Transitional phase... the pain
Mar. 4th, 2005 11:47 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
jessynecessity.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transReflection on Transition...
At what point do you reach in your transition where you bitterly HATE your family??? I think I have just made it. I just looked at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sugarstar16's post, and realized that good parents DO exist.
Not mine. My parents shoved me into the Army roughly, to make me a man, as an Airborne Ranger. My best friend was killed in action on this day. (if you care to learn more, go to my LJ-jessynecessity)
RIP: Matt Commons!
KIA: 4 Mar 02, Roberts Ridge, Afghanistan in support of Operation Anaconda.
Miss ya buddy!
This is the absolute WORST day of the year for me. I had aquaintences KIA, but Matt, Justin, and I were closer than stink on shit! We drank down on Riverstreet in Savannah, GA together. We partied together. We fought together. God I miss him! Why did I do this? So I could "man up" for parents who abused me every time I did something feminine. So I could PROVE TO THE WORLD that I wasn't the dirty little pervert everyone told me I was. So I wouldn't be "daddies little faggot boy" anymore (yes my Dad said that).
I fought, sweat, blood, and tears, hiked the hills, took lives, and lost best friends, so i could return to the states, sink into depression, and be thrown away like shit by my family...
I am not asking for sympathy here, so please dont bother... but I do wonder, at what point do you simply bottle up your anger, and turn it into hatred and bitterness? I am there... and I cant forgive my family for all they have done to me.
At what point do you reach in your transition where you bitterly HATE your family??? I think I have just made it. I just looked at
sugarstar16's post, and realized that good parents DO exist. Not mine. My parents shoved me into the Army roughly, to make me a man, as an Airborne Ranger. My best friend was killed in action on this day. (if you care to learn more, go to my LJ-
jessynecessity)RIP: Matt Commons!
KIA: 4 Mar 02, Roberts Ridge, Afghanistan in support of Operation Anaconda.
Miss ya buddy!
This is the absolute WORST day of the year for me. I had aquaintences KIA, but Matt, Justin, and I were closer than stink on shit! We drank down on Riverstreet in Savannah, GA together. We partied together. We fought together. God I miss him! Why did I do this? So I could "man up" for parents who abused me every time I did something feminine. So I could PROVE TO THE WORLD that I wasn't the dirty little pervert everyone told me I was. So I wouldn't be "daddies little faggot boy" anymore (yes my Dad said that).
I fought, sweat, blood, and tears, hiked the hills, took lives, and lost best friends, so i could return to the states, sink into depression, and be thrown away like shit by my family...
I am not asking for sympathy here, so please dont bother... but I do wonder, at what point do you simply bottle up your anger, and turn it into hatred and bitterness? I am there... and I cant forgive my family for all they have done to me.
