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Jul. 16th, 2007 01:52 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
pedobears.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transI am not transgendered. I'm asking a question about experiences that I have with transgendered people. This question may be somewhat touchy, but if you read everything that I've written, you'll find that I'm not intolerant or hateful at all. My question is this:
As a transgendered person, do you expect people to refer to you by your chosen pronoun if you have not undergone a sex change? Would you be offended if a person did not refer to you by your chosen gender? If so, why?
My problem is this. I have a friend. She is a girl, yet she considers herself a male. She hasn't had surgery or anything to alter her appearance. She got extremely upset with me when I referred to her as a girl or "she" in conversations, rather than a male. Here's my viewpoint on the subject:
It seems strange to me to refer to someone as something they're physically not. If a white person asked you to call them black and pretend they were black, because they felt black on the inside, wouldn't you think that was somewhat strange? What if a pale person asked you to refer to them as tan because they felt tan on the inside? You wouldn't think that was weird?
I have no problem with transgendered people. I do not hate or fear them. I fully respect their feelings. I also fully respect their rights to act and dress as femininely or masculinely as they want, and to date people of whichever sex they are attracted to. I will treat them as their personality warrants, not as what gender they are.
However, I won't call them a girl if they're physically a boy, and vice versa. It's not an attack ... it's just not how things are. I won't deny reality because of a reality that exists only in your head.
Is this truly offensive, or was my friend overreacting? If it is offensive, please explain, because I don't see anything wrong or intolerant about my statements.
As a transgendered person, do you expect people to refer to you by your chosen pronoun if you have not undergone a sex change? Would you be offended if a person did not refer to you by your chosen gender? If so, why?
My problem is this. I have a friend. She is a girl, yet she considers herself a male. She hasn't had surgery or anything to alter her appearance. She got extremely upset with me when I referred to her as a girl or "she" in conversations, rather than a male. Here's my viewpoint on the subject:
It seems strange to me to refer to someone as something they're physically not. If a white person asked you to call them black and pretend they were black, because they felt black on the inside, wouldn't you think that was somewhat strange? What if a pale person asked you to refer to them as tan because they felt tan on the inside? You wouldn't think that was weird?
I have no problem with transgendered people. I do not hate or fear them. I fully respect their feelings. I also fully respect their rights to act and dress as femininely or masculinely as they want, and to date people of whichever sex they are attracted to. I will treat them as their personality warrants, not as what gender they are.
However, I won't call them a girl if they're physically a boy, and vice versa. It's not an attack ... it's just not how things are. I won't deny reality because of a reality that exists only in your head.
Is this truly offensive, or was my friend overreacting? If it is offensive, please explain, because I don't see anything wrong or intolerant about my statements.