Two Years In Georgia_Two Years As Sarah
Sep. 17th, 2007 07:43 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
tvsarahlynn.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transToday I have been living in Georgia as Sarah for two years. I now consider 9-14 as my new birth date. When I moved here two years ago I left all family and friends behind in search of peace, happiness and to find my true self. As far as peace goes in my own mind I have found some but I'm not sure I will ever find total peace. There is always the nagging questions, did I do the right thing, did I hurt to many people for my own peace of mind and then there are always people I meet or just see while out shopping that won't let me have any peace of mind with there dirty looks and rude comments. There is always someone waiting to remind You that Your not a real girl, they judge me by my looks never taking time to know me. But I've found a little peace in knowing that as Sarah I'm a very caring and loving person and no matter what I do there will always be people ready to put me down and that I feel is there lose.
As far as happiness, yes I think I'm happy. I'm Sarah all the time except for work ( which I hope to change soon ) even then if not in my looks at least in my mind I'm Sarah. I'm starting to meet and make new friends. I love going shopping, I need so many things, all these years collecting male clothes and memories and only two years as Sarah, leaves a lot of catching up to do. I've been on hormones for almost 3 years now and I love the way my mind and body have changed. I am starting hair removal in a few weeks :) it's a big step for me, I hate shaving! I look forward to other changes in the future to help me look a little more feminine. I'm not asking for miracles but just a little help, lol. I'm not happy about losing my family and friends back in NY, but I hope someday to at least gain acceptance if not love from some of them. I dream of going back home but I'm really not sure if I can ever go home, then NY was bill's home not Sarah's so maybe I'm already home or maybe I've yet to find Sarah's home? But all in all I'm as happy as I can expect starting life all over again.
Have I found my true self? I think I'm on the right road finally but my journey has just begun. After all these years of hiding who I am and the battles in my own mind it's hard to say but in my heart I know this is who I am. I'm finally being true to Sarah. Sarah is getting her chance to shine and blossom into the woman she was born to be.
I look forward to my future as Sarah. I know I still have a lot of heartbreak ahead but I have become so confident and proud as Sarah and I know I am doing the right thing, I think I'll be able to find my peace and happiness. If not in this lifetime then I'll have to try harder in my next, sooner or later I'll get it right.
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As far as happiness, yes I think I'm happy. I'm Sarah all the time except for work ( which I hope to change soon ) even then if not in my looks at least in my mind I'm Sarah. I'm starting to meet and make new friends. I love going shopping, I need so many things, all these years collecting male clothes and memories and only two years as Sarah, leaves a lot of catching up to do. I've been on hormones for almost 3 years now and I love the way my mind and body have changed. I am starting hair removal in a few weeks :) it's a big step for me, I hate shaving! I look forward to other changes in the future to help me look a little more feminine. I'm not asking for miracles but just a little help, lol. I'm not happy about losing my family and friends back in NY, but I hope someday to at least gain acceptance if not love from some of them. I dream of going back home but I'm really not sure if I can ever go home, then NY was bill's home not Sarah's so maybe I'm already home or maybe I've yet to find Sarah's home? But all in all I'm as happy as I can expect starting life all over again.
Have I found my true self? I think I'm on the right road finally but my journey has just begun. After all these years of hiding who I am and the battles in my own mind it's hard to say but in my heart I know this is who I am. I'm finally being true to Sarah. Sarah is getting her chance to shine and blossom into the woman she was born to be.
I look forward to my future as Sarah. I know I still have a lot of heartbreak ahead but I have become so confident and proud as Sarah and I know I am doing the right thing, I think I'll be able to find my peace and happiness. If not in this lifetime then I'll have to try harder in my next, sooner or later I'll get it right.
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