New....Genderqueer???

[bough-breaking.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone...I'm just looking for some people to talk to, get some stuff out in the open.  I like to go by JL, or LJ simply because they're my initials and I don't have anything better yet.  I'm 21 and I came out as a lesbian this time last year....  Now I'm confused all over again. 

I really like the idea of being genderqueer because it seems to fit, but I often wonder if I'll start transitioning ftm someday in the future.  I've been presenting as more androgynous, but as soon as people meet me and tell them my name is Jenn I'm put into a female box, I hate it.  I bound my chest today (36C) for the first time and I was so excited to have a semi flat chest, and all male clothing.  It was amazing :)

I'm very involved in our LGBT community at my university, and I'm president of our feminist discussion group, but as far as people know I'm just a lesbian that's been wearing more and more boys clothes and presenting as more in between genders... I don't feel like a woman, but I don't want to be a man... I think maybe I can see myself somewhere in between, one day maybe taking steps to transition more towards the middle or male side.  Maybe T, and if binding becomes too troublesome, top surgery may be an option....I haven't gotten that far yet.  Right now I just want to be...I want to talk to people who know what this feels like.  This gender confusion, gender bending, nonconforming feeling of change that hold both positive and negative changes and emotions.  Youtube videos and blogs are keeping my head above water right now...

Any comments or suggestion would be greatly appreciated...Especially because this community seems a lot more active then others

Thanks in advance
Jay L