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Sep. 11th, 2007 10:49 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
elegancewaves.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
trans So since everybody who commented on my post yesterday about telling my mother I'm transgendered wanted to know how it went, I figured I'd post an update on it.
I'm still pretty traumatized by the whole experience. lol.
I'm still pretty traumatized by the whole experience. lol.
So I called her yesterday about 3 her time, because I figured thats when my father wouldn't be around. I don't have a great relationship with him, infact my boyfriend has threatened him on occasions, and I tend to leave him out of my life decisions.
I started on my mother with small talk. Thats how I like to segue in to the heavy, important discussions, but making pleasant small talk. She's as pop-culture obsessive as I am, so I asked her if she watched the MTV VMA's and Britney's performance, and she went on about what she thought of it etc. I asked her about her own health issues, because she's pretty sick, and then I told her that my depression took a turn for the worst. She asked me why I said that, and I told her that I started cutting myself again. Which horrified her. And then I explained that I think I know the cause for 60% of the depression, and she asked me what that was.
I asked her first if she knew what transgender meant. And she said "So you want to be a girl?" in this worrying tone, and I said "Yeah, thats the gist of it". And then she asked if I was taking hormones and I said no, that I wanted to discuss the situation with her first, because I was worried that she wouldn't be supportive. And then she seemed kind of offended that I even worried that she wouldn't love me and be supportive of me lol. She said she'd love me anyway, and if I feel like I should be a girl and go through with this then thats how I feel. She did say that it'll take her some time to get used to, which is understandable. I mean she was already taking it far better than most parents would.
She explained to me that my father would never accept it, and I said I know. He never accepted me being merely gay, and quite frankly his opinion on anything never mattered to me. And my boyfriend said my dad can lick his heel, so y'know.
My mother also told me that we'll wait to tell my grandmother, because she's going to the doctor's about a heart condition and thats just one of those things that shouldn't be mentioned until she gets a bit better lol. I don't really want to tell my grandfather because, as much as I dislike him and he has nothing to do with me or my life, if he found out he'd take me out of his will. And this is going to sound really selfish, but I get a buttload of money in that will ((enough to pay for the sex reassignment surgery)) and I'd kind of like to, y'know, not lose that.
But as far as telling my mother, its done, and it went very well.
So I thank all of those who gave me advice, it was very useful. Even those still continuing to offer advice and support.
Love you all.
I started on my mother with small talk. Thats how I like to segue in to the heavy, important discussions, but making pleasant small talk. She's as pop-culture obsessive as I am, so I asked her if she watched the MTV VMA's and Britney's performance, and she went on about what she thought of it etc. I asked her about her own health issues, because she's pretty sick, and then I told her that my depression took a turn for the worst. She asked me why I said that, and I told her that I started cutting myself again. Which horrified her. And then I explained that I think I know the cause for 60% of the depression, and she asked me what that was.
I asked her first if she knew what transgender meant. And she said "So you want to be a girl?" in this worrying tone, and I said "Yeah, thats the gist of it". And then she asked if I was taking hormones and I said no, that I wanted to discuss the situation with her first, because I was worried that she wouldn't be supportive. And then she seemed kind of offended that I even worried that she wouldn't love me and be supportive of me lol. She said she'd love me anyway, and if I feel like I should be a girl and go through with this then thats how I feel. She did say that it'll take her some time to get used to, which is understandable. I mean she was already taking it far better than most parents would.
She explained to me that my father would never accept it, and I said I know. He never accepted me being merely gay, and quite frankly his opinion on anything never mattered to me. And my boyfriend said my dad can lick his heel, so y'know.
My mother also told me that we'll wait to tell my grandmother, because she's going to the doctor's about a heart condition and thats just one of those things that shouldn't be mentioned until she gets a bit better lol. I don't really want to tell my grandfather because, as much as I dislike him and he has nothing to do with me or my life, if he found out he'd take me out of his will. And this is going to sound really selfish, but I get a buttload of money in that will ((enough to pay for the sex reassignment surgery)) and I'd kind of like to, y'know, not lose that.
But as far as telling my mother, its done, and it went very well.
So I thank all of those who gave me advice, it was very useful. Even those still continuing to offer advice and support.
Love you all.