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Mar. 14th, 2005 09:58 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
chooseareality.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transHelp!! How can I deal with this without transitioning? I don't want to lose it all!!!
I have the family the kids and the life I always wanted and I just want this to go away. This curse is horrible and I can't understand why it keeps beating on my thoughts. I just want it gone.
Someone please tell me there is a way, something I can do besides this.
I hate that I actually consider losing it all over quitting hormones and burying this. I hate that I actually hesitate over which choice is the best. All my life I have wanted a family, I have wanted this life, I have also wanted to be a girl. Why can't I just let go of the one I don't have and settle with the ones I have.
Why do I have so much trouble putting my family before me? Why does this fight with myself seem like I am ridicuously selfish and uncaring concerning my family?
You don't really have to reply to this. I just know that all of you are about the only ones that can understand what my head is doing to me.
I have the family the kids and the life I always wanted and I just want this to go away. This curse is horrible and I can't understand why it keeps beating on my thoughts. I just want it gone.
Someone please tell me there is a way, something I can do besides this.
I hate that I actually consider losing it all over quitting hormones and burying this. I hate that I actually hesitate over which choice is the best. All my life I have wanted a family, I have wanted this life, I have also wanted to be a girl. Why can't I just let go of the one I don't have and settle with the ones I have.
Why do I have so much trouble putting my family before me? Why does this fight with myself seem like I am ridicuously selfish and uncaring concerning my family?
You don't really have to reply to this. I just know that all of you are about the only ones that can understand what my head is doing to me.
