Coming out to family
Jul. 22nd, 2004 11:40 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
serielle.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transI was never particularly articulate as a child, and have always kept everything to myself. As so my family doesn't have a clue of my being transgendered.
When I finally came to terms with it, I thought that the best course of action was to keep my mouth shut until I graduate highschool and go to college, and then I can start transitioning and tell my family about it.
However, I'm finding the wait unbearable, and I've been entertaining thoughts about telling my mother. Everything in my head tells me that's a bad, bad idea. She's religious, and will automatically have a bad reaction to it. I haven't told her I'm bi-sexual or that I'm agnostic for the same reason. I don't want the drama this would create.
I seriously doubt she'll accept this part of me in any reasonable amount of time, much less let me transition. However, something in the back of my mind hopes that she will and wants to take the risk. I know that she loves me and will be willing to bend to make me happy, but honestly I have no idea wether this is too much as it goes against a lot of what she believes in.
The other issue is that my relationship with my mother isn't all that great to begin with, mostly due to the fact that her upbringing is formal, and has a lot of notions of what constitute "proper" behavior that I don't agree with, but also because of the resentment I carry from the fact that she wouldn't like a lot of my personality if she was privy to it.
So if she doesn't react well to this, it might just push our relationship to the point where life will become a lot less pleasent.
I know she doesn't agree with homosexuality. I'm dating a woman right now, and so in her eyes I'm straight. If I transition, she'll have to accept that I'm in a gay relationship, which just adds to the difficulty of the situation.
So it's a bit of a gamble. Tell her and maybe I'll end up better than where I am, or tell her and make life hell.
The last thing is, I'm seeing a therapist right now for depression (which is in large part due to being dysphoric). She doesn't know yet, but I plan on telling her soon enough. If she's favourable to it, that might lend credibility to my words if I tell my mother, since she's fond of that particular therapist too.
When I finally came to terms with it, I thought that the best course of action was to keep my mouth shut until I graduate highschool and go to college, and then I can start transitioning and tell my family about it.
However, I'm finding the wait unbearable, and I've been entertaining thoughts about telling my mother. Everything in my head tells me that's a bad, bad idea. She's religious, and will automatically have a bad reaction to it. I haven't told her I'm bi-sexual or that I'm agnostic for the same reason. I don't want the drama this would create.
I seriously doubt she'll accept this part of me in any reasonable amount of time, much less let me transition. However, something in the back of my mind hopes that she will and wants to take the risk. I know that she loves me and will be willing to bend to make me happy, but honestly I have no idea wether this is too much as it goes against a lot of what she believes in.
The other issue is that my relationship with my mother isn't all that great to begin with, mostly due to the fact that her upbringing is formal, and has a lot of notions of what constitute "proper" behavior that I don't agree with, but also because of the resentment I carry from the fact that she wouldn't like a lot of my personality if she was privy to it.
So if she doesn't react well to this, it might just push our relationship to the point where life will become a lot less pleasent.
I know she doesn't agree with homosexuality. I'm dating a woman right now, and so in her eyes I'm straight. If I transition, she'll have to accept that I'm in a gay relationship, which just adds to the difficulty of the situation.
So it's a bit of a gamble. Tell her and maybe I'll end up better than where I am, or tell her and make life hell.
The last thing is, I'm seeing a therapist right now for depression (which is in large part due to being dysphoric). She doesn't know yet, but I plan on telling her soon enough. If she's favourable to it, that might lend credibility to my words if I tell my mother, since she's fond of that particular therapist too.
