(no subject)

[pdxkate.livejournal.com]

So Im having a crisis as to whether I should just be like ever other lesbian on the planet and depend on sperm from outside sources, or whether I should delay my transition so that I can get my little factories back in order enough to make babies.

I don't think that I can emotionally handle letting my body fall back into the clutches of testosterone for a whole month. I'm so scared that the results that I've been having, the momentum my body has in moving towards femininity will be ruined by taking a month off. I really can't stand the idea.

My spiro came today, I've been off of it a month and its killing me. I want to take it now not wait ANOTHER month to get my sperm count up.

I need to choose, and I think I'm choosing today. Do I push the necessities of my transition further down the road, and suffer emotional trauma for the sake of having children with my exact genetic code? Or do I go with my heart and continue transitioning with the full knowledge that I can have kids with a loving partner and raise children who know me as mom even without there being genetic similarities?


Im going to go cry now :(