My Own Introduction
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:49 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
jitusk.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transI've been a member for a fair bit now, and figured I should go ahead and give myself an introduction here.
I'm Ji. I am 20, bigender, and seeking to transition into what I can only think to describe as an androgyne (or combination, in another manner of description) body. I live in the Netherlands at current, which is an extremely liberal and accepting place. I believe I am very fortunate with that. However, I was born and raised in the United States, so for me I am still coming at all of this from that kind of direction.
On top of that, I only understood myself in this manner recently; after I married a cisgendered man. This, undoubtedly, provides some rougher spots than if I had come to understand this before getting deeply involved with another person.
In any case, my husband claims to be perfectly okay with me being bigender; what he doesn't accept is the way I want my body. I'm not sure if this is because it allows him to overlook and forget the fact that I identify as male as well, but it's always been his thing to look down upon any sort of modifications to ones body. As he tells me, I should accept myself mentally as bigender and physically as female, and that they should compliment each other instead of try to influence each other.
Kind of a conservative, cisgendered way to look at it.
I can't really say anything to alter his perception or get to realise that he's still approaching the whole thing from a fundamental viewpoint that I do not think applies to me.
At the very least, he's told me that even if he dislikes my wishes with my own body, he won't dislike it enough to divorce and leave because he fell in love with me and not my body alone.
I'm now at the point where I'm trying to find a way to tell others; specifically, my own family, who are not from such an accepting culture as my husband's. Although his own family is Dutch, I still am nervous about coming out to them as well.
I'm also trying to find a gender neutral name that works for me, and get the courage to make the change legal. And although it's still too early to make a clear judgment now, I think it will indeed be my goal to get top surgery.
- Ji
I'm Ji. I am 20, bigender, and seeking to transition into what I can only think to describe as an androgyne (or combination, in another manner of description) body. I live in the Netherlands at current, which is an extremely liberal and accepting place. I believe I am very fortunate with that. However, I was born and raised in the United States, so for me I am still coming at all of this from that kind of direction.
On top of that, I only understood myself in this manner recently; after I married a cisgendered man. This, undoubtedly, provides some rougher spots than if I had come to understand this before getting deeply involved with another person.
In any case, my husband claims to be perfectly okay with me being bigender; what he doesn't accept is the way I want my body. I'm not sure if this is because it allows him to overlook and forget the fact that I identify as male as well, but it's always been his thing to look down upon any sort of modifications to ones body. As he tells me, I should accept myself mentally as bigender and physically as female, and that they should compliment each other instead of try to influence each other.
Kind of a conservative, cisgendered way to look at it.
I can't really say anything to alter his perception or get to realise that he's still approaching the whole thing from a fundamental viewpoint that I do not think applies to me.
At the very least, he's told me that even if he dislikes my wishes with my own body, he won't dislike it enough to divorce and leave because he fell in love with me and not my body alone.
I'm now at the point where I'm trying to find a way to tell others; specifically, my own family, who are not from such an accepting culture as my husband's. Although his own family is Dutch, I still am nervous about coming out to them as well.
I'm also trying to find a gender neutral name that works for me, and get the courage to make the change legal. And although it's still too early to make a clear judgment now, I think it will indeed be my goal to get top surgery.
- Ji