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(no subject)
Jan. 16th, 2011 02:20 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
sitiomania.livejournal.com( I am so desperate. )
Searching sexuality-related documents
Feb. 8th, 2010 06:44 pmellyrouge.livejournal.comIn order to enhance what is currently available in the LGBT groups I am part of, I am looking for documents (e.g., leaflets or guides) concerning sexuality of trans people, with prevention and risk reduction tips and so on, and documents concerning sexuality of lesbians and gay males which include trans people (i.e., which are not actually guides for *cis* lesbians and *cis* gay males).
Ideally, they would be freely copyable as the goal is to enhance what is available among the guides we distribute for free. Given it's for distribution in France, it would also be better if we had permission to translate them.
I know google exists, but while I've found some generic stuff and a guide for trans gay men (http://www.queertransmen.org/) I didn't find much for trans women and trans lesbians, and I don't feel like going into every gay&lesbian guide in the hope to find one which isn't cis-centered, so I'd be really happy if you gave me some tips (in comments or via mail: elly at reveries dot info).
Thanks in advance :x
Trans Asexuals on Hormones
Dec. 1st, 2009 02:02 amrainbow-gray.livejournal.comI have been told, and I have read extensively, that one of the effects of testosterone is a sharp boost in sex drive. I'm curious how this might affect an asexual person- creates a "normal" sex drive? Higher drive, but still no attraction to other people? No noticeable effect? I mean, I can ponder the possibilities all day, but what I'd really like is information from real trans people who identified as asexual before and/or after taking hormones about how they affected their sex drive and sexual identity. As an FTM, I've got a more personal stake in learning about testosterone, but I'm curious about the other asexual hormone experiences as well.
Originally posted this question to
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asexuality, but got a limited response (mostly pre-T trans guys with the same question), so trying here to see what y'all have to say on the matter.MTFs & BDSM Play
Jun. 23rd, 2009 12:53 pmmindtheft.livejournal.com( Question is NSFW... )
Thanks.
xoxo
Kate
P.S. Cross posted to a few communities
a question for female-identified people.
Apr. 24th, 2009 02:53 pmjeomg.livejournal.comlong story short, my friend and i have started teaching a class that basically covers how to respect a gender non-conforming person's body when it comes to sex. ideas on how to treat your partner's parts as they see them, whether it be physically, verbally or otherwise, respecting their gender identity and body through consent and check-ins, etc.
the first and only time we've taught the class, we got really good feedback about it, but the one suggestion that came up a few times is having more information about female-identified people who fall under the trans umbrella. as two people who fall more on the side of ftm on the trans spectrum, we thought that perhaps instead of guessing or coming up with ideas we think would be good, we get suggestions from people have actually experienced said suggestions.
so, with that said, if you were to attend a class like this, what would you like to hear as far as ways to respect a transwoman's body in bed? suggestions for pre-op, post-op, or no-op bodies are all welcome.
if you don't feel comfortable responding in comment form, please feel free to email me. jeoates at mac dot com.
thank you so much in advance to any and all that can help out!
(no subject)
Feb. 20th, 2008 09:47 ammindtheft.livejournal.comThe name's Kate. I've posted on here a few times so some of ya'll may recognize me. Anywho, consider this the first of many call-outs that I will be posting concerning a zine/pamphlet I'm looking for collaborators on. Okay, here's the deal:
I'm currently in my final semester of university (woot! woot!) and one of my courses is called Lesbian Issues & Realities and for our final evaluation we have the option of writing a 10-12 page paper or doing a creative art project. I'm obviously choosing the latter and am making a zine/pamphlet called A transdyke's guide to lesbian sex. For this specific class I'm going to do everything myself...I'm going to write short, erotic stories, take sexy photos of myself (and possibly my partner), write poetry, safer-sex info, harm-reduction tips as they relate to HRT, SRS, drug-use, & sex-work, etc etc.
However, I plan on only making one copy, for my class, and once it's done I want to solicit other transwomen(who sleep primarily sleep with women, although gold star is not a requirement...haha) to contribute to it and help edit it. IMO this type of document needs to be circulating in the world,as typically safer sex guides and erotica collections do not include our bodies/identities/realities.
So just consider this a lil heads up and once I have finished the template I'll set up an email list and we can begin discussing it more in detail.
xoxo
Kate
P.S. In case you haven't seen it, this is where my inspiration for this project is coming from:
www.queertransmen.org
x-posted to lots of places!
Sex (or the lack, thereof)
Feb. 4th, 2008 09:10 pmlaura-seabrook.livejournal.comRead a post by an LJ friend that quoted telling it like it is in the world of bi-trans romance by Heather Franek. Goddess - that resonated in me, in fact I got "triggered" if you know what that is. I've written before (in my own journal) about how I've felt both sexually frustrated and emotionally isolated. Both posts were back in 2006, and not much has changed since then. I still feel sexually isolated/confused. I still feel distant. I used to hang around the Bi groups in Australia and Sydney, but really what I got was (like said in the article):
...that transgender people were valued allies and interesting objects of intellectual analysis about gender and society, but that few of the folks writing about "gender fuck" were seriously willing to consider trans people as close friends or potential romantic partners. Unless, of course, you were talking kinky sex and gender exploration at a party or TS-friendly sex club.
So tell me, what are your dating strategies?
feilongia.livejournal.comI prefer not to refer to it as homosexuality, but as loving someone who happens to be a man. I would never want to touch any other man - ever - but let me be “straight” about this: I’ve been fucking a man up the ass for the past 12 years (it’s twelve, that’s not a typo), AND I’m still deeply and passionately in love with him - I love him completely, not just his body. So, that makes me semi-gay, I mean “seme” gay, and I love only my “uke” and noone else. Seriously, I’m not in denial. I’ve accepted who I am, and part of who I am is someone who’s annoyed by labels - so let’s move on.
Anyway, words can’t do justice to how much I long for him when he’s gone, and how elated I feel just from seeing him or even hearing his voice. We’re almost always on the same wavelength, we get along amazingly well in every way -- until recently. He’s been spending time online for a while, and recently asked me if I wanted to reverse our positions. All our previous “research” told us that positions normally aren’t reversed, but apparently it’s trendy now, or chicks dig it, or whatever. My reply was fast and (I still think) it was beautiful. I said: “I love you so much, that I’ll give anything and everything to you. I know I’d sacrifice my very life for you without hesitation, so.. if all you want is my ass, go for it.” I thought I said it pretty well, and I told the honest truth, but he didn’t like that I compared it to a sacrifice. I told him that sometimes things can be about what HE wants, and it’s ok. If I was really bothered by it, I would honestly say so, and if HE wants to try it, we’ll try it. It wasn’t a problem.
It was a problem. Long story short, we didn’t get very far. I was nervous and rigid, but limp where it counts. He basically stopped because I couldn’t get a hard-on from being fingered! He said he doesn’t want to hurt me or traumatize me, and that I was squirming and scared and grossed out. I told him, I wasn’t scared, I WAS JUST NERVOUS!!! And I tried to explain that this is about him and not about me, and it’s OK that it’s about him. He told me to “just forget it”, I asked him if he’s sure and he said he’s sure. I was quite relieved at first (whew, dodged a bullet.. well.. dodged something!) but................. he’s gotten colder, and I’ve gotten very frustrated because I feel responsible. I can still get him off in bed, (I know it’s cheesy) but I don’t just want him to cum, I want him to be happy!
About a week after that, he started to make me really SCARED - saying how he wants to become a woman since he doesn’t use his dick. We both use it plenty, so that’s just nonsense. So he starts reminding me about how I always talk about wanting him to be happy and how I’d love him no matter what, and I should support him in this. I tried to explain: this is not something you do on a whim, it’s not reversible, plus saying he doesn’t use his dick is just not true - he should not make a non-reversible decision on a whim and based on a lie!
He’s never been unreasonable before, but he’s being unreasonable now. And he’s talking about hormone treatments and stuff that was never an issue before. And he insists that he violated and traumatized me - that’s honestly and truly a load of bull. It was just a FINGER, and mind you, I agreed to more. Weird and awkward? Yes. Traumatizing? Absolutely not. However, if he loses his dick because of this, I will be very traumatized! I told him that, and the fact that he’s not listening to reason is extremely frustrating.
I asked “but will you still want me, and do you still want me?” all seductive-like, and he said “I don’t want your ass anymore, that’s for sure.” and... I don’t want him to want my ass, but the sentiment itself and the play on words (don’t want your ass = don’t want you) really hurt me more than I thought possible. And I told him, I wasn’t scared back then but now I am scared - I don’t want him to lose his genitals, certainly not on a whim like that.... What, because he couldn’t make me his uke in 5 minutes, he has to give up his dick forever??? It’s ridiculous. I’ve never cried before, but I cried the whole time I was driving to work. I don’t even care if he starts looking like a woman! The idea of him losing his genitals honestly makes me panic - cause they’re kind of mine too, right? RIGHT??? And the idea that he’ll stop loving me makes me panic. And the idea that I’m in a panic, makes me panic even more!!!
And now I can’t sleep so I’m typing this. Not even sure if I’ll post it, or where - I’ll have to find a place, I need help. He’s never acted this irrational before, but I’ve never acted this emotional before either. Never. What’s wrong with him, what’s wrong with me, what can I do, what can I say??? If anyone has any advice, it would be very much appreciated. I’ve never been as unsure or felt as helpless as I feel right now. Just... WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE HIM HAPPY??? :(
(no subject)
Oct. 3rd, 2007 03:05 pmso-la-ragione.livejournal.combelleza-mia.livejournal.comSo I've passed a lot of time without being hit on by guys. This week though, for the first time since I started college (where I'm perceived as female), a guy hit on me and I gave him my contact info.
So now that I might start dating as a girl, I have to worry about men kissing me and maybe caressing me and feeling a little bit of stubble or trying to put his hands in shirts or on boobs (my boobs are VERY small and I wear breast forms).
So for those of you who have "passed" and who have been in situations like these, what have you done? Did men try feel you up without talking about it/asking first? Have you gotten by without laser/electro without guys noticing?
Ugh, I'm so excited to start dating but I'm really worried about this. Please let me know your experiences.
sex toys 101
Sep. 6th, 2007 10:48 amaki-no-kaze.livejournal.comafter talking to several of my friends it became apparent to me just how little most people now about sex toys, being trans makes us less likely to ask questions and therefore at a higher risk of health risks from our toys.... or even worse, lead some of us to never buy one!!
My BF and I consider ourselves to be coinsures of fine sex products (hay, some people drink rotten grape juice), between the two of us we own nearly $2500 in toys of various types. We are blessed to have a VERY good, trans positive sex store in Ottawa, but for those who aren’t so lucky, getting your first few toys can be quite the experience.
( NSFW, duh! )
So happy to hear it...
Dec. 31st, 2006 04:58 amhottieingoth.livejournal.comIn a post it was mentioned about vaginal sex being unfulfilling and I agree 100% with this...
Now, what I want to know is if anyone feels like this...
Be forewarned, this is definitely got some juicy bits and if you don't want to know, don't read below here...
.....you've been warned :P~
The very idea of putting my penis into anything seems simply revolting to me and is a real turn-off... I will admit, I am bisexual and have rarely had vaginal sex (anal is simply out of the question) using my boy parts... (Done only at the command of some of my more dominant female partners, as I am very into SnM and submission. Even then, I got off more on the dominance then the actual sex)
Now, when a partner performs oral sex on me, I find it very exciting and arousing, the best I've had yet is my lesbian (yes, lesbian) friend who did not insert anything into her mouth and used only her tongue and I swear I was writhing with climax in probably 2 minutes... typically I do not get that turned on by it and it can take a very very long time for me to climax....
Another thing... most times sleeping with men, I can have an orgasm much easier by closing my eyes and fantasizing I am a woman. Usually with the most gentle touches, it doesn't take long at all for me to climax and I can have them a few times over if the guy is really turning me on... am I alone on this?
The very sight of myself in the mirror is enough to turn me off most days... I see and feel so much feminity in myself, and I guess the sagging parts between my legs and the lack of real breasts is a constant reminder that I have a very long road to go yet... At least, I don't have to go it alone and in secret any more...
Thanks for hearing me out, through that long blog.... hehehehe. I haven't ever been able to discuss much of anything with anyone, so I am going a little crazy with the postings tonight....
Much love,
***smoochezzz n hugglezzz***
~~ Danielle
flashmerain0834.livejournal.com- ted
x-posted to anywhere i thought would help
Questions About Sex & Masturbation...
Mar. 6th, 2006 09:16 pmmistress-steph.livejournal.comI'm a little nervous about asking these questions (for fear of embarrassment and/or offending someone), but I feel that I need to ask them.
I was told, way back when I first started transitioning, just shy of two years ago, that though I may not exactly like to do it, I should try to get an erection and maintain it for at least three minutes everyday inorder to keep the skin of my 'donor material' stretchy and "supple", and that I should have sex or masturbate as often as was practical (within the limits of my own psychological and emotional comfort and safety of course) in order to keep what will later become my clitoris as sensitive and "working" as possible (wow, that was a long sentence). My questions are:
- Have any other MtF TS's been told something similar?
- How do you deal with it on a day to day basis?
- For those who have girlfriends, is it awkward having what usually constitutes m/f sexual intercourse?
- What about those who have boyfriends? How do you deal with sex?
- Do you masturbate, and if so how do you cope with touching "it" in such an intimate way?
If anyone wishes to email me personally rather than reply here, you can reach me at either stephoflarimar@hotmail.co.uk or lil_blue_book@yahoo.co.uk.
With all my love and best wishes,
Steph
-x-
X-Posted to:
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trans_aloud, and mtf.Some developments and some questions
Jan. 15th, 2006 11:40 ambilijana.livejournal.comI haven't begun physical transition at all. I've got the bod I was born with. Anyway...
( Apologies about those who might have been offended. I would like to say that the things I say in this cut will be somewhat graphic, and those who do not wish to read certain things in detail should avoid this. )
Anyway, thanks for reading!
Billie.
For what it's worht, I'd do it again
Jan. 13th, 2006 03:13 pmbilijana.livejournal.comRecentley, I've found it increasingly difficult to get erect. When I do, I'm not as big as I used to be, in particular emphasis in girth. As you can imagine, this is causing a problem or two between my girlfriend and myself. My girlfriend is fucking beautiful in everyway you can imagine, seriously. And she's always had no problem at all getting me hto and horny. But recently, with me not getting hard as easy, that's happening with her aswell. She's trying to excite me, and yeah, I'm just as excited as I would've ever gotten, only that, nothing's rising.
What I'm thinking is that my female side is starting to take over now that I'm over the hormone of the ever fun puberty. Thinking that Iwas a boy, I had testosterone, which obviously enabled me to have many a many erections and such. But now that the rush is over and I've discovered this seemingly new side of me, things are changing.
I still don't know how far I want to take this. I have a feeling I'm going to require some professional help wit hthis, as every next step/bit of information I seem to get about myself confuses me further. I'll get there in the end though, with Cait :)
Anyway, feel free to post about what you think, advice, and such. Thanks for reading.
Keeping up to date
Sep. 28th, 2005 04:30 pmottermama.livejournal.comI was just wondering, talking to a friend of mine about health issues and what not: Are there good sites to keep up on news such as immunosuppression as it pertains to SRS? I know it's not something that is currently possible, taking one reproductive system from one person and implanting it in another no matter how much hormone therapy either person has had, and not having their body reject the new organs, but I know that people are working on it. I know I'm not the best at keeping track of this, but are there good places to keep up on it and related medical research? Just thought I'd ask.
ottermama.livejournal.comI can't shave any sooner than every other day, sometimes every three days without severely messing up my face with cuts and severe razor burn. I've tried multiple types of shaving cremes, gels, and lotions, and most of them make my lips break out into cold sores. I get severe razor burn even from electric razors, and so I use them only on rare occasion. My facial hair grows in about 6 unique directions so I have to shave up, down, sideways both directions, and at multiple angles to get a close shave. Usually takes me about an hour to get a close shave. And given how my hair has to be longer in order to be shaveable without ripping up my face or cutting it up severely, this is a real problem. Help??
On another note,
girlabomination had been asking about some of the differences in sensation and day to day life with M2F SRS, and she piqued my curiosity on something I haven't seen commented on. The genitals on genetic girls actuall can get very hot during arousal and sex, to the point where it can be felt several inches from the body. What about with M2Fs post SRS? Is there anything unique that causes this phenomenon that would make it impossible for SRS folk to do the same thing? Or is it something simply based on physical structure? Enquiring minds want to know! ^^