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Feb. 10th, 2010 05:15 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
nathan-dorian.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transI've been avoiding mentioning this, but..
The PCT refused to fund a referral to a GIC a few weeks ago, again.
And I found out that the PCT in Milton Keynes (where I'm moving to, hopefully in the summer) is very similar to my current local PCT and so is also incredibly likely to refuse funding.
This means that I need to pay for hormones for the rest of my life, and I also need to fund a mastectomy.
I am unable to work due to poor mental health and so I live off of.. Not much money. It's going to be hard enough finding support when I move out, I'll be praying that I can still afford the Nebido okay.
But there is absolutely no way that I can ever afford a mastectomy, and I cannot get a loan.
A mastectomy is.. The most important thing in the world to me. Far more important than hormones.
I would rather live as a woman than live as a man with breasts, and if I cannot find some way to afford a mastectomy.. I will be forced to either live a lie, or kill myself.
I know that this is dumb, stupid priorities, immature and... Gah. All of my life I have been putting things before my gender identity, telling myself that it's okay that things have been slower than I wanted (for the past 6-7 years) but I just.. I'm finally at the end of my rope, you know?
Any advice would be extremely appreciated.
The PCT refused to fund a referral to a GIC a few weeks ago, again.
And I found out that the PCT in Milton Keynes (where I'm moving to, hopefully in the summer) is very similar to my current local PCT and so is also incredibly likely to refuse funding.
This means that I need to pay for hormones for the rest of my life, and I also need to fund a mastectomy.
I am unable to work due to poor mental health and so I live off of.. Not much money. It's going to be hard enough finding support when I move out, I'll be praying that I can still afford the Nebido okay.
But there is absolutely no way that I can ever afford a mastectomy, and I cannot get a loan.
A mastectomy is.. The most important thing in the world to me. Far more important than hormones.
I would rather live as a woman than live as a man with breasts, and if I cannot find some way to afford a mastectomy.. I will be forced to either live a lie, or kill myself.
I know that this is dumb, stupid priorities, immature and... Gah. All of my life I have been putting things before my gender identity, telling myself that it's okay that things have been slower than I wanted (for the past 6-7 years) but I just.. I'm finally at the end of my rope, you know?
Any advice would be extremely appreciated.