Me and my secret desires!!
Feb. 9th, 2007 04:03 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
jonnytwojonnie.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transThis is hard to do but this is something I wanted to get out in the open.
While Lj helps admit and talk about my being transgendered.
Some things are still hard to talk about even among the most liberal and accepting of people this is something I haven't talked about before for fear of rejection and that I thought I only wanted people to perceive me a certain way. But I realize I'm just holding something from me and I would miss out on alot. I need to get this out,so people will know who I am, so I know who I am....
This may sound silly to most but I just want to put this out in the open even if no one reads it? I consider myself a lesbian because I am attracted to women and because I view myself as a girl too. Early on this was limited to only cisgender girls who were born a girl and had a vagina, but I always thought that non-op MtF's were highly attractive if not equal too or more than cisgender girls.
I saw an ad in a porn longtime ago that had a picture of a women with a penis and ( at the time) was one of the most weirdest and amazing things I had ever seen. My friend who had found the porn was like all eww at it and I agreed and never said anything about it. But I wonder how she got like that how that was possible? I learned as I got older of course and discovering the trans community and all.
I want to be a girl, but I also want to keep my penis. It doesn't bother me and its fun to play with. The whole thing is I wanted to be a true lesbian, a women with a women, female on female. To do this I thought I could only be attracted to cisgender girls born that way. But I myself was not a cisgender girl born in a girls body. Even if I did get SRS I still would have once had a penis. If I perceive myself as true girl on the inside and want to keep my penis why should I think less of others like me or that their not real girls too.
I find a girl with a penis just as attractive as a girl with a vagina. I've come to my own conclusion that having anal sex with a non-op MtF doesn't make me any less of a lesbian, Because I'm attracted to their femaleness ( for lack of a better term). I don't care if a girl has a penis or a vagina. She's a women and thats what I like about her!!
Like wise if a guy had a penis or a vagina, I wouldn't like him cause he's a guy!!
If you read all that I feel sorry for ya. Just my rant! Any and all comments if any are welcome, whether you disagree or agree. Just something I wanted to get out in the open.
I like non-op Mtfs for their own physical beauty that they have. I tired of being ashamed to admit that, and I don't want my fears to rule me anymore. I hope one day when I find the courage to transition and after that I can find a nice Mtf to be with and have a Lesbian relationship with I will love her for all she is and she will love me for all I am, even if we both have penis it won't matter because were both girls!!!
While Lj helps admit and talk about my being transgendered.
Some things are still hard to talk about even among the most liberal and accepting of people this is something I haven't talked about before for fear of rejection and that I thought I only wanted people to perceive me a certain way. But I realize I'm just holding something from me and I would miss out on alot. I need to get this out,so people will know who I am, so I know who I am....
This may sound silly to most but I just want to put this out in the open even if no one reads it? I consider myself a lesbian because I am attracted to women and because I view myself as a girl too. Early on this was limited to only cisgender girls who were born a girl and had a vagina, but I always thought that non-op MtF's were highly attractive if not equal too or more than cisgender girls.
I saw an ad in a porn longtime ago that had a picture of a women with a penis and ( at the time) was one of the most weirdest and amazing things I had ever seen. My friend who had found the porn was like all eww at it and I agreed and never said anything about it. But I wonder how she got like that how that was possible? I learned as I got older of course and discovering the trans community and all.
I want to be a girl, but I also want to keep my penis. It doesn't bother me and its fun to play with. The whole thing is I wanted to be a true lesbian, a women with a women, female on female. To do this I thought I could only be attracted to cisgender girls born that way. But I myself was not a cisgender girl born in a girls body. Even if I did get SRS I still would have once had a penis. If I perceive myself as true girl on the inside and want to keep my penis why should I think less of others like me or that their not real girls too.
I find a girl with a penis just as attractive as a girl with a vagina. I've come to my own conclusion that having anal sex with a non-op MtF doesn't make me any less of a lesbian, Because I'm attracted to their femaleness ( for lack of a better term). I don't care if a girl has a penis or a vagina. She's a women and thats what I like about her!!
Like wise if a guy had a penis or a vagina, I wouldn't like him cause he's a guy!!
If you read all that I feel sorry for ya. Just my rant! Any and all comments if any are welcome, whether you disagree or agree. Just something I wanted to get out in the open.
I like non-op Mtfs for their own physical beauty that they have. I tired of being ashamed to admit that, and I don't want my fears to rule me anymore. I hope one day when I find the courage to transition and after that I can find a nice Mtf to be with and have a Lesbian relationship with I will love her for all she is and she will love me for all I am, even if we both have penis it won't matter because were both girls!!!
