third party friendship

[soudabay.livejournal.com]

OKAY FIRST OFF, IF I OFFEND ANYONE I APOLOGIZE IMMEDIATELY, FORGIVE ME FOR MY IGNORANCE AND LACK OF KNOWLEDGE.

Okay I am interested in an older man mid forties, and we have a semi tight social circle, he's recently he's been pursuring a relationship with me, but we have this attractive male/female friend in her early twenties.  They have a very close friendship, they've known eachother less than 6 months, where he calls her one his best friend, he gives or lets her borrow a great amount of money, whether she returns it or not; not a huge deal to him, they go out to eat, he's boughten her things here and there.   I informed him of something going around in the community; regarding her status/lifestyle with the older religious people are starting to find out who she really is, and it's affecting them harshly,  I personally don't care how he/she lives her life or the outcome of her life.  I care for her as a person but those are very personal decisions that have nothing to do with me.   When I informed him of the older people he lashed out to me.

Saying "im very protective of her cause I made a promise awhile back that i would look after her and protect her! We have a relationship that is very special to me, and I care for deeply!  and for me to not call her any names and to only call her by which name she goes by and that's it; or otherwise he's going to get really pissed!"  

I would never do anything to step on peoples' feelings because everyone has feelings and we all get sensitive.  I was informing him of the news going around because she is out of town and will be back to our community and since I know they are friends, or close friends he may be able to soften blows should there be any surprises popping up upon her arrival back....  But he's reaction shocked me,

Now as a female interested in a  man, I started to further think that relationship.  And I don't mind if they are strictly platonic friends, I would get involved with the older man.   But if they have been involved and to what extent and how far along she is in her transexual process is; and for me to be involved with a man that's been involved is entirely too much for me to deal with.  I'm right between their ages, and am slightly conservate, slightly old fashion, there are a million people out there for me to be involved with; and I've meet a lot of people in my life; but I've never met a "friendship" like this.

I will bring it up to him, he is tempemental (moody) and reacts quickly. I may not get a straight answer and still be confused.  So, I want some advice and or guidance.  I am very new to this world and don't know if this is normal for a "heterosexual" man being so caring and so protective with a transgender male/female.  Or is it he's homosexual, because she hasn't gotten the surgery, or is he bi? I haven't met any men in my life that are this protective and caring towards someone like that. Even with me, that I've known him for 3 months and have gotten inolved; he doesn't act that way towards me whatsoever.   It's not a jealousy thing, it's an observation and I need to clear things in my head before things progress.  

Again, sorry if I wasn't politically correct, or stepped on peoples' toes.  I'M SORRY, ignorance...and a different lifestyle.

I'd really appreciate anyone's opinons, inputs, advice; whatever is out there. I would be great