I've Been Cross-dressing for Four Months

[shelleybear.livejournal.com]

An a woman I have been corresponding with is so squicked by the idea that she refuses to move anywhere with the relationship.
I have been talking to her for over six months.
This is such bullshit!
The only difference in me is that I have started doing something I fantasized about since before. I was five.
I guess this is what is called "Living with the consequences of your actions" and it sucks.

Shelley

opinions about an FtM doing and MtF part?

[jjblue.livejournal.com]

So last week I auditioned for The Vagina Monologues. Women's issues are still important to me, and I've wanted to do VMfor the last few years. Plus, it would be a chance to put a different face on female-bodied-ness, as well as showingthe universal experiences that female-bodied people go through. I showed up, read, and got complimented. They had me read Burqua (about covered Muslim women) and part of a group piece.

I came out as trans right away, telling them I am transgendered, in medical gender reassignment, and would they be open to me participating. They readily said yes and I was glad, because San Diego would not have been as welcoming. On my application I said I would do any part as long as it didn't celebrate visible femininity, and the director said fine.

Tuesday night I get a call. I am in, doing They Beat the Girl Out Of _______ and What Does My Vagina Smell Like. I said fine :) , great :) , got the rehearsal schedule.

Next day look up the piece. It is a newer monologue, the transWOMAN monologue, called They Beat the Girl Out Of My Boy. About gender, arbitrariness of gender assignment, violence against transwomen, etc. At its core it is a man who has finally become the woman she has always been inside. COULD THEY HAVE ASSIGNED ME ANYTHING LESS APPROPRIATE????

I was trying to figure this out, and thanks to a friend I found out there was some confusion. Apparently they thought I was MtF. Huh??? That's been cleared up and I'm still in, and still excited to be part of it. But I feel a little bit funny about doing an MtF piece. I just left a message with her so we can talk, most specifically about clothing and voice...how will this fly with me in a suit, because I refuse to wear women's clothing? And by then I'll be another two months on T, and probably sound and look different than I do now.

And while I guess it's no weirder than a biofemale reading the part, it strikes me as odd. I've been looking for a copy of this monologue online to no avail. I guess maybe to the director trans is trans? I think I'm going to have to do some real soul-searching on this one.

For what it's worht, I'd do it again

[bilijana.livejournal.com]

I've made some developments today.

Recentley, I've found it increasingly difficult to get erect. When I do, I'm not as big as I used to be, in particular emphasis in girth. As you can imagine, this is causing a problem or two between my girlfriend and myself. My girlfriend is fucking beautiful in everyway you can imagine, seriously. And she's always had no problem at all getting me hto and horny. But recently, with me not getting hard as easy, that's happening with her aswell. She's trying to excite me, and yeah, I'm just as excited as I would've ever gotten, only that, nothing's rising.

What I'm thinking is that my female side is starting to take over now that I'm over the hormone of the ever fun puberty. Thinking that Iwas a boy, I had testosterone, which obviously enabled me to have many a many erections and such. But now that the rush is over and I've discovered this seemingly new side of me, things are changing.

I still don't know how far I want to take this. I have a feeling I'm going to require some professional help wit hthis, as every next step/bit of information I seem to get about myself confuses me further. I'll get there in the end though, with Cait :)

Anyway, feel free to post about what you think, advice, and such. Thanks for reading.

Testosterone half-life

[pkbarbiedoll.livejournal.com]

How long does testosterone remain in the system once produced?