Conflicted

[marc-87.livejournal.com]

I am just so conflicted. I know meeting with my new therapist here in like a week will help but I was hoping I could maybe get some 'help' before then. Just wondering if anyone else felt like I do and where they are now.

I identity more as a guy. It just feels natural and better to me. I feel most comfortable dressed like a guy and I like it when I am mistaken for one. However, I feel like I am betraying someone if I get rid of all of my femininity. I hate dressing in revealing clothing but got use to it because I thought that is what my husband wanted. I will admit he looks at me differently when I do and I like that look but the discomfort I feel in those clothes is just so great, especially now that I am being honest with myself. So, anyways, kinda to my point, I have wanted a breast reduction since they kept growing (2 kids does that to ya). But now I am wondering should I just reduce them or get rid of them since the cost is about the same for both. But I feel bad if I completely get rid of them because I feel like I can't be feminine for my husband then yet I know he doesn't want me doing that.

Anyone else have this kind of internal conflict happen? What did you decide?