Elation then Depression

[cvisors.livejournal.com]

So I did it. I finally went to the Doctors and told them. As I waited in the waiting room, reading an ancient copy of Mari Claire, I wondered what I would say, could I still do it. The thought had passed my mind, that I could say "I think I have the flu" or something like that.

So I sat down, my heart racing, I wanted to run away and hide, but I did it.

I now have my referrals to the gender clinic, and the great thing even though they have my male name on the top of them, it says she.

When I saw that I started to cry, I don't know why but seeing it there, on a piece of paper made it oh so real.

I was elated, I wanted to tell the world, but now waiting for appointments, hormones, and everything else, I feel flat..

-L