trans | Spice and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails (Reply)

Brief introduction since it's my first time posting. I'm a 27 year old transman, who has recently realized that transition is probably the way I need to go for peace of mind. I recently came out to family because of this and that went over like a barrel of dead monkeys. (well, maybe not that badly.)

Now, for what's concerning me. Under the cut for space and so on.

I just started reading 'Becoming a Visible Man' by Jamison Green, and as wonderful and helpful as it is, there are parts of it that are just making me feel so alone in my experiences. I read so many stories of transmen hating dolls and dresses as children, or transwomen wanting dolls and dresses, and though it seems like there are hints of people who didn't share that as children, all I can find in the memories is just that. Hints.

See, my mother's first reaction to my coming out (which I'm aware I botched, but it's in the past and I can't dwell on that along with everything else) is that I was always so “girly.” I know she's viewing the past through her own perception and expectations, which I've known to be skewed for awhile now, but the fact of the matter is, I did play with dolls, I did like pretty dresses. It took me forever to realize that just because I like pretty dresses didn't mean I want to wear them.

Surely I'm not the only person who didn't necessarily challenge or even mind all the gender expectations of their birth sex? I know I can't be, but hearing all the stories that are different than mine makes me feel like I'm alone in this.

Thanks in advance.