The Closet is Too Cramped

[zaccolton.livejournal.com]

I've long since been questioning myself in many ways, always wondering if I infact was meant to be born this way. Although born a male,  I feel like I'm trapped inside this brutish phallic body, a sweet emotional soul trying to escape. This is my first post on livejournal and perhaps one of the most important ones I will make. The reason I use livejournal for such a confession is that it allows me to post to like-minded people, while maintaining my relative anonyminity. I've tried before to open the lines of communication between myself and my friends yet it has never gone over in a productive manner. I once confessed this secret to one of my best-friends who I thought would be able to accept it, yet sadly I over-estimated his tolerance level. He began to mock me and harrass me both verbally and physically over the secret which I just confessed to all of you. I don't really have a strong sense on venting these emotions but I feel that by talking with others (albeit, on websites such as these) I can learn to find my inner-self and finally let this body go.

I want to know that others, such as myself, are capable of keeping true to that person inside of us. I feel like I have no other way out letting these feelings be known. I live in a strict catholic house with both my parents and am sadly still too young for me to live on my own. While still attending high school, I am forced to live with them and their devout way of living. I know they would not support my decision since they truly believe in the traditional  sense of love. This is why I am forced to take to less obvious ways of communicating with others and seeking support. I want to tell my parents how I truly feel, yet I fear the reprecussions that would undoubtedly take place. I need someone to talk to about this and to give me support. If anyone feels like taking sometime out of their day to share a kind word or perhaps have a decent chat, I would be more than willing and could use the support. The best way to reach me would be through Msn at my email (I created it for this purpose alone)

zacolton@hotmail.com

I need the support... I want to tell my parents soon but could not do it without the moral support of others with me.