trans | Stomach vs Heart

I went to see my cardiac consultant yesterday.
She was off sick (broken foot actually) but I did get to see Doctor Duke.

Bizarrely, Doctor Duke is no stranger to my crotch as he performed my last angiogram (they put the tube in through the groin)

I just think his name rules.

Duke duke duke.

So, for those who haven't been keeping up with the story so far, my heart is basically like a big pair of underpants beating away in my chest.

It's not the most efficient of organs and over time the unused bit has withered away and now I've got one big heart chamber doing aaaalll the work, with the oxygenated (red) and deoxygenated (blue) blood mixing it up in the middle like ebony and ivory.

My circulatory system is a MESS.

Incidentally the same genetic flaw also makes my fingernails grow a funny shape and I can't wear false nails or gor my real nails particularly long. If you ever see me, ask to look at my nails. They're weird.

So I finally buckled and told Doctor Duke I wanted to transition, and as suck he represents another milestone for me. He is the first Doctor I've told....

Okay, the first doctor who is MY doctor who I've told.

And he told me something a little perturbing.

Apparently estrogen is real bad for me. Many of you may have heard that some types of heart condition cna be worsened by hormone therapy? Turns out mine is the worst.

They don't even let women with my condition take the contraceptive pill.

Similarly I'm in no state to have any kind of invasive surgery it turns out.

Of course we already sort of knew most of this, I brought it up earlier, remember? The first time I chickened out.

However it turns out I was wrong about one thing. Surgery for me will actually be LESS dangerous after my transplant, which certainly made me change my opinion on whether I felt like I needed to be put on the register soon. Not only that but with a new heart, I can have all the HRT I want.

So it seems my time chart has been predestined.

1) Heart transplant

2) Hormones

3) SRS

So now my main concern is what to do before 1.

Hoping I don't start to go bald is high on the agenda, I must say...

I've already talked over getting my ears pierced (generally considered inadvisable, but actually common for girls with my condition and not as dangerous as body piercing. Also there are plenty of precautions I can take) and the laser hair removal.

Now I'm toying with the idea that I might be able to go fulltime before my transplant, meaning as soon as I'm ticking with a new crystal (clock maker humour. A bunch of swiss readers are probably rolling about the place laughing right now) I can start HRT.

The problem is that with the precarious nature of heart transplants, you never really know when the ideal tissue match is going to appear. It's like a lottery they only draw when someone dies in a very specific way with a donor card clutched in their stiff cold fingers.

Until then one thing which is very clear is that I have an abundance of time in which to generally prepare myself, save up cash, reclaim my independance, train my voice and try to trum sense into my parents.
It's saddening that I'll have to wait so long, especially as I'll almost lose the transitioned-in-early-twenties-bonus-bra-cup-size but I no longer feel like I'm sitting around doing nothing when I should be transitioning. Things are set in motion now and waiting is actually progress.

Next step, talking to my GP.

Crossposted to

transgender for general transitiony interest.

(incase you didn't get it, that's a song title by the Barenaked ladies. My stomach isn't involved but my heart is and I couldn't think of a better lyric)