Last weekend...

[manniefaces.livejournal.com]

Hello it is Lillian again. I posted an introduction a while back and have posted one other time. I figured I would share my experiences from this past weekend. Well it had to happen at some point. I finally managed to get myself to go out to consecutive nights as myself en femme. On Friday I went to a very trans friendly lesbian club called Wall Street. It had been quite a while since I had gone there and this was the first time I went en femme. My makeup was very simple. There was know need in mind to do show myself off in an overstated look. My dress as well was uber casual, jeans and a nice simple top. There were three of us and I split away from the group once we got inside. One of my big problems is that I get very quite and reclusive when I am out en femme, which is not all that often anyway. My master plan was to force myself to mingle and flirt. I figured a few drinks to loosen me up would probably not be a bad idea. A couple of vodka and cranberries later and I was feeling a lot more calm and relaxed. Anxiety and panic can be such a bitch. Everyone was so very sweet and accepting. I chit chatted a bunch and danced a great deal of the night with a really sweet gal. A very goodnight all and all. Funny thing is I had so much fun I managed to drag myself on Saturday as well. Which is a bit of a milestone for me. It marks the first time have gone out en femme on consecutive days and both were for an extended period of time. Giddy as a school girl was my general mood on Friday. Saturday I was far more reserved, well at least most of the night I was. We all have our milestone moments in our eyes were we begin to get past the anxiety and fear and truly start embracing ourselves. It was one of those weekends were I actually felt I might be able to get through transition after all. Plenty of obstacles lay ahead of me but for a couple of nights a trans girl got to have fun.