Resolution!
Jun. 8th, 2011 04:20 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
trailrat.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transIs there a difference between "acceptance" and "coming to terms"?
Couple of months ago I wrote a thread, well a rant actually about my last appointment with a certain Dr with a certain reputation at the GIC in Charing Cross. For those that missed it or want to refer to it here is the link - transgender.livejournal.com/2455912.html
Well, after I had calmed down and read through all the comments I wrote a letter of complaint. The next day I wrote another one, this time without the profanities and a little bit more like I'd be proud to hand it to my English Teacher! I didn't use the big angry red crayon on the second letter either!
I got a reply to that letter in the form of a phone call asking me what I wanted as a result of the complaint and how the procedure works. I told them I'd rather like it if I didn't have to see the Dr again. Asking for him to strung up from a street light was stupid, I know but I actually did say that! What can I say, the guy had really pissed me off!
Anyway, the complaints investigation takes 28 days and Monday I got the letter outlining the outcome. I could bore you with the whole letter if you like but I'll spare you the dull bits!
The letter starts with establishing that I have been in attendance since September 2009, changed my name last September and started hormone in January of this year! It also states that I have seen Dr B three times and Dr L three times. Also, I was told that as part of the investigation my files were looked over and Dr B was interviewed! (I only hope electricity and a bright shiny light in a dark room was used!)
Quote from the letter -
"His conclusion, outlined in the letter, were in that in his view you were only just managing in a female role and as yet had not gained acceptance from your family. Dr Barrett's advice to got your grandmother's funeral in a female role was given in order to promote and progress your Real Life Experience in relation to your family. He also highlighted in his letter concerns that if you did not find occupation fairly quickly he anticipated that precipitous social decline would follow."
"Finally he stated - "She will be reviewed in due course when I do hope that she has managed to address these things, as I had a fairly frank conversation appraising her of how I saw things moving or, perhaps, not moving particularly quickly."
The rest of the letter states that Dr B had no intention of bully me and acknowledges that his conversation was quite frank in nature. He also states this is his usual tact for patients in a similar social circumstances. It also states that occupation is a very important element in terms of clinic protocol regarding Real Life Experiences! It also states that Dr B had no opinion on my choice of attire on the day of my appointment!
The summary -
"In summary Dr Barrett's advice was given in good faith and in order to facilitate your further progress within a female role. He acknowledged that some of his remarks were frank in nature, however he had concerns as to your lack of progress together with your social and economic circumstances. I am sorry for any offence this caused you and I hope that the explanation above helps you understand Dr Barrett's motives"
It finishes by saying I won't get a further appointment with Dr Barrett as I have requested! So I assume I'll continue to see Dr L and be assigned another Dr should second consultancy be required. Here's hoping!
I started this post with a question, I won't make you go back up and read it! Is there a difference between "acceptance" and "coming to terms"? I think there is, but whilst I was typing this I realize I may have the two backwards. I think my parents have accepted what I have presented them with but are now in the "coming to terms" with what that means! I don't know, like I say. I probably have it backwards and Dr B is right on that!
As for his motives. I understand his motives, it's his technique that I have issues with. I don't get asked why I'm failing in a female role just battered with lectures on what he thinks is stopping me from progressing!
And I won't get started on what's holding me back, work wise, as it's too long winded and really not indicative of my trans status but rather my other various hang ups!
Oh, and I asked my Mum her opinion on the letter and she agrees with Dr B on the stumbling block in my female progress. So I asked her what I should be doing. Bearing in mind last September when I told my Mum about the name change she burst in to tears for a whole day! Now I'm asking what I can do to be a better women! Anyway, she said I tend to revert and "slob out"! She said I should shave every day and put on a basic foundation everyday, even if I'm not going out! I don't shave everyday because I tend to get depressed with the results. I also see a thick shadow no matter how close or how bloody my shaving gets! She reckons by shaving everyday and putting make up on over the top will hide the negativity I see in the result! I don't do the make up everyday because I worry about the cost and don't see the point unless I'm going out! Thinking on this I have decided that I shall attempt to shave every day and use a basic layer of foundation everyday.
I am going to have to chase up a few things with Dr L but that'll have to wait till August when my next appointment is!
Thank you for reading! Comments and Questions in the usual place. Leave your tray tables in their upright position and remember this is a residential area, so please leave quietly!
Couple of months ago I wrote a thread, well a rant actually about my last appointment with a certain Dr with a certain reputation at the GIC in Charing Cross. For those that missed it or want to refer to it here is the link - transgender.livejournal.com/2455912.html
Well, after I had calmed down and read through all the comments I wrote a letter of complaint. The next day I wrote another one, this time without the profanities and a little bit more like I'd be proud to hand it to my English Teacher! I didn't use the big angry red crayon on the second letter either!
I got a reply to that letter in the form of a phone call asking me what I wanted as a result of the complaint and how the procedure works. I told them I'd rather like it if I didn't have to see the Dr again. Asking for him to strung up from a street light was stupid, I know but I actually did say that! What can I say, the guy had really pissed me off!
Anyway, the complaints investigation takes 28 days and Monday I got the letter outlining the outcome. I could bore you with the whole letter if you like but I'll spare you the dull bits!
The letter starts with establishing that I have been in attendance since September 2009, changed my name last September and started hormone in January of this year! It also states that I have seen Dr B three times and Dr L three times. Also, I was told that as part of the investigation my files were looked over and Dr B was interviewed! (I only hope electricity and a bright shiny light in a dark room was used!)
Quote from the letter -
"His conclusion, outlined in the letter, were in that in his view you were only just managing in a female role and as yet had not gained acceptance from your family. Dr Barrett's advice to got your grandmother's funeral in a female role was given in order to promote and progress your Real Life Experience in relation to your family. He also highlighted in his letter concerns that if you did not find occupation fairly quickly he anticipated that precipitous social decline would follow."
"Finally he stated - "She will be reviewed in due course when I do hope that she has managed to address these things, as I had a fairly frank conversation appraising her of how I saw things moving or, perhaps, not moving particularly quickly."
The rest of the letter states that Dr B had no intention of bully me and acknowledges that his conversation was quite frank in nature. He also states this is his usual tact for patients in a similar social circumstances. It also states that occupation is a very important element in terms of clinic protocol regarding Real Life Experiences! It also states that Dr B had no opinion on my choice of attire on the day of my appointment!
The summary -
"In summary Dr Barrett's advice was given in good faith and in order to facilitate your further progress within a female role. He acknowledged that some of his remarks were frank in nature, however he had concerns as to your lack of progress together with your social and economic circumstances. I am sorry for any offence this caused you and I hope that the explanation above helps you understand Dr Barrett's motives"
It finishes by saying I won't get a further appointment with Dr Barrett as I have requested! So I assume I'll continue to see Dr L and be assigned another Dr should second consultancy be required. Here's hoping!
I started this post with a question, I won't make you go back up and read it! Is there a difference between "acceptance" and "coming to terms"? I think there is, but whilst I was typing this I realize I may have the two backwards. I think my parents have accepted what I have presented them with but are now in the "coming to terms" with what that means! I don't know, like I say. I probably have it backwards and Dr B is right on that!
As for his motives. I understand his motives, it's his technique that I have issues with. I don't get asked why I'm failing in a female role just battered with lectures on what he thinks is stopping me from progressing!
And I won't get started on what's holding me back, work wise, as it's too long winded and really not indicative of my trans status but rather my other various hang ups!
Oh, and I asked my Mum her opinion on the letter and she agrees with Dr B on the stumbling block in my female progress. So I asked her what I should be doing. Bearing in mind last September when I told my Mum about the name change she burst in to tears for a whole day! Now I'm asking what I can do to be a better women! Anyway, she said I tend to revert and "slob out"! She said I should shave every day and put on a basic foundation everyday, even if I'm not going out! I don't shave everyday because I tend to get depressed with the results. I also see a thick shadow no matter how close or how bloody my shaving gets! She reckons by shaving everyday and putting make up on over the top will hide the negativity I see in the result! I don't do the make up everyday because I worry about the cost and don't see the point unless I'm going out! Thinking on this I have decided that I shall attempt to shave every day and use a basic layer of foundation everyday.
I am going to have to chase up a few things with Dr L but that'll have to wait till August when my next appointment is!
Thank you for reading! Comments and Questions in the usual place. Leave your tray tables in their upright position and remember this is a residential area, so please leave quietly!
