In which I divorce my mother
Aug. 29th, 2007 10:05 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
chemlabgoddess.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
trans(x-posted from my journal)
Erica: 22 days.
Wedding: 17 days.
I've gotten to where I feel the only option is to sever contact with she-who-gave-me-birth. Seems inappropriate to actually call her 'mother.'
A little backstory: She and those on her side of the family are either estranged from me, or contact me via my old (now 5 years out-of-date) male name. This year, Erica intercepted a birthday card from my maternal grandmother, wrote a nasty return message on it, and sent it back. I might wish she had just sent it back, but she has become a strong defender of my feelings and has drawn a line in the sand with how she will allow others to treat me. This has gotten my mother mad, and she doesn't want to 'see that person.' I had been arranging transportation for Sarah to see her over the long weekend.
I've very deliberately not informed her or anyone else in my birth family about our impending nuptials. I've pretty much decided to not disappoint my daughter this time, let her visit, then cut off contact. At some point I'll need to lay out bluntly the conditions for any contact with my family: proper name, gender, and respect for my relationship.
Whole thing has me sick to my stomach.
Erica: 22 days.
Wedding: 17 days.
I've gotten to where I feel the only option is to sever contact with she-who-gave-me-birth. Seems inappropriate to actually call her 'mother.'
A little backstory: She and those on her side of the family are either estranged from me, or contact me via my old (now 5 years out-of-date) male name. This year, Erica intercepted a birthday card from my maternal grandmother, wrote a nasty return message on it, and sent it back. I might wish she had just sent it back, but she has become a strong defender of my feelings and has drawn a line in the sand with how she will allow others to treat me. This has gotten my mother mad, and she doesn't want to 'see that person.' I had been arranging transportation for Sarah to see her over the long weekend.
I've very deliberately not informed her or anyone else in my birth family about our impending nuptials. I've pretty much decided to not disappoint my daughter this time, let her visit, then cut off contact. At some point I'll need to lay out bluntly the conditions for any contact with my family: proper name, gender, and respect for my relationship.
Whole thing has me sick to my stomach.