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trans2004-08-20 11:51 am
early-vincent.livejournal.com) wrote in trans2004-08-20 11:51 am
x-posted
Next week I'm going up to visit some old friends from college, and I want to come out to one of them. I figured he'd be a good person to tell, because I still talk to him online and on the phone, he was really supportive for an mtf friend of ours, and he occassionally performs in drag shows. I think he'll be very supportive, and even though he's a bit of a gossip I don't think he'll tell anyone who will let it get to my family or people that I know here. I'm really nervous, though. I have come out to two people, but I told them through email. I've never said anything about being ftm aloud before. I could type it a million times, but even when I say it in my room with nobody home I get nervous. I want to tell him face to face, so that I can see his reaction and also to try to get a feel for actually talking about it.
My question though, is how do I do this? How did you come out to people the first time? I have no idea what to say to him. I chicken out whenever I decide to talk to someone. My english proffesor in college told me to talk to a conselor about it and I made an appointment, but I got too scared to go. I've chickened out of telling like three friends and my twin sister. The closest I ever came to talking about it was when I asked my mtf friend if she remembered about me telling her the thing about being a guy. She said yes and I told her that I'd been thinking about it a lot lately and that I thought it was the only way I would be happy. That was the end of that conversation and I never brought it up again. I don't even say anything when she has me try dresses on for her at department stores. I'm about the same size as her and she doesn't pass too well, so I understand the need for it.
Wow, I ramble a lot when I'm nervous. I really want to get over this, because when I'm not comfortable enough to talk about it I feel like I'm ashamed of it or something, and I don't want to be ashamed of myself. I'm scared, but you have to start somewhere and I am determined to start now.
My question though, is how do I do this? How did you come out to people the first time? I have no idea what to say to him. I chicken out whenever I decide to talk to someone. My english proffesor in college told me to talk to a conselor about it and I made an appointment, but I got too scared to go. I've chickened out of telling like three friends and my twin sister. The closest I ever came to talking about it was when I asked my mtf friend if she remembered about me telling her the thing about being a guy. She said yes and I told her that I'd been thinking about it a lot lately and that I thought it was the only way I would be happy. That was the end of that conversation and I never brought it up again. I don't even say anything when she has me try dresses on for her at department stores. I'm about the same size as her and she doesn't pass too well, so I understand the need for it.
Wow, I ramble a lot when I'm nervous. I really want to get over this, because when I'm not comfortable enough to talk about it I feel like I'm ashamed of it or something, and I don't want to be ashamed of myself. I'm scared, but you have to start somewhere and I am determined to start now.