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Dec. 14th, 2006 10:00 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
stephtheb.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transMy mom just doesn't get it. I've been out to her as trans since 11th grade and I'm now a junior in college. When I came out her first response was absolutely 'no.' After a while when I would keep changing my appearance to more masculine she would bring it up and we would talk but it would always end in tears and I would just tell her not to worry just so I could end the conversation. Then it got a little better once I was in college and we would talk about the subject and she would say that she'd never accept me as her son BUT as long as I graduated college then she has no holds on me and I can do what I want. So its been like that ever since freshman year. I just recently last year gave her a booklet of things about transgender issues and got her to watch the whole season of "Transgeneration." (Side note: My dad TOTALLY turned around and is now 100% supportive of me after seeing transgeneration so think about buying that and getting them to watch it!)
Anyway- I'm home for break now and my mom when everybody is gone asks me if I am alright and if i'm happy concerning the trans thing. I think shes really worried about suicide issues because it mentioned them in the booklet I gave her and also recently this month two of my little sisters friends committed suicide. I told her I was fine but that I'm still planning on transitioning and I had to explain again everything that T was going to do to me. I feel like it is just going straight through her or something because she asks me the same exact question everytime...."what exactly will the testosterone do to you?" Shes read my papers, shes seen transgeneration, and I tell her all the affects all the time. What gives? Then she brought up surgery and says she wishes I just wouldn't do that. Which doesn't make sense because I think T is a bigger deal. A female identified person would get chest surgery over going on T I would think. Her only defense was 'the guy on transgeneration's chest looked horrible." I feel like its useless!
I feel like I need to be more forceful about everything and maybe that would do something but I dunno what to do. Honestly she is the only thing holding me back from starting T. Damn mommy complexes!
Anyway- I'm home for break now and my mom when everybody is gone asks me if I am alright and if i'm happy concerning the trans thing. I think shes really worried about suicide issues because it mentioned them in the booklet I gave her and also recently this month two of my little sisters friends committed suicide. I told her I was fine but that I'm still planning on transitioning and I had to explain again everything that T was going to do to me. I feel like it is just going straight through her or something because she asks me the same exact question everytime...."what exactly will the testosterone do to you?" Shes read my papers, shes seen transgeneration, and I tell her all the affects all the time. What gives? Then she brought up surgery and says she wishes I just wouldn't do that. Which doesn't make sense because I think T is a bigger deal. A female identified person would get chest surgery over going on T I would think. Her only defense was 'the guy on transgeneration's chest looked horrible." I feel like its useless!
I feel like I need to be more forceful about everything and maybe that would do something but I dunno what to do. Honestly she is the only thing holding me back from starting T. Damn mommy complexes!