(no subject)

[lightbeamguru.livejournal.com]

Hey guys.. I need a shoulder.

I'm Mike, im 24. I'm living in orlando. I'm poor. I'm off my T. I dont have any docs down here. I'm lightyears away from surgery. I'm single. And I feel like I'm living in a shithole.
I guess what I'm saying is I need friends. I literally only know the people I work with and they basically all learned about me being trans right off the bat. I'm way more solitary than I'd like and I think its gone something to do with it. I'm reeling a bit after a girl told me I'm not her type because I cant stop reading that to mean "I dont like girls who pretend to be guys." I just havent really found a place to fit here and it just seems like everythings coming apart at the seams.
A few guys contacted me saying theyre in orlando too off of FTMVanity, but I lost their emails. I guess I'm looking for someone to hangout with. Someone to talk to. It seems like its impossible to make friends without college to help the process.
I'm just having a crappy day and dysphorias taking advantage of it, I'm stuck in a whirlwind, in my apartment, which feels like doom.


sigh. I dont even know what I'm asking for. Attention maybe?