some BS. She even asked me if I thought my orientation was changing when I reported yet another instance of being stared at by a cisgender man. The worst part is, I just sat there and didn't challenge her. I sat there and listened like what she was saying to me was fine. But the more I reflect upon it, the more upset I get.