Transition and Job-hunting

[soltice.livejournal.com]

My family decided to "talk" with me yesterday morning. They felt they needed to clear the air reguarding my trans-status, their feelings and whatnot. For the most part things went well, no screaming, pronouncments of demoic possession, etc.,  but the conversation led to these points:

1. We don't want you do be that way in this house
2. Once you get your own place, we don't care what you do
3. You won't be able to get your own place without a reail job
4. You won't get such a job without presenting yourself as male

Particularly that last point unnerved me. I was unable to convice them that it was impossible, and that the results of doing so would be far, far, worse. However, I cannot escape the logic behind that last point.

When I sent out resumes, even schedule interviews, I have continued to use my old name and it's associated pronouns. But when I go to the interviews, things seem to go completely wrong. I try to dress andrognyously, and my hair is a little past shoulder length.

For some positions, the interviewer doesn't give any clue if this appearence raises any concerns. These, however, are higher up positions of which I'm certainly underqualified. When it comes to the entry level jobs, the ones I would have no difficulty in working, the opposite occurs. All enthusiasim they've shown me in the phone calls vanishes. Mostly, they act as if they've already rejected me and are simply going through the motions.

I've rationalized for a while that this was kind of a test for them. If the interviewer can't handle this, how could they when I continue to pursue transition while working?  I knew it would be difficult, but now with the situation I must live with at home, I'm not sure what to do.

I won't negate all the progress I've made over the last two years, as they suggest, but I'm afraid that simply continuing on as I am with my job hunt with result in nothing but rejections. The only other choice I seem to have to go the opposite way:

I could have my birth certificate amended, at least in name not if not also in gender. Then I could present as female in my interviews. But this causes another problem. I have several letters of recommendation from all my previous employers, all under my old name. I never came out to any of them, and I'm concerned they might retract those letters if I requested an update.  And those letters have been quite valuable in the few interviews I have received.

Any ideas of what to do?