Dealing with Doubts
Feb. 12th, 2008 08:37 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
vampire-muse.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transHello,
Lately this week, I have been swamped with all these doubts about how I see and percieve myself. After starting therapy and feeling like I was headed in the right direction discovering my feminine identity and letting it out, doubts have sort of surfaced. Most of the doubts surfaced shortly after I came out to my mother over a phone conversation or two in which she seemed fine with what I had to say at first, but then suspicious and almost accusatory a week later. Basically, she was asking me, "Why are you dealing with this now? Why do you feel you have to do anything?" - in reference to therapy and my feelings of wanting to deal with these identity issues finally after 20-plus years. I think she has gotten into my head. If she seems to doubt my sincerity and the seriousness of what I am trying to finally face, I begin to doubt myself too.
It's basically like this: "Am I sure that I am doing the right thing? How do I know for certain that I am a girl in a male body? How do I know that this isn't just a phase of some kind?"
I think my Mom is looking for some sort of evidence out of me- something concrete that I can't readily provide.
Have any of you faced these kinds of doubts or situations before? How did you folks deal with these feelings of doubt?
David/Sara
Lately this week, I have been swamped with all these doubts about how I see and percieve myself. After starting therapy and feeling like I was headed in the right direction discovering my feminine identity and letting it out, doubts have sort of surfaced. Most of the doubts surfaced shortly after I came out to my mother over a phone conversation or two in which she seemed fine with what I had to say at first, but then suspicious and almost accusatory a week later. Basically, she was asking me, "Why are you dealing with this now? Why do you feel you have to do anything?" - in reference to therapy and my feelings of wanting to deal with these identity issues finally after 20-plus years. I think she has gotten into my head. If she seems to doubt my sincerity and the seriousness of what I am trying to finally face, I begin to doubt myself too.
It's basically like this: "Am I sure that I am doing the right thing? How do I know for certain that I am a girl in a male body? How do I know that this isn't just a phase of some kind?"
I think my Mom is looking for some sort of evidence out of me- something concrete that I can't readily provide.
Have any of you faced these kinds of doubts or situations before? How did you folks deal with these feelings of doubt?
David/Sara