trans | The Makeup Artist

I'm still getting used to the face that stares out from my user pic. I'm no less vain or interested in what it may convey to people out there.

sarahsmiles. Well I'd gone to this makeup artist to pick up some exrta tips.

I said "what should I do with my eyes? People can't look me in the eye for long. They turn away and when I've asked why they have told me,
"I feel you are looking into my soul."
" I wasn't taken aback but I was surprised."

The makeup artist had listened and said, "well look at me, just as you look at anyone".
So I did. I looked into her eyes and we held each others gaze for a moment ot two then she turned away.
"I'm sorry" she said, and continued more professionally "they are so cold, so unblinking".
"Well,"
I explained. "once I was a salesman and, as a salesman I was told 'always keep eye contact with the client. It's become a habit over the years and I thought it suggested I was interested in the person I was listening to or talking to."
"Could you be less intense?" She asked me.
"Hell, I'm not intense" I said.
"OK, she said, "OK, Ok" she said, "Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?" I asked turning to look, sightlessly at the wall.
"You really don't know do you?" She was laughing now, incredulous and safe. "OK. Look at me now".
I did. This time, however, she held my gaze for longer.
"Its partly the colour" she said 'Ice grey-blue' let's try something".

She turned to her little pots and slabs of black eyeliner, mascara and went to work on me.
"Lightener under the brows" she said, "this is almost white but see", she dabbed a little on her hand
"it reflects the light and opens your eyes up. Now a little pale gold and darkish brown at the edges, mascara will help and only liner on the top lid." She was working away. It was pleasant. it might have
been mildly erotic if I wasn't wondering at all those sales I'd made.Did those people think I would've
killed them? Well I made the sales, like I was paid to do.
She was finsishing and stood back and looked at her work, biting her lower lip and putting her head to one side, quizically. "Mmmmmmm" that's done a lot to help but we'll do them again after the full makeover. If we emphasise you cheeks and enlarge you lip line..."

She worked for an hour before she finally stopped, "Oh yes. That's it. Now look at me, straight at me"
I did. She held each side of my head. "Look directly at me",
Once more, and for the first time, we held each others gaze.
I noticed how blue her eyes were, and intense, intelligent. I felt a warm generosity of spirit towards this woman who had given so much of herself, more than I had to pay her. So we kept locked in each others eyes and I felt a softening effect on me and knew that my eyes were smiling at hers and that together, whatever we might be reasonably feeling, our eyes were flirting. Then, all at once hers opened wide and a smile like the sun on a rainy day seemed to bathe me with the full soft warmth of a a friend. She was nodding, that smile still on her face, eyes shiny and full of satisfaction. I knew mine were looking the same, but were being led.

"Well" she said, as she tidied then mussed up my hair a little,"I'm proud of you." She leant back, her hands on the makeup table, "Here, take a look at yourself" she said, now bending toward me holding out a mirror. I blinked, turned from her gaze and took the mirror. There was a softness about my eyes and a bloom on my cheeks that I might have missed if I had been able to just look at the eyes. Now I was holding my own gaze and my mirror self was looking searchingly at me, a slight smile on her lips, until I turned away.
When I walked out I was, for a moment disorientated. Then I walked toward a cafe.

I caught the waitress' eye and she came over after stopping at a couple of other tables.
"I'd like a large Cafe Lat and the menu" I said, looking straight into her eyes,
She looked right back and said,"we've stopped serving food"
I held her gaze. I held it and didn't blink. Neither did she.
I looked down at the table and looked up again to fins her eyes had not moved.
"I'll just have the coffee then, please" I said.
"The Cafe Lat?" she was looking intensely at me.
"Yes, the Cafe Lat," I answered looking out the window,
"please."

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