Percolation

[stacis-leak.livejournal.com]

I mean... don't people gossip anymore?

I hear posts from people who come out to their parents and their parents immediately run to other family members or family friends for support and whilst this often leads to rejection for a wider social circle, it at least spreads the word.

I feel like I have to come out to EVERYONE, one by one, face to face, because no one I come out to wants to have to tell anyone else.

So Becca refuses to tell her parents, siting that it's my responsibility to tell them that her daughter is a lesbian.

My parents have forbidden me from telling my Gran and guilt tripped me into actually listening but meanwhile they've told no one else.

I'd like to try and talk people into spreading the word, but more importantly I want to make sure that they get the word right. You know times have gotten bad when you feel so uncomfortable talking to them that you have to email your parents, even though you live with them.

This is part of the subconscious blockage system they installed into me as a child which probably kept me very well behaved for many years before I started to realise it had also stopped me developing as a well rounded self-aware adult.

So I'm going to email my parents with thing to relate.

The first is that I'd like them to try using my new name, and shifting their pronoun usage, like everybody else has.

The second is for them to read something ANYTHING to educate them about the process of transition and the challenges I'll face.

Thirdly that after having snuck around for them not letting the neighbours/family see me en femme for a year now, I've decided to stop hiding myself away just to make them feel less uncomfortable. Additionally they are welcome to discuss any issues they have with me.

The problem in thefirst case is a lack of a united front.

No one seems willing to phone the house and ask for Stacy yet. No one wants to be the first, so while I'm trying to explain that virutally no one uses my old name, every call to the house for me uses it.

Becca labels everything with my old name. It's in her phone, on the filing system she set up in the room (which is ONLY for us so why bother omitting my new name?) She says she doesn't want to change her phone because it's too much bother. I offered to change it and she said that I was thefirst P in her phone book but I wouldn't be her first S, so it's less effort to call using my old name.
She also still picks her lucky ciagerette by going though the alphabet up to P.

I don't want to nag her too much but I'd really like to know if other people think I should bitch at her a little more about this or whether it's asking too much of her to change so much behaviour.

For the second point I'm pondering WHAT I should ask them to read. I found a good page on Gires, which seemed good for families but there's still the fact that I bought them a book 6 months ago which hasn't left the shelf yet.

Can anyone think of a short resource which will tell them everything they need to know?

For the last point, I don't want to sound confrontational, but I want them to know that I'm going to stop being specifically non-confrontational and that I'd like it if they could show some support rather than attempting to distance themselves.

Does anyone have any pointers or tips for how I should phrase this sort of thing or any thing I should add which I've missed?



Oh, additionally, I've made a bit of a blanket statement there which has a few exceptions. Andy told his family, as did Josie and Cathy.