[identity profile] mordred-sade.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] trans
I was told I might feel emotionally crappy on T, but I never expected it to be THIS bad.

Every day I feel like the life's been sucked out of me. Nothing makes me happy, and nothing helps me be content. I'm constantly ravenously hungry, and I've gained close to 60 pounds since I started T. I'm having sleeping troubles, yet I'm always tired. I've been binging and purging when it comes to food, too, and I'm barely surviving college. I'm going insane, and I'm sick of feeling horrible.

I never felt this way before I started on the birth control, then lupron and testosterone. It's not a medical problem, because I had comprehensive blood tests done and they showed nothing. It's not depression, because I've been depressed before and it feels significantly different. Other people I've talked to at support groups have experienced something similar, and they said it went away eventually, but in some people it took up to FIVE YEARS. I don't have five years to waste--I'm only eighteen!

It's not that I don't like the physical changes--those are the best thing ever. It's the emotional troubles which are getting to me, and I'm kind of desperate. I'm thinking of going off the T for the rest of the semester, or lowering my dosage. Can that be/is that ever done? Or would it be a very stupid idea?
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