Eep, hello all.
Jul. 23rd, 2007 03:46 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
ryntha-doghare.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transUh, hi all, I'm totally new to this community.
A very boring self-introduction follows (which is practically an account of the past year and then some)!
Sometime last year, my friend announced she was bisexual. Me, having never heard of the term, was completely astounded. When I asked her to explain, I was extremely intrigued by how /right/ the term felt, and it took me less than a week to realise that that was /me/, I was bi. I was thirteen, and had previously had no need for interest in anything sexual, but the instant I knew I was bi, suddenly a world of opportunity seemed to open up before me. (Yes, this is getting somewhere eventually.) I met my first girlfriend shortly after, over the internet because at the time I was the only bisexual person in my entire year at school (still am) and didn't know anyone out of my year group. Because of this, there was a lot of gossip behind my back and homophobia I was met with, which did not help at all, but it's since mostly worn off. When we broke up I plunged into an intense period of soulsearching. I was and still am a very imaginative girl and looked through everything I could think of that were similar to things like otherkin (soulbonding, otakin, etc etc). Something I tried to tackle on many attempts was the weird sense of feeling somewhat male-but-not-quite that I had. I concluded that my best bet was to look into past lives, but at the age of 13 I couldn't really just go out and get professional help and I had no clue how to "awaken" memories if I actually, well, HAD any. The feeling of disatisfaction I had after this soulsearching, not having discovered the answers I would've liked, sunk me into depression which lasted a good month. Eventually pulling myself out of it I shied away from the topic that had originally caused the depression and left it for months, but some small part of me still considered things I stumbled across, yet not as intensely as I had previously. Then one night I decided to have a small search about and came across the wikipedia entry for "genderqueer". I went "hey, that sounds very much like me!" which explained everything, but after a month or so of knowing about it I'm still not very sure what might be linked to my psychological androgynity (I'm hoping it might be something exciting XDD). Still, I'm very glad to have discovered it and am now extremely comfortable with myself, even if everyone I talk to has never heard of psychological androgynity, which is a little unsettling. I haven't as of yet joined any communities or forums with similar people, this is the first, and I hope I'll fit in and such ^^ I'll try my best to be a well-behaved newbie shall I? I look forward to finding more about this damned thing that has haunted me so much but has now finally decided to let me know about it (and maybe figure out how to do better at crossdressing than my really amateur attempts) and getting to know some of the members of this community.
A very boring self-introduction follows (which is practically an account of the past year and then some)!
Sometime last year, my friend announced she was bisexual. Me, having never heard of the term, was completely astounded. When I asked her to explain, I was extremely intrigued by how /right/ the term felt, and it took me less than a week to realise that that was /me/, I was bi. I was thirteen, and had previously had no need for interest in anything sexual, but the instant I knew I was bi, suddenly a world of opportunity seemed to open up before me. (Yes, this is getting somewhere eventually.) I met my first girlfriend shortly after, over the internet because at the time I was the only bisexual person in my entire year at school (still am) and didn't know anyone out of my year group. Because of this, there was a lot of gossip behind my back and homophobia I was met with, which did not help at all, but it's since mostly worn off. When we broke up I plunged into an intense period of soulsearching. I was and still am a very imaginative girl and looked through everything I could think of that were similar to things like otherkin (soulbonding, otakin, etc etc). Something I tried to tackle on many attempts was the weird sense of feeling somewhat male-but-not-quite that I had. I concluded that my best bet was to look into past lives, but at the age of 13 I couldn't really just go out and get professional help and I had no clue how to "awaken" memories if I actually, well, HAD any. The feeling of disatisfaction I had after this soulsearching, not having discovered the answers I would've liked, sunk me into depression which lasted a good month. Eventually pulling myself out of it I shied away from the topic that had originally caused the depression and left it for months, but some small part of me still considered things I stumbled across, yet not as intensely as I had previously. Then one night I decided to have a small search about and came across the wikipedia entry for "genderqueer". I went "hey, that sounds very much like me!" which explained everything, but after a month or so of knowing about it I'm still not very sure what might be linked to my psychological androgynity (I'm hoping it might be something exciting XDD). Still, I'm very glad to have discovered it and am now extremely comfortable with myself, even if everyone I talk to has never heard of psychological androgynity, which is a little unsettling. I haven't as of yet joined any communities or forums with similar people, this is the first, and I hope I'll fit in and such ^^ I'll try my best to be a well-behaved newbie shall I? I look forward to finding more about this damned thing that has haunted me so much but has now finally decided to let me know about it (and maybe figure out how to do better at crossdressing than my really amateur attempts) and getting to know some of the members of this community.
