[controversial]

[chocolate13fire.livejournal.com]

I understand this post is probably against the rules, so please feel free to delete if it is.

I don't understand this community. I joined because my fiance is FTM and I wanted to perhaps gain some insight about what he is going through. I thought this community would be a friendly place to discuss trans-related topics and I was was happy to read about everyone's experiences.

However, I've come to realize that this community is a joke. People come for advice and insight and are criticized for stupid things such as not being "sensitive" about certain terminology.

PLEASE don't get me wrong. I completely understand that certain phrases/labels are offensive and should not under any circumstances be used.

But REALLY. I have never felt comfortable posting or commenting because I'm so afraid that my words will be misunderstood or taken out of context or whatever. And that is just stupid. I'm so sick of everyone ripping into someone for minor "offenses." And I can't believe that everyone is so sensitive about something so trivial. I think it's really a problem if people are too nervous to post legitimate questions because they are afraid of the landslide of 'you should research that question instead of posting it here' or 'this sounds like something a chaser would say.' SERIOUSLY?? What's the point of this community if we can't ask questions?

I won't pretend to know your experience, and I won't disrespect you by saying that I understand what you are going through. I do understand that it's harder, so maybe I shouldn't be saying any of this. But I just wanted to let out what I thought about all of this before I left.

You point fingers and rant that society sees you as an outcast and a loner and wretch. Perhaps you should embrace those who want to learn about your cause, and not make them feel stupid for asking about your experiences.

-Leslie

EDIT:

I'd like to add a few things:

First of all, I was not solely referring to cis-gendered people when I wrote of all the hostility I've seen. Most of the posts I have seen where hostility and criticism are evident have been made by transgendered individuals looking for specific information.

Secondly, I would like to take back what I said about this community being a joke. That was unfair and I apologize. I would however like to add that while the idea of this community is one that I personally find beneficial (and I am speaking for myself and not anyone else so please don't attack me with some nonsense about how 'your space' is not for my poor cisgendered benefit), it seems that there is simply too much hostility (again, for my own taste, I do not wish to generalize).

ONE LAST EDIT:

Thank you to everyone who answered my post rationally, there were several commentor's that really made me think about some of the points I made, and I appreciate your insight.

To everyone else, I don't consider myself 'privilaged' because I am cisgendered. And I am very sorry to all of you you see me as that. Perhaps I am an idealist, but I would never, never see one person as privilaged over another. Perhaps I have some things easier than others. Perhaps not. No one can really say.

In any case, I never meant to come off as offensive. I wish you all well.

-Leslie