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May. 22nd, 2005 09:36 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
eastyn.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transHey everyone, I'm new here.
My name is Eastyn, I'm a 16 (almost 17) year old FTM living in Alberta, Canada.
I've been out to my parents for close to a year now, and they've been 110% supportive in appointments and researching and everything. My parents accept me for me, and love me no matter what.
Just this week, I've come out to both of my sisters, who were also supporting and accepting, though somewhat confused. My coming out has been great so far, and I couldn't ask for anything better.
I just have a question for all of you, be you FTM or MTF.
Has there ever been times where you've doubted that you are FTM/MTF? Have you ever thought that maybe it really is a phase? Maybe you can be okay with living as the sex you were born as? Maybe it isn't so horrible? Maybe you should just try it? Maybe it's not that bad?
I don't know. I'm doubting myself lately..this last month or two. I just.. sit alone in my room and think about all the things that have happened, and everything going on in my life. Do I really want hormones, and the irreversible changes? do I really want to change my name, even though I love it? Do I really want to tell everyone around me? Am I really a transgendered person? Am I merely confused? Was I subliminally cohorced into thinking I'm transgendered by reading up on it? Do I really want a flat chest and a penis and to be a man?
Sometimes I say no. I'm okay with being a girl. As long as I can dress like a boy and act like a boy and have short hair like a boy and be called by a boy name... it doesn't seem that awful to have a female's body. Sometimes i think maybe I'm not trans. Maybe I'm just confused.
And I almost feel like... now that I've come out I just have to go along with it, you know? I don't know what to do. I'm unsure of how I feel. I'm just so.. Gah. I don't know anymore. Last year at this time I was 100% sure. And now.. I'm about 60%. I don't know anymore. I don't know.
Do any of you get like this? Do any of you feel this at all? Or am I simply just screwed...?
-Eastyn
x-posted
My name is Eastyn, I'm a 16 (almost 17) year old FTM living in Alberta, Canada.
I've been out to my parents for close to a year now, and they've been 110% supportive in appointments and researching and everything. My parents accept me for me, and love me no matter what.
Just this week, I've come out to both of my sisters, who were also supporting and accepting, though somewhat confused. My coming out has been great so far, and I couldn't ask for anything better.
I just have a question for all of you, be you FTM or MTF.
Has there ever been times where you've doubted that you are FTM/MTF? Have you ever thought that maybe it really is a phase? Maybe you can be okay with living as the sex you were born as? Maybe it isn't so horrible? Maybe you should just try it? Maybe it's not that bad?
I don't know. I'm doubting myself lately..this last month or two. I just.. sit alone in my room and think about all the things that have happened, and everything going on in my life. Do I really want hormones, and the irreversible changes? do I really want to change my name, even though I love it? Do I really want to tell everyone around me? Am I really a transgendered person? Am I merely confused? Was I subliminally cohorced into thinking I'm transgendered by reading up on it? Do I really want a flat chest and a penis and to be a man?
Sometimes I say no. I'm okay with being a girl. As long as I can dress like a boy and act like a boy and have short hair like a boy and be called by a boy name... it doesn't seem that awful to have a female's body. Sometimes i think maybe I'm not trans. Maybe I'm just confused.
And I almost feel like... now that I've come out I just have to go along with it, you know? I don't know what to do. I'm unsure of how I feel. I'm just so.. Gah. I don't know anymore. Last year at this time I was 100% sure. And now.. I'm about 60%. I don't know anymore. I don't know.
Do any of you get like this? Do any of you feel this at all? Or am I simply just screwed...?
-Eastyn
x-posted