trans | Language, a guide for newcomers [Possibly controversial] (Reply)

Hi all. I'm writing this post in response to various recent discussions about the best way to approach people using language which some find offensive, especially if they do so inadvertently. I think it would be helpful to have a "beginners guide to trans-friendly language" with a "Please Read this Before Posting" link in the community rules, in the hope that this will head off some of these inadvertent uses of such language. This is my attempt at a first draft of such a post, and critique is very welcome, as are suggestions of points that I've missed. I hope that once critique is taken into account I can turn this introductory paragraph into a footnote. I'd also like to note that none of these ideas are my original thinking, but a synthesis of things I've read, and sadly not retained enough awareness of exactly what came from where. Now, are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.

Language is important. The words we use shape the way we think, often in ways we're not conciously aware of. They also shape the way other people interpret us, again in ways that we're not expecting, when the words we use have a historical context that we're not aware of or haven't thought much about. This lack of awareness also means that language is difficult, and hurting people with words is easy. The trans community has a long history of being on the sharp end of language, which is used both deliberately and thoughtlessly to deny the validity of our genders. This means that even language which we have been using ourselves until quite recently, on further examination are problematic. Below I've collected some common words, phrases, and constructions, with a short explanation of why they're offensive, and some suggestions for alternatives. Even if you're not sure you agree with the explanation, or you personally don't have a problem with the example, you can easily avoid hurting other people by not using them.

If you're not interested in the explanations then the tl;dr version is:
Don't use "tranny/ie" to describe other people without their permission. Don't use it to describe yourself unless you're a trans woman

Trans (or transexual, or transgender) is an adjective, not a noun, so use the space - trans person/woman/man, not transperson/transwoman/transman

Use (Fe)male-assigned-at-birth (or F/MAAB) rather than born (fe)male, natal (fe)male, bio-(fe)male

Don't use "hermaphrodite" for people - the term you're looking for is intersex

Respect people's wishes about how to refer to their genitals. Don't describe them as "non-functional"
As long as you remember these, you should be alright, but if you're interested in the explanations, read on.

We'll start with the obvious one - tranny/ie. I ~~don't think I really need~~ wish I didn't have to explain why this is offensive, since it's been used consistently since the 80s as a slur for trans women. As with many slurs, some people have started using it as a self-descriptor to reclaim the word, but that absolutely doesn't mean that it's okay to use it for other people unless they've specifically said it's okay. It's also not okay to reclaim words that you haven't been on the sharp end of - it's not okay for gay men to try to reclaim 'dyke', or lesbians to try to reclaim 'faggot'. In the same way, a slur that has been overwhelmingly aimed at women is not for us trans guys to reclaim. This in particular has been the cause of a lot of division and pain when the discussion comes up in the community, so even if you feel that you do have a valid reason for using it, it's best avoided so as not to exacerbate that pain.

Secondly, trans is an adjective, not part of a compound noun, so it's trans person, not transperson. You wouldn't say asianman, gaywoman, disabledperson, because it makes them sound like some wholly seperate species. Don't do it with trans either.

Thirdly, it's quite common to refer to people who were assumed to be (fe)male at birth as bio-(fe)male, biologically (fe)male, born (fe)male, or natal (fe)male, whatever their sex and gender turn out to be in the long run. Most trans people don't feel that they were born one gender, and later switched to another, but that they've always been the gender they are now, so referring to them as born the other gender is inaccurate, and potentially offensive. Saying "biologically (fe)male" is often not useful, as biological sex is far far more complex than it's often given credit for, being a combination of chromosomes, hormones, primary and secondary sexual characteristics, and for most trans (and intersex) people, these different aspects may not all line up as you would expect. If you want to refer to one particular aspect of biology, then refer to it specifically. If what you actually want to do is refer to the gender that a person was assumed to be when they were born then "(fe)male-assigned-at-birth" is a useful phrase. You may often see the acronyms MAAB and FAAB used for this concept.

Fourthly, although the focus here is on trans issues, rather than intersex issues, there's obviously some overlap. Please remember that the correct term for people born with biological sex markers of more than one gender is intersex and not hermaphrodite. The latter is a term for non human animals.

Fifthly and finally, different people have different preferences for the terms they use to refer to their genitals, whatever their surgical status. Even if you are happy referring to your own by the terms of your assigned sex rather than your chosen one, it's extremely disrespectful to tell other people that they should do the same if they choose not to. And vice-versa, of course. One thing in particular that it's not cool to describe other people's genitals as is "non-functional", which is often bandied about regarding the results of ftm lower surgery. Functionality depends on how the owner of said genitals wishes to use them, and just because they don't do everything you would like them to doesn't warrant the sweeping assumption that they don't work for other people.

Thanks for reading this far. I realise that all this may seem quite a lot to take in at first, but don't feel you have to be able to argue these points with all and sundry - just take care not to slip into the bad speech habits yourself, and your time on

transgender is likely to be far pleasanter.

Edit: I'm updating this in response to comments - deletions will appear ~~thus~~ and insertations thus. I'll take the formatting out when something approaching consensus is reached.