Hi,
my (nick)name is squiggle. Some of you on here may already know me from TransLondon meetings. Some of you might know me very well, and might therefore know that I am neutrois and (grey) asexual, and that I come from the UK, and live in London. (If you don't know what grey A is look it up on the asexuality visibility and education network faq). Rather than transitioning directly from male to neutrois like my friend
andrajames was able to, at the time I transitioned (1997) the best I could do in my circumstances was to transition from male to female and hope for the best. Obtaining appropriate treatment as a neutrois patient, was at that time impossible, both in the NHS and private sectors. If I had been out as neutrois at the time I would not have been able to obtain either HRT, penectomy, orchidectomy, and clitoroplasty in a clinical setting. Moreover I would have been forced to live in such a way where I would have continued to have been poisoned by the testosterone my body was producing. So I transitioned in the private sector.
Thinking in good faith that it would provide a solution I ended up having conventional SRS including a vaginoplasty, that I have not used. This surgery was performed ten years ago. The penectomy, cliteroplasty, and orchidectomy aspects of my surgery were all successful, and I continue to be happy with these aspects of the surgery. However the vaginoplasty aspect of the surgery was/is another story. I thoroughly regret that aspect of my surgery. Not only that, it was also a failure. I had my surgery in spring 1999. In the autumn of that year I experienced a neovaginal prolapse. The skin lining the posterior wall of my neovagina prolapsed, along with about 1/2 of the skin that lined the anterior wall, resulting in a section of the lining of the neovagina protruding from the entrance.
( the gory details... )The worst aspect of this I ever expereinced was when my surgeon told me, in November 1999, at the appointment where he acknowledged I had a physical problem. Having pushed the protruding skin back inside me using a speculum he told me that in the interim the situation (ie the protruding skin of the prolapse) could be remedied by regular heterosexual vaginal sex. In other words 'get fucked', although he did not use those words... -I would really like to know if anybody on this forum has suffered a prolapse like I suffered and has managed to repair it in this way??? -Or was my surgeon just talking a load of crap?
Heterosexual intercourse was inappropriate for me because I am asexual and do not identify with having a vagina and so not an option.
Given the situation I currently find myself in I feel that as a neutrois person the best course of action would be for me to have my neovagina removed and in its place to simply have smooth skin, like my friend Andra who is physically neutrois, -and has acheived the kind of surgical solution I wished I could have had. Basically I want to keep my clit, take low dosage oestrogen, have no facial or body hair, get rid of my breasts and get rid of my neovagina.