Publicity.
Feb. 16th, 2007 06:06 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
stacis-leak.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transIt's time to put my money where my mouth is.
Well.. actually no, it's time to put my face on my argument.
I've done lots of soul searching of late, answering posts about the real heavy meat and bones of what transitioning means, how I'll deal with my past, how I'll deal with it in the future, whether I'll be out and proud, whether I'll try to go stealth, whether I'll cut myself off from the h8ers (and their lousy phone text spellings) and as often happens in these cases I had to talk to someone else before I realised how I felt about the subject.
My brain is a big quaking mass of obfuscated thoughts and concepts. Often I'll start an argument vehemently against something and though little more than having someone to sound my ideas off and counter them I'll leave realising that actually I'm not against it at all.
Really when you think about it this is how arguments should go, if we all just sat shouting and never changing our opinions what's the point?
And the point was an argument "Do you consider yourself a woman or a transsexual?"
Which... in hind sight, after lots of arguing, I realise is the stupidest question ever. Because it's like holding up an apple and saying "is this a fruit or is it green?".
There doesn't have to be a third gender... okay, rewrite, for ME there doesn't have to be a third gender. I know for a lot of people that's not true and I respect that, but I don't think there's any reason to segregate me off from other women on the basis that I'm trans, just like there's no reason to segregate me from other women because I'm a folk singer (although MWMF would disagree I feel).
And it was at that point I realised something which I'm really glad to rave realised. I'm not happy about my past, I don't think many transsexual folk are, but the reason I dislike my past is that my past was 23 years of cowardice, of sticking to the rails. I don't think it makes me any less of a woman to stand up and say that I've done an amazing thing (or rather I'm still in the process of doing it) I've stopped and said I wasn't going to be what people told me I should be anymore.
And that takes courage. It shouldn't take courage, being yourself should be the easiest thing in the world to do, but as it stands, all the people who tell me I'm brave, I now know what they meant. I am proud that I decided to change my role in life. I am not particularly happy about the fact that I had to do so, being born with the right body/gender combination would have been much easier, but I'm proud that I'm doing this.
I really am.
In that same argument we were talking about how 'out' people are. It seems a lot like if you are willing to admit you're trans or if you actively tell people, you're somehow clinging to the old identity and arent really 100% the man or woman you've worked to become.
This is because is most people's heads the key to passing is ignorance. Being able to pass is the acid test of all transsexual people, and as most folk know the worst thing you can do when trying to pass is to just out and tell people you're trans. Some even see it as being tantamount to transwomen saying "Actually, I'm really a man!".
But that's bullshit. I used to believe that and the reason is it bullshit is because for the most part it's nothing to do with the admission itself. It's one of those odd things of how people blame themselves because other people are ignorant. Admitting your trans is not the same as telling someone you aren't really the woman/man you are. In actuality it's telling people how hard you fought to become what you are, not denying it.
The barrier is ignorance. I've said it a thousand times and it's no less true this time around. There was a time when I looked at the transfolk who spoke out about their ordeals and thought "You fools! what are you doing? How do you expect them to accept your gender if you tell them you were born different?"
And now that I've looked at it for a while, they're not fools. They see the bigger picture. If you hide your whole life away, there's still a chance that some drunken slip up will bring it all out, that you'll receive a letter from some junk mail company with your old name, that eventually it will come out. And when that happens the people who discover you will be plagued by the same ignorance that made you hide in the first place.
If you actually come out and say you're proud to have worked towards where you are, you're telling people on your terms and you can tell people a lot more besides. Hiding the truth does not combat ignorance, it makes it worse.
And I don't think we can rely on other people to beat the ignorance. If we want a better society, we have to make it ourselves. That's why I've decided to publically document my transition on youtube.
This will upset lots of people. But if I can explain things in my own words, I can at least stand up and say I tried.
I want to not only document my own transition but also cover some general gender related topics, one of which being the one I just mentioned.
In the off chance that I become widely viewed, I wondered if anyone had any suggestions for future gender politics topics I could cover, and any general advice on proceeding with this?
Well.. actually no, it's time to put my face on my argument.
I've done lots of soul searching of late, answering posts about the real heavy meat and bones of what transitioning means, how I'll deal with my past, how I'll deal with it in the future, whether I'll be out and proud, whether I'll try to go stealth, whether I'll cut myself off from the h8ers (and their lousy phone text spellings) and as often happens in these cases I had to talk to someone else before I realised how I felt about the subject.
My brain is a big quaking mass of obfuscated thoughts and concepts. Often I'll start an argument vehemently against something and though little more than having someone to sound my ideas off and counter them I'll leave realising that actually I'm not against it at all.
Really when you think about it this is how arguments should go, if we all just sat shouting and never changing our opinions what's the point?
And the point was an argument "Do you consider yourself a woman or a transsexual?"
Which... in hind sight, after lots of arguing, I realise is the stupidest question ever. Because it's like holding up an apple and saying "is this a fruit or is it green?".
There doesn't have to be a third gender... okay, rewrite, for ME there doesn't have to be a third gender. I know for a lot of people that's not true and I respect that, but I don't think there's any reason to segregate me off from other women on the basis that I'm trans, just like there's no reason to segregate me from other women because I'm a folk singer (although MWMF would disagree I feel).
And it was at that point I realised something which I'm really glad to rave realised. I'm not happy about my past, I don't think many transsexual folk are, but the reason I dislike my past is that my past was 23 years of cowardice, of sticking to the rails. I don't think it makes me any less of a woman to stand up and say that I've done an amazing thing (or rather I'm still in the process of doing it) I've stopped and said I wasn't going to be what people told me I should be anymore.
And that takes courage. It shouldn't take courage, being yourself should be the easiest thing in the world to do, but as it stands, all the people who tell me I'm brave, I now know what they meant. I am proud that I decided to change my role in life. I am not particularly happy about the fact that I had to do so, being born with the right body/gender combination would have been much easier, but I'm proud that I'm doing this.
I really am.
In that same argument we were talking about how 'out' people are. It seems a lot like if you are willing to admit you're trans or if you actively tell people, you're somehow clinging to the old identity and arent really 100% the man or woman you've worked to become.
This is because is most people's heads the key to passing is ignorance. Being able to pass is the acid test of all transsexual people, and as most folk know the worst thing you can do when trying to pass is to just out and tell people you're trans. Some even see it as being tantamount to transwomen saying "Actually, I'm really a man!".
But that's bullshit. I used to believe that and the reason is it bullshit is because for the most part it's nothing to do with the admission itself. It's one of those odd things of how people blame themselves because other people are ignorant. Admitting your trans is not the same as telling someone you aren't really the woman/man you are. In actuality it's telling people how hard you fought to become what you are, not denying it.
The barrier is ignorance. I've said it a thousand times and it's no less true this time around. There was a time when I looked at the transfolk who spoke out about their ordeals and thought "You fools! what are you doing? How do you expect them to accept your gender if you tell them you were born different?"
And now that I've looked at it for a while, they're not fools. They see the bigger picture. If you hide your whole life away, there's still a chance that some drunken slip up will bring it all out, that you'll receive a letter from some junk mail company with your old name, that eventually it will come out. And when that happens the people who discover you will be plagued by the same ignorance that made you hide in the first place.
If you actually come out and say you're proud to have worked towards where you are, you're telling people on your terms and you can tell people a lot more besides. Hiding the truth does not combat ignorance, it makes it worse.
And I don't think we can rely on other people to beat the ignorance. If we want a better society, we have to make it ourselves. That's why I've decided to publically document my transition on youtube.
This will upset lots of people. But if I can explain things in my own words, I can at least stand up and say I tried.
I want to not only document my own transition but also cover some general gender related topics, one of which being the one I just mentioned.
In the off chance that I become widely viewed, I wondered if anyone had any suggestions for future gender politics topics I could cover, and any general advice on proceeding with this?